So FSIL (I wonder if you guys even believe these crazy stories), I've never asked her how much she is spending on her wedding or who is paying for it, but between her and her mother, I've heard a bunch of different versions of the story. The original was that her parents were giving them 30g for the wedding and the budget was 50g. But I've heard that the wedding was going to cost as much as 80g at certain points and that the parents were "paying for most of it". I don't care! Seriously, stop telling me. A couple weeks ago, she started talking down the cost of the wedding and saying things like "I could never take money like that from my parents but they're insisting." Whatever.
Little back story, FSIL has some money in the bank, but she doesn't make a lot and has been helping to pay off her FI's credit card debt. Her FI owes over 100g on a house he owned with his ex over what the house is worth. He's in a crazy amount of debt in other words and has two kids. He makes a lot of money, but he's in debt somehow.
Today she texts me that she's so stressed out. Okay, so I ask why. She says she's having family problems. I couldn't believe it was with her family- they've totally been on the same page about this wedding. But then she tells me that her parents have been fighting with each other about money and so she had a huge fight with them and refused their money and ran out crying and screaming (her wedding is 5 weeks away!).
So I said I was confused... why was she getting upset about money that she had told them she would take at the beginning? Why would that make her cry and scream? So she said that "I wouldn't understand" she couldn't take money from her parents who are so poor. Now I'm sorry, her parents are VERY far from poor, but I hear from her a lot about how "poor" they are. They just spent 38g on their kitchen and were proud to tell us that and re-did the siding, windows, doors, and landscaping all in a couple of months and have planned a huge trip to India for right after FSIL's wedding. That's an awful lot of available cash for a "poor" family. But I digress...
So I finally just said everything I wanted to say to her. I told her that she and her FI has major financial issues and shouldn't be having the wedding they are having unless they take the money from her parents. If she had a problem with taking that money, then she should have thought about that earlier. Instead, she's being financially irresponsible and putting a wedding on a credit card. Her parents expected her to have this wedding, but also expected to pay for it considering her financial circumstances. I told her that she is the only person I know who didn't set a budget first and then plan a wedding that fit into that, instead she pictured the wedding she wanted and then expected that somehow it would magically get paid.
So I have a couple of theories. I really doubt that she's just being noble at the last minute.
1. She was stupid and honestly had no idea how much things were costing and just figured it out.
2. Her mom knew how much it was, but her dad didn't. The dad's super cheap, but the mom tries to get money out of him all the time. If the mom agreed to all this money and kept it from the dad until the last minute when he'd have to pay up, he'd be super pissed off and would have started a fight, which is why FSIL would have run out screaming and crying.
While I'm venting, if I get one more weekly email from FSIL to her WP about something insane that I don't need to know about, I'm going to scream!
Wow, I doubt anybody read this. It made me feel better to write it. 5 weeks...
May 2013 February Siggy: Invitations
