My FMIL is very generously throwing a bridal shower for me, largely planning all the details & handling the associated costs. I'm looking forward to the social & traditional aspect, though Fi and I don't need much - we've lived together for nearly 2 years.
My concerns- This is truly her party to throw and she has control of the guest list.
She has a very extended family (cousins whom Fi doesn't really know) and friends from work (we've met maybe a few) she plans to invite, but Fi and I are actually planning our wedding event for 75-80 guests - which is all spacing allows for at our venue. We just cannot invite all of them with such limited space.
She acknowledges this.
...BUT, because our wedding will be about 2 hours away from where most of these folks live, she thinks most of the shower guests would choose not come to the wedding if invited, so it's ok to invite them to the shower. I disagree, and think it's inappropriate to invite them to a shower when we physically will not have the space to even invite them to the wedding. When I brought this up, it seemed as if she took it as me not wanting to have a shower or appreciating the gesture.
What should I do? I don't want to hurt her feelings but I don't think it's right to have a shower full of guests we aren't inviting to our wedding.