Excited/torn/sad/stressed 3rd times a charm?

Re: Excited/torn/sad/stressed 3rd times a charm?

• right1thistime member

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  --->broken record alert---->  You sound like you are still holding onto some grief.  Sometimes, moving on too quickly (6 months is quick) even to the most wonderful partner imaginable sort of puts grief into freeze frame.  It is not unreasonable to get some grief counseling before you start planning your wedding.  It doesn't mean that you are not happy about getting married, just that you need to unfreeze the feelings about your past love. 
  
  Once you are at peace with your loss, you will be better able to find joy in planning your future.  ~Donna

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• ichellemay1

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_excitedtornsadstressed-3rd-times-charm?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:2e840f08-0dfe-4562-8a58-b7613c2ecceePost:d908ab10-77a7-4d8f-8fe2-668e3425cf0b">Re: Excited/torn/sad/stressed 3rd times a charm?</a>:
  [QUOTE]--- />broken record alert---->  You sound like you are still holding onto some grief.  Sometimes, moving on too quickly (6 months is quick) even to the most wonderful partner imaginable sort of puts grief into freeze frame.  <strong>It is not unreasonable to get some grief counseling before you start planning your wedding</strong>.  It doesn't mean that you are not happy about getting married, just that you need to unfreeze the feelings about your past love.  Once you are at peace with your loss, you will be better able to find joy in planning your future.  ~Donna
  Posted by right1thistime[/QUOTE]
  
  This.

  

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• Lisa50 member

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_excitedtornsadstressed-3rd-times-charm?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:2e840f08-0dfe-4562-8a58-b7613c2ecceePost:d908ab10-77a7-4d8f-8fe2-668e3425cf0b">Re: Excited/torn/sad/stressed 3rd times a charm?</a>:
  [QUOTE]--- /><strong><font color="#ff0000">broken record alert</font></strong>---->  You sound like you are still holding onto some grief.  Sometimes, moving on too quickly (6 months is quick) even to the most wonderful partner imaginable sort of puts grief into freeze frame.  It is not unreasonable to get some grief counseling before you start planning your wedding.  It doesn't mean that you are not happy about getting married, just that you need to unfreeze the feelings about your past love.  Once you are at peace with your loss, you will be better able to find joy in planning your future.  ~Donna
  Posted by right1thistime[/QUOTE]
  
  What she said.  BTW ... a 5 year engagement is nothing to make excuses for.

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• ceceibson member

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  I, too, am a third-time bride.  Divorced the first time, widowed the second. Well, sort of.  My late husband and I were married 10 years, then divorced.  We remarried about 1 1/2 years later; he had metastatic melanoma, I remarried him, brought him home and took care of him here until he went to Hospice then died.

  
  

  I am thrilled to be getting married next summer but I can tell you that, in my very personal experience, your feelings are quite normal.  At least to a certain extent.  I'm worried that you say you are sad and so stressed, that your wedding to your late husband was perfect, things that suggest perhaps you really aren't ready.

  
  

  Hey, it's hard for some stranger on the internet to really understand and give advice.  

  
  

  I still think of my late husband often.  We had 2 children together; they are still at home with my FI and me.  We also talk about him regularly and in a healthy way.  His parents are thrilled about my life now and my MIL is even involved in my wedding planning.

  
  

  I hope you find some comfort from the past and joy for the future.

  

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