Just wrote my own vows! How do they sound? Any suggestions?

jbn04110 · July 2012

Sorry it's a bit long.

A little background:
My fiance loves Seinfeld and vidoegames
I'm known in the family as a messy cook with an additute.
We're both known as "the funny" couple among all our friends.

Here they are:

Josh, the day we “met” didn’t give off the greatest first impression. But that second time was certainly a charm. Although we were young, I felt my heart flutter- you could say it was love at first sight. I knew you were special- I knew because when I was down, you would lift me up, and when I was happy you would laugh with me- something you’ve continued to do to this day. You’ve taught me there can be people who love purely, live beautifully, and laugh daily (even if it’s just at a Seinfeld joke). I look forward to many more years of holding your hand, sharing our hopes and dreams, standing by your side, and always being the sturdy pillar you may need to hold you up. In the musical words of Disney’s Mulan, you’re as tranquil as a forest, but with a fire within; you’re a man- as swift as a coursing river, you have the force of a great typhoon, the strength of a raging fire, and (sometimes) are as mysterious as the dark side of the moon. I promise to love you eternally- with all my heart and soul. I promise to be your faithful partner, even when you want a “Player 2” to hold a controller by your side, or to hold your hand. I promise to walk with you in sickness or in health, for richer or poorer, for better or worse until the end of time. I also promise to clean up my dishes when I cook, let you hold the remote control every now and again, keep a cool head (no matter what my excuse may be), go on adventures with you without freaking out when we get lost, and scoop the cat box on trash day. I look forward to spending many years in our home with you, watching what children we may have grow and thrive, the world change and turn, and both our complexions become a little less smooth. I know our marriage will be as happy as can be, because admit it- we’re two of the funniest people we know, right? This is just the beginning-we’re stepping over the starting line and in the horizon is a new beautiful journey of life now shared by the main characters of our story: you and me until “the end”.

goobersinlove · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_vows_just-wrote-my-own-vows-how-do-they-sound-any-suggestions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:24Discussion:187bc765-de9a-4284-9d34-290f2486224cPost:0ae7b227-d835-4f40-88b6-feae6e64c1b8">Just wrote my own vows! How do they sound? Any suggestions?</a>:
[QUOTE] Josh, the day we “met” didn’t give off the greatest first impression. But that second time was certainly a charm. Although we were young, I felt my heart flutter- you could say it was love at first sight. I knew you were special- I knew because when I was down, you would lift me up, and when I was happy you would laugh with me- something you’ve continued to do to this day. You’ve taught me there can be people who love purely, live beautifully, and laugh daily (even if it’s just at a Seinfeld joke). I look forward to many more years of holding your hand, sharing our hopes and dreams, standing by your side, and always being the sturdy pillar you may need to hold you up. In the musical words of Disney’s Mulan, you’re as tranquil as a forest, but with a fire within; you’re a man- as swift as a coursing river, you have the force of a great typhoon, the strength of a raging fire, and (sometimes) are as mysterious as the dark side of the moon. I promise to love you eternally- with all my heart and soul. I promise to be your faithful partner, even when you want a “Player 2” to hold a controller by your side, or to hold your hand. I promise to walk with you in sickness or in health, for richer or poorer, for better or worse until the end of time. I also promise to clean up my dishes when I cook, let you hold the remote control every now and again, keep a cool head (no matter what my excuse may be), go on adventures with you without freaking out when we get lost, and scoop the cat box on trash day. I look forward to spending many years in our home with you, watching what children we may have grow and thrive, the world change and turn, and both our complexions become a little less smooth. I know our marriage will be as happy as can be, because admit it- we’re two of the funniest people we know, right? This is just the beginning-we’re stepping over the starting line and in the horizon is a new beautiful journey of life now shared by the main characters of our story: you and me until “the end”.
Posted by jbn04110[/QUOTE]

My honest opinion - and I mean this constructively - is that the part that I have made in red sounds like a teenage love letter, and the part about Mulan makes it sound even more childish. But all that aside, the most important thing is that what is in red and black are not vows. Vows are promises you make to each other, and that is the idea of the ceremony. In blue are your actual vows... the rest is just fluffing and love-lettery.

Focus on the actual promises you are making, what marriage means to you, etc. You don't need to recap your relationship.

Just wrote my own vows! How do they sound? Any suggestions?

Re: Just wrote my own vows! How do they sound? Any suggestions?

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