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October 2012 Weddings

FMIL is NOT coming at 3 days out!?!?!?

Back story: FI's mom is not the greatest person in the world. She stole FSIL and FBIL social security numbers and racked up a TON of debt that is now on their reports. Now, we all try to give her the benefit of the doubt and start over. We were in constant contact until January when she quit talking to me and FI in general. Being as she lives in Georgia, and we are in Illinois, it was not easy to get a hold of her (phone calls, texts, facebook) and even then we had to call her boyfriend, who neither of us has ever met. They sent the RSVP as they were coming (I mean we have been engaged for over 2 years) so we obviously included them in the head count (it's his mom!). I texted her THREE times before I got a response if she was going to make it up for the rehearsal dinner on Friday when she replies that they wouldn't be making to either the dinner or the wedding because she was attacked by her cat that had rabies and had surgery on her leg and has to have her rabies shots this weekend. She ignores us, and FSIL who have been trying to make things easy for her. Instead, she leaves me to tell her son that she isn't coming to his wedding! He is pretty much done with her and it is just crap. After everything that she's done to his siblings and him it makes me more angry than was before at her!  Sorry if some of this got confusing! Just needed to vent this frustration to someone and thank you for reading if you made it this far.

Re: FMIL is NOT coming at 3 days out!?!?!?

  • It is frustrating, and I am so very sorry! My first marriage - his 1st wife did the same thing to her kids re: credit and SSN's (How is THAT for confusing!), so I do understand how it affects someone's life. I wish he had a more involved and integrity kind of mom. That being said - maybe this is best. And, at this point, you do know - and you can look forward to your joyous day and not have to worry about what 'could' happen if she was able to join you!
    ~~Mendi~~ ...Everyone has their price; mine's chocolate Photobucket
  • I've never really trusted her, but played nice for his sake. He has a step mom that I am closer to (we kind of came into the family around the same time and have gotten to know each other well because of it), but because he has his mom he has kept distant from her. As his mother kept up her behavior the past few months, I think he has warmed to her. Especially, since she had a stroke earlier this year and is flying up from  Georgia for the wedding too. I am glad that he is finally seeing her for what she is, but I know that it is still  his mom and that it means a lot to him. He's not an emotional guy, but once I told him he got quiet and started cleaning, which means he was angry and upset. It just frustrates me that she can't understand how important this is to him. So, while I am kind of glad that he is done with her, I'm trying to stay sympathetic for him. Here I go again with my ranting!
  • Rant away, release the stress... we are here to listen...

    as PP said it is probably for the better... I am so very sorry you are going through this!...

    just breath and enjoy your special day!!
  • I'm so sorry she's doing that to him.  Just remember that the people who truly matter will be there for you two.  As PP said, rant away dear that's what we're here for.
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  • I am so sorry to hear about this.  You are just like me with my FI... a lionness that wants to protect him.  I feel so badly for your FI and his situation.  II hope not having her there (with a very interesting decline) won't cloud his day.  I'm sure he has developed coping mechanisms to deal with her abandonment over the years, but on special days I'm sure you hope deep down that the person will come around.

    My FI's mother is still saying there is a possbility she might not be abel to attend because she has to care for her husband (we don't count him as a stepfather because they married so late in life after FI was gone).  She's had months to make alternative arrangements for him, as she's done in the past, but has dragged her feet for some reason.  If she doesn't show up it will likely cast a bit of a cloud on our day that might go into our honeymoon.  And I don't know how I will think of her in the future.... 

    I'm sure you have other family that will shower him with lots of love and attention that day because of this situation.  Best of luck!!!
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