Toasts?

sjriley · January 2012

I'm not really sure which is the right board to ask this on, but could anyone tell me exactly who is supposed to make the toasts at the reception? I always thought it was the Best Man and MOH, but recently someone told me the MOH doesn't. Anyone have any light to shed on this?

ElisabethJoanne · January 2012

At most weddings I've attended, the best man, maid of honor, and both fathers offer toasts. The best man is most traditional/common. The conventional wisdom on theknot is you should ask all parents and wedding party members if they'd like to give a toast or plan to give a toast, and go from there.

cebrady89 · January 2012

I've never heard of both fathers giving a toast - only the brides father. My moh and bm will be toasting, as will my dad. My fiances dad will toast at the rehearsal dinner. Whoever wants to can certainly speak as long as you're okay with it

TiffannieF · January 2012

No one is required to make a toast so I wouldn't assume who would be doing one. My BIL was the best man and he came up to us and asked "So who is doing the toast?". Wtf, seriously?! Lol. Anyway he did a HORRIBLE toast (pretty much said nothing just kept saying "um ya"). The weddings I've been to the BM gives the first toast, more often now I'm seeing the MOH do one and the FOB (but not as common). I would politely ask people in the wedding party if they planned or would like to share a couple words with your guests so that the DJ knows who is toasting. Be sure that you don't ask/tell them to give a speech, that could be rude. In my story, it was actually funny because I asked everybody BUT the best man if they wanted to do a toast so those who wanted to do one (MOH, uncle/usher, and my dad) were all prepared...expect the one person who I THOUGHT knew he was going to do a toast...that's why I say ask first.

calliopeia2013 · January 2012

I think the BM and FOB are the big ones, and then the MOH is also really common. Parents of the groom would more traditionally toast at the rehearsal dinner (assuming they're hosting), but I've also seen them just toast at the wedding. But you can have anyone meaningful to you do a toast if they're interested.

aragx6 · January 2012

If your MOH wants to toast she certainly should and if your Fi's best man doesn't want to, well I don't think that should be a requirement either. The host of the event -- whether it be your dad or mom or yourself -- should also give a short thank you to everyone for attending.

jemmini6 · January 2012

The only toast that's really 'required' is the host of the wedding. Everyone else is optional, but traditionally, the BM and MOH give a toast as well.

We gave our BM and MOH the option, they both ended up doing a toast (didn't decide to until 5 minutes before the reception) and then my H did a short toast because we hosted our own wedding.

MyNameIsNot · January 2012

There's nothing set in stone. If someone wants to give a toast, they are supposed to let you know or ask you about it. You can't ask someone to toast, but you can ask your WP if they were planning on it.

At ours, my dad thanked the guests for coming (not really a toast, but more of a speech.) My MOH and H's sister both gave toasts. The BM didn't say anything.

kimiandgary · January 2012

We are having the FOB, MOH, and BM toast and that's it. Be wary of long-winded people and open-mics.

The FOG will be toasting at the rehearsal dinner, but everything is pretty traditional in our wedding (including who hosts what).

notyetavet · January 2012

When I was a MOH, there were 4 toasts, BM, MOH, FOB, FOG. Both sets of parents contributed to the wedding so I think both dads felt like they had to say something.

Like PP said, if anyone suggests an open mic, you should probably run screaming. I've never seen that turn out well and it seems like the embarrassing/inappropriate stories come out when people try to make things up as they go.

Toasts?

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