Wedding Etiquette Forum

How do you uninvite someone?

I have a "friend" who I have a lot of mutual friends with.I invited all of the mutual friends, but didn't feel right doing it without inviting her. Then I got her sister to custom design jewelry for my bridesmaids as their gift. So, yet another reason to keep her on the list. She came to our engagement party and bailed because the power went out for 30 min and she couldn't watch a game she wanted to see. It was back on in the time she found another place to watch it. Everyone else sat and hung out by candlelight. Then she showed up to my bachelorette party with her boyfriend and they complained the whole time about him being the only guy and how expensive their bill was. I'm maxed out on my guest list and would rather have someone there who really cares and wants to be there vs someone who will probably eat and find a lame excuse to leave. She's that friend that if we weren't invited to some of the same things we would never hang out. Can I uninvite her or am I stuck and never should have invited her in the first place? I never thought she would be so rude and selfish until these events!

Re: How do you uninvite someone?

  • You need to keep her on the invite list. She's already attended WR events. If she's as selfish as you say she is, then maybe she won't even come.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_uninvite-someone?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:40cf8466-3eb1-4bd1-b48f-6e2c8c88abb8Post:6add9df7-1a3c-4c32-a247-9d2450d4938d">How do you uninvite someone?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I have a "friend" who I have a lot of mutual friends with.I invited all of the mutual friends, but didn't feel right doing it without inviting her. Then I got her sister to custom design jewelry for my bridesmaids as their gift. So, yet another reason to keep her on the list. She came to our engagement party and bailed because the power went out for 30 min and she couldn't watch a game she wanted to see. It was back on in the time she found another place to watch it. Everyone else sat and hung out by candlelight. Then she showed up to my bachelorette party with her boyfriend and they complained the whole time about him being the only guy and how expensive their bill was. I'm maxed out on my guest list and would rather have someone there who really cares and wants to be there vs someone who will probably eat and find a lame excuse to leave. She's that friend that if we weren't invited to some of the same things we would never hang out. Can I uninvite her or <strong>am I stuck and never should have invited her in the first place?</strong> I never thought she would be so rude and selfish until these events!
    Posted by thisismlm[/QUOTE]
    Sorry, you're stuck with her.
  • Get a grip. None of what she did seems like a big enough deal to uninvite her to me. Yes, she was obnoxious, but if you've already sent her an invitation or STD you really can't uninvite her.
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  • OH NOES!  She left your PARTY?!  I would have drop kicked her right then.  To dah CURB.

    I don't know what your issues are with her, but they seem kind of petty.  Either way, she's been to everything else, so you need to suck it up.
  • Sorry, like it's been stated, it's rude to uninvite a guest. Chances are you'll be to busy at your reception to notice them anyway.
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  • I love "OH NOES!" as a response.
  • If you uninvite her, that's the end of the friendship. I kinda don't think leaving your engagement party is friendship-ending worthy. Invite her, and after that, if you guys grow apart, you grow apart. Such is life.
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  • You can't.  She stays.  Sorry.
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    Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
  • She was already invited and attended 2 WR events, yes you will have to keep her.

    BTW, while she was obnoxious I do not think either instance you wrote is worthy have uninviting her. 






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • I completely understand why you feel like she should be uninvited. But as you mentioned, she is connected to people and friends who you do care about and who have even done stuff for your wedding, she's not a person without connections close to you...in that case uninviting her with still be a lil unkind but doable.  If you have seating chart, sit her very faraway or with a trusted friend who will make sure if she doesn something rude, you wont know about it. But uninviting her would only make you look bad girlie.
  • She doesn't sound like a winner - but you still need to invite her.
  • Be the bigger person and let it go.  But yes, you have to invite her. 
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