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Fiance Needs Best Man Help!

annerenee07annerenee07
10 Comments Second Anniversary
in Michigan-Detroit
Hi there fellow Knotties,

My FI needs some help with his best man situation. Last year he asked his uncle to be his best man. Sean and his uncle worked together and became very close and he pretty much looked up to him. Well in October, Sean had gotten a better job offer and obviously took the job. But ever since his uncle really has not talked to him and if he has it was not the same as it used to- very awkward. Now that we are 9mths away from our wedding, he is stuck because now he wants to ask his good friend to be his best man. Should he ask his uncle if he still wants to be his best man, before he asks his friend? Or just assume because of the current situation, that he does not want to be involved any more? Please help not sure what to do.
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Re: Fiance Needs Best Man Help!

  • emarston1emarston1 member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Unless the uncle says something about not wanting to be the best man anymore, he's still the best man.  If your fiance removes him, that is a relationship ending move and considering he's family, there is no way I would ever go this route.  If your fiance wants to add the friend, make him a groomsman because the best man slot is already filled.

    Has your fiance talked to his uncle to find out what might be going on?  Things aren't going to get better if it never gets talked about.
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  • Milsey32Milsey32
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Don't assume anything from anyone. Have him talk to his Uncle about how he feels. Work things out. If that doesn't happen.. and Uncle doesn't want to stand up in the wedding... THEN move on.
    image
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  • Meg1036Meg1036
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    It sounds like your husband is regretting his choice, but that's too bad.  (FYI, this is why you really shouldn't ask your wedding party until about a year out).  There is no polite way to ask someone if they still want to be in your wedding.  They will automatically assume that they aren't wanted anymore, and as Liz said, that's a relationship ending move.

    Good advice is to treat "wedding party" problems as "friend" problems.  Obviously, your FI's uncle used to be really important to him - your FI should put some time and effort into maintaining that relationship and making sure his uncle is ok.
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