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November 2013 Weddings

Feel so Proud! I put my foot down!!!

The following post is something I needed to get out of my system. I apologize if it's in the wrong section, but I havta say...I hate being forceful on people...

There is this mutual aqquaintance of mine  that has been for the past few months trying to get involved in my wedding planning, and even at one point insisted that she be a bridesmaid because the dress she wanted me to pick for the BMs looked best on her...and yes, I had done the "Oh, I know what I'm looking for but thank you." kind of thing...or just randomly change the subject on her...but a few days ago, I finally had enough.

The other day she kept mentioning my wedding plans to our mutual friends...while we were at ANOTHER bride's wedding. I thought that was rude...so rather than make a scene, I casually said "Hey I'm gonna go fix my makeup wanna come?" and she followed me in the rest room. There, I told her the following:

"Look, I know how excited you are about my wedding, but two things: 1) Let's focus on the Bride. this is HER special day, not mine...I think people will find it rude if they hear talk of someone ELSE's wedding that isn't happening yet...Second, the wedding isn't for another year, and I have so much on my plate right now with work and family, I'm putting the wedding on the back burner...but I appreciate your opinions..but for now, let's talk about something else."

She said she understood, but she looked rather mad at me...I stood by what I said, and that was final. I didn't want to be the mean person, but she has been annoying me for so long I just coildn't take it anymore.

Was I too harsh? Or should I have been harsher?

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Re: Feel so Proud! I put my foot down!!!

  • edited July 2012
    No, you stood your ground and I commend you for it! It is beyond rude to bring up your wedding during someone else's special day (which should be common sense)! I too had the same issue with one of my friends (a BFF actually) and we had to have the same talk! I told her while I appreciate all the focus and attention to the wedding and my happiness, I have a lot going on and when the time is right we can start to make some moves! I appreciate imput and ideas and whatever me and my husband decide on will be the bottome line. My friend actually confessed that the reason she was pushing so hard is because she almost felt like this was her wedding that she may or may not get to have! Sounds to me, your friend may be going through the same feelings as mine. You have to remember though, this day belongs to you and your future husband. It is okay to solicit advice and ideas, but at the end of the day, you BOTH have to do what will make you happy (even if your friends don't agree 100%)  HTH
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  • Hope this helps! :-) As far as understanding what your friend may really be feeling!
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  • ahhh gotchya! I have yet to learn the knot lingo here hahaha...thanks for your help :) I just hope I don't have to repeat myself to her, because this isn't the first time she has tried pushing things for my wedding...and I fear it won't be the last.
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  • No prob, I'm still learning as well Wink More than likely, this probably WON'T be the last reminder, but as long as you stand firm and not give into pressure to do anything other than what you and your FI have planned for your big day, you will be alright!
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_november-2013-weddings_feel-so-proud-i-put-my-foot-down?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:cd1f7f85-cf50-4bfe-9bfc-0a3b46d68364Discussion:a4a36c34-9d3a-40b7-8861-4229b2e20133Post:65deefe3-15b9-481b-bed1-0ec4608eb612">Feel so Proud! I put my foot down!!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]The following post is something I needed to get out of my system. I apologize if it's in the wrong section, but I havta say...I hate being forceful on people... There is this mutual aqquaintance of mine  that has been for the past few months trying to get involved in my wedding planning, and even at one point insisted that she be a bridesmaid because the dress she wanted me to pick for the BMs looked best on her...and yes, I had done the "Oh, I know what I'm looking for but thank you." kind of thing...or just randomly change the subject on her...but a few days ago, I finally had enough. The other day she kept mentioning my wedding plans to our mutual friends...while we were at ANOTHER bride's wedding. I thought that was rude...so rather than make a scene, I casually said "Hey I'm gonna go fix my makeup wanna come?" and she followed me in the rest room. There, I told her the following: "Look, I know how excited you are about my wedding, but two things: 1) Let's focus on the Bride. this is HER special day, not mine...I think people will find it rude if they hear talk of someone ELSE's wedding that isn't happening yet...Second, the wedding isn't for another year, and I have so much on my plate right now with work and family, I'm putting the wedding on the back burner...but I appreciate your opinions..but for now, let's talk about something else." She said she understood, but she looked rather mad at me...I stood by what I said, and that was final. I didn't want to be the mean person, but she has been annoying me for so long I just coildn't take it anymore. Was I too harsh? Or should I have been harsher?
    Posted by princesscastillo325[/QUOTE]

    I think what you said was perfect! Good Job!
  • That was said actually quite well. You handled it appropriately. She didn't let up and you put it in a way that you appreciated her interest but at the same time to back off. I commend you!
  • Thank you so much!!!
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