Serious Guest List Issue, Desperate for HELP!

ambular141 · February 2010

So future husband has this "friend" I use this term loosely as I've seen this guy and his wife once in the last year. Also my FH was supposed to be a groomsman in their wedding only to end up NOT EVEN INVITED! so on to my problem. He is insistent that they be invited to the wedding. Which typically I wouldn't object to inviting an estranged friend, I have a few myself, but in this particular case the bad friend guest also comes with a host of baggage. There will almost certainly be a argument or some case of drama involving him. My FH sister-in-law and him have already had multiple altercations. He has a horrible attitude which only gets worse with alcohol. Considering we are having open bar this will most definitely become and issue. PLEASE HELP!! I need advice on talking my FH out of this decision, or just how to deal with this character!

csumler · February 2010

If he is insisting that his friend comes then just let him. Not that big of a deal really.
Just have the bartender cut him off if once he starts to get too drunk.

danieliza1127 · February 2010

It sounds like you and your FI need to have a serious talk about 1) your reasons why this guy shouldn't be invited and 2) your FI's reasons why he wants the guy to be there. If they aren't friends anymore, I'd want to know why your FI even wants to invite him. Then come to a decision together. If he has to be invited, have someone keep an eye out for trouble.

CTGirl30 · February 2010

If your FI wants him on the guest list then let him be on the guest list. It's important to him - what if you were insistent on having a friend that you wanted to reconnect with at the wedding and FI was shooting you down?

If there are any "altercations" at the reception, your venue security can escort him out. He'll be the one looking like an @$$ but you will be the bigger person for extending the invitation. If you stomp your foot and forbid it, it doesn't make you look very good, I'm afraid.
I am also willing to bet you will be so wrapped up in interacting with your other guests / being pulled in 80 different directions and enjoying your new husband that it won't matter what the guy does.

SwedishChick2011 · February 2010

It looks like your wedding is over a year away, so you won't even be sending out invitations for a year. Is it possible your FH won't even be friends with this guy by then?

Stackeye210 · February 2010

Tell your FI how you feel. OR..........just lie and tell him you sent an invite. It must have gotten lost in the mail. I mean, since talking to FI seems to be very hard.

But seriously though, you have a real reason to be concerned so express that to FI.

scoetto · February 2010

Ditto Fishy & Dani.

RachNRich · February 2010

I say invite him....give him a few drinks, bust out a video camera---and tape the show. Then post it on YouTube. That'll learn him.

vallyhoo · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_serious-guest-list-issue-desperate?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5d4d03af-7260-4079-bd03-60e5004dcee5Post:de290ab0-b22a-4250-93df-018337e6c853">Serious Guest List Issue, Desperate for HELP!</a>:
[QUOTE]So future husband has this "friend" I use this term loosely as I've seen this guy and his wife once in the last year. Also my FH was supposed to be a groomsman in their wedding only to end up NOT EVEN INVITED! so on to my problem. He is insistent that they be invited to the wedding. Which typically I wouldn't object to inviting an estranged friend, I have a few myself, but in this particular case the bad friend guest also comes with a host of baggage. There will almost certainly be a argument or some case of drama involving him. My FH sister-in-law and him have already had multiple altercations. He has a horrible attitude which only gets worse with alcohol. Considering we are having open bar this will most definitely become and issue. PLEASE HELP!! I need advice on talking my FH out of this decision, or just how to deal with this character!
Posted by ambular141[/QUOTE]

J&K10910 · February 2010

You're certainly not dramatic or anything, now are you?

pumpkinpumpkin · February 2010

OH wow....SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO serious. What ever will you do??!!
Did it ever occur to you that perhaps it's important for your FH not to treat his friend the same way his friend treated him? Maybe it's important to your FH that he be there, or at least invited. 2 wrongs don't make a right, but I somehow get the idea that you're not quite old enough to have learned that yet...

vallyhoo · February 2010

April 23, 2011 is a looong way away.

georgia_bride09 · February 2010

I predict that this will not be your biggest wedding-related issue.

[Deleted User] · February 2010

like, totally ambular

iamjoesgurl · February 2010

Like pps said, I wouldn't even be discussing the invite list at this point. Things will change a lot in the next year. If it comes up, I would just say that your guest list is not yet made and leave it at that.

NuggetBrain · February 2010

Noodle has a "friend" like that. Last wedding we went to he got wasted, took his shirt off halfway through the reception, hit on the best man's wife all night and almost got in a fistfight with the groom's dad. And he was IN the wedding. Convo went as follows:

Noodle: We should probably invite Dingleberry, huh.
Nugs: Hells to the no! You know what he did last wedding he was at!
Noodle: You have a point. Ok we won't invite him.

So just...do that. Not that hard to talk to your FI about it if he's a total dingleberry. If your FI wants to invite a total dingleberry to your wedding that he doesn't even really speak to anymore regardless of your desires, or if you can't tell your FI not to invite the dingleberry to your wedding, then you have bigger issues.

Serious Guest List Issue, Desperate for HELP!

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