Registries?

[Deleted User] · July 2012

Found an interesting article about registries, anyone doing one and what are you putting on it? We're opting out since we're doing a DW.

http://shopping.yahoo.com/news/10-wedding-gifts-you-re-not-registering-for-but-should.html

SSaltzman87 · July 2012

Definitely an interesting article :-)

We have registries at Crate & Barrel and Macy's. Have a lot of the stuff they mentioned in the article actually, lol. Like we registered for more attachments for our Dyson & Kitchenaid Mixer. Don't plan ondoing a honeymoon registry though.

melb2013 · July 2012

I agree that couple's never register for a good quantity of fragile things... I plan on using the dishes and glasses we registered for a long time, but things will break, so we're getting service for 12 for everything. I'm super old fashioned about registeries though- I really don't like when people register for everything and the kitchen sink. It's like saying- BUY ME STUFF. I only registered for basics. If people want to buy those types of things, this way they'll know what my set is, otherwise, they can buy me anything they want. If people give us money, we can still buy anything we want.

sbc2013 · July 2012

We haven't registered yet, but the last couple items on that article are really disturbing suggestions, in my opinion. Registering for wedding costs? And this quote?! "Guests don't have to get you these--so you don't have to worry about anyone being offended..." I can tell you that I would DEFINITELY be offended if you registered for wedding costs, even if you didn't arm wrestle me into contributing. I also don't think you should tell people what charity to donate to--if you receive any money as gifts, make that decision yourself. I love the Humane Society, but asking someone else to do the donating for me just sounds ridiculous.

melb2013 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_registries?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:defc1b9e-d29d-4728-9ea6-7a1ac208b676Post:1c8f61c2-bae7-4779-a91d-a1249e7d1fd4">Re: Registries?</a>:
[QUOTE]We haven't registered yet, but the last couple items on that article are really disturbing suggestions, in my opinion. Registering for wedding costs? And this quote?! "Guests don't have to get you these--so you don't have to worry about anyone being offended..." I can tell you that I would DEFINITELY be offended if you registered for wedding costs, even if you didn't arm wrestle me into contributing. I also don't think you should tell people what charity to donate to--if you receive any money as gifts, make that decision yourself.<strong> I love the Humane Society, but asking someone else to do the donating for me just sounds ridiculous. </strong>
Posted by sbc2013[/QUOTE]

<div>I agree and I'll add that not everybody likes or agrees on the same charities. Some people could actually be offended by your choice of charity. That's why I don't like when people do donations in lue of favors- that and the fact that the favors aren't required in the first place.</div>

sbc2013 · July 2012

I completely agree. I'm sure there are people out there who genuinely don't do it to just to seem altriustic, but I think it can come off that way. I'd probably be really happy that a charity got the donation if I agreed with their values, etc, but I would also be really offended if I didn't and you donated "in my name," even if you didn't literally donate in my name. And I wouldn't think anything of it if I went to a wedding without favors.

worrelsj · July 2012

One of the comments on there said a couple registering for anything if they've been living together is ignorant and selfish. Why should I be treated different than other couples that have stayed living with their parents? That wasn't an option for us, not to mention a lot of our stuff that we currently have were hand me downs from DF's parents wedding presents, that was 30 years ago! Our goal in registering is to upgrade the things we have that really should be thrown away. We already own a lot of the "high ticket" items, we're not going to register for expensive china but for nice everyday dishes and new flatware. Nothing too fancy!

jenjlgsings · July 2012

Preferring gifts of gift cards or cash is fine. What I hate is when they have it printed in the shower and wedding invites. There are ways to do that without being such an etiquette faux pas.

And I can't even believe people have honeymoon and wedding expense registries. I'm sorry but if you can't afford those things then choose less expensive options. Take it out of the context of a wedding. When else would it be considered OK to ask friends and family to help you cover the cost of your vacation?

PJBHL5 · July 2012

Good reminders about what to reg for.
I disagree about the charity thing, though.. maybe our situation is different. I would absolutely say "In lieu of gifts, please consider sending a small contribution to Charity XYZ". That doesn't mean people have to do it, and if they don't agree with the charity, they can buy me a set of silverware. LOL. We are doing a charity dollar dance at our wedding. $1 to dance with one of us and all the money goes to the Wounded Warrior foundation. It's a charity that has been a huge help to us over the last year, it's a charity that FI will more than likely go work at once he's out, and it's a charity that everyone in our family KNOWS is important to us. If anyones offended by that at the wedding, they can feel free to leave. LOL

PJBHL5 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_registries?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:defc1b9e-d29d-4728-9ea6-7a1ac208b676Post:33d3507e-bfa0-47a5-916a-5f1206f822f5">Re: Registries?</a>:
[QUOTE]One of the comments on there said a couple registering for anything if they've been living together is ignorant and selfish. Why should I be treated different than other couples that have stayed living with their parents? That wasn't an option for us, not to mention a lot of our stuff that we currently have were hand me downs from DF's parents wedding presents, that was 30 years ago! Our goal in registering is to upgrade the things we have that really should be thrown away. We already own a lot of the "high ticket" items, we're not going to register for expensive china but for nice everyday dishes and new flatware. Nothing too fancy!
Posted by worrelsj[/QUOTE]

I agree. And this, IMO, is the same thing as having a baby shower for baby #2 (or hell, a wedding shower for Marriage #2). Each marriage/child/etc is something to celebrate, and you shouldn't have to forego things just b/c you didn't take the "traditional" path...

Annas2013 · July 2012

We're going to register at Bed Bath and Beyond and Belks. Seeing as how neither of us have lived on our own yet, we don't really have much.

Honeymoon and wedding fund registries just bother me though.

[Deleted User] · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_registries?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:defc1b9e-d29d-4728-9ea6-7a1ac208b676Post:ad8cbdd1-8023-45c8-a22f-2cc4136d30ee">Re: Registries?</a>:
[QUOTE]Preferring gifts of gift cards or cash is fine. What I hate is when they have it printed in the shower and wedding invites. There are ways to do that without being such an etiquette faux pas. And I can't even believe people have honeymoon and wedding expense registries. I'm sorry but if you can't afford those things then choose less expensive options. Take it out of the context of a wedding. When else would it be considered OK to ask friends and family to help you cover the cost of your vacation?
Posted by jenjlgsings[/QUOTE]

I have mixed feelings about the HM registry. My FIL are paying for our honeymoon as a gift to us. Wouldn't that be the same concept: guests gifting parts of a honeymoon? I guess the difference is we didn't ask for it?
Registries in general to me is weird...maybe because I'm more of a clothes shopper than home goods shopper :)

PJBHL5 · July 2012

I think HM registries are great for couples like us. We're both a bit older (27 and 32), so not the typical 20 year olds getting married who have nothing. He's been married before, as have I... we've each lived on our own, with roommates and with spouses. So we have a collection of stuff already. Hell, we've owned two houses between the two of us. We've got the blenders and crockpots covered. And knowing our family, they'd much rather gift us a trip ziplining in the caymans than give us a box of fancy knives.

bburkel · July 2012

We've considered the honey moon registry, but will probably skip it. We're going to do our Bed Bath and Beyond registry tonight. We're older too, and have a lot of stuff, but most of it needs upgrading - especially pots and pans and our utensils. We also bought a house last year and a lot of our walls are bare, so decorative stuff will be on the list too. And, we do a side business of making cornhole (bag toss) sets, so we're going to register at Menards for more tools to make our lives easier. I really wish Ace Hardware had a wedding registry, we tend to spend a lot of time and money there.

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