October 2012 Weddings

Feeling bad for FI

FI has a best man and three groomsmen. So far, only one GM has gotten measured for his tux, and that was only because he left in May to work on a remote island and won't be back until two days before the wedding, so he had to do it before he left.

The BM said he was going to go this past Sunday, but since it's tax free week, the traffic by the mall was insane and he didn't have time to wait. The other two GMs keep saying they're going to go, but their days off come and go, and when they see FI at work the next day, they say, "Oh, crap, I forgot about my tux!"

FI finally just told them, "If you don't get measured and order the tux by September 9th, they're going to charge extra to rush it." He understands that at this point, that's all he can do. He's not angry or anything. It just bothers me because I know that he's hurt that they're not making this a priority even after he told them it takes less than five minutes to get fitted and they reassured him that the tux was indeed in their budgets.

I told him that this is not a reflection of how much they care about his friendship, that it's really just a natural guy thing to not prioritize wedding stuff. I told him all he can do is give them the deadline and let them take it from there, and if they don't get the tux, they've taken themselves out of the wedding, but that made him feel even worse. Even the last bridesmaid to get her dress got it weeks ago, so of course he's comparing them to his friends and wondering why my friends care more than his.

Anyone else have GMs who haven't gotten measured yet? Any advice I can pass on to FI? Sorry this got long.
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Re: Feeling bad for FI

  • minionloverminionlover member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited August 2012
    Well you are farther ahead than my FI.  He hasn't decided whay he is going to wear let alone what our brothers are going to wear!!

    ETA:  You could suggest a time when they get together, get measured and go out for dinner.
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  • Well, FI asked 4 guys.  2 have gotten measured, 1 said he doesn't know if he can come, so declined the offer (it's his BIL), and his BM hasn't went yet either.  I texted his wife to get on him (he's OOT) but I think he's setting up for a "I can't come to the wedding".... so yea, I feel bad for my FI too. 

    Cathy has a good idea if the guys are Local!  Even if you have to do it individually, set up a time to go. 
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  • FI has one GM that hasn't gotten measured yet either. Even the tux store has started hounding us for his measurements. I think we will give him another week or two, since the store needs to order them soon. If he hasn't gone in, he'll have removed himself from the wedding. Nothing we can do about it.
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  • Thanks everyone! It's good to know it's not just FI's guys that are dragging their feet. I know FI and I have had 15 months to get excited about this wedding, whereas they're probably thinking with six weeks to go, they have plenty of time. It's frustrating, but I guess if they end up having to pay for rush shipping, that's their problem.

    Cathy--that's a great idea! I don't think all of them could go together because of conflicting schedules, but maybe FI should individually offer to accompany them and take them out for drinks after or something. That way there's no way they can not go. :)
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  • I understand! My FI has 5 GM including BM and only 2 have gotten measured! They have to be done by September 13th, but I've told them September 1st in case they don't listen. Of the 3 unmeasured, one is the BM who told us he was going 2 weeks ago and didn't and my brother he told me Thursday he'd go today...we shall see! One of the ones who has gone lives with us and it took me a month of hounding before he finally went, so make sure your FI knows it's apparently just a guy thing! I liked the idea of a PP that mentioned them maybe getting together for dinner or a drink and going and getting measured.
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