So my fiance and I are both active duty military and stationed in Washington state. He is currently deployed and we were planning to have a wedding in my home town in Iowa. We knew Iowa would be affordable and I would have lots of help from friends and family, plus his hometown is only 8 hours away, as opposed to if we had it in Washington both our familiies would have to fly.
Well recently we realized that when he returned from deployment he would be PCSing to Japan within a couple months! I will still be here until further notice... so we thought "Hey, lets get married in Washington because it's easier for us to plan and be able to get leave and so on, plus most of our friends are here." So we just started looking at wedding venues for an early October wedding in WA (I know we are in a time crunch here, believe me) so after looking at a few venues (both of us in our different locations) I had commented on how expensive it was here in Washington and I don't know how we can afford it. Well this opened up a lot of issues because he was under the impression that my parents were going to be helping out a lot (financially) and I had always assumed we were paying our own way.
My mother is terminally ill with cancer and liver failure but cannot get approved for SS/Disability. I don't feel right even considering talking to my mom and step dad for money and my dad has never had his stuff together so I know that's not happening. He plans on asking his parents but his dad is broke and his mom may be able to give a couple hundred but that's all I think.
Now we are trying to plan a wedding that is 2.5 months away and we have nothing set, not even a date or a venue, or a wedding dress! I would love to get married in a barn/farm and have it very vintage and rustic... but idk if I can find a venue under 3 grand, let alone under a grand, and many places here only allow their catering which is also astranomical. At this point I'm thinking we are going to have to just get legally married and plan a wedding in the future or have a small little wedding.
I know I sound like a brat but we really wanted to make this happen and we don't want to have a wedding later because my mother may not be alive for it, and I am having a lot of issues with my reproductive system and may need a hysterectomy... I'm 26 and he's 29. We are being told if we want children we should start trying asap or I may not be able to ever concieve. We don't want to wait, we want to do things right and make it a day everyone can enjoy, especially my mom. I'll take any advice at this point!!
Thank you!!
I can't plan an Iowa wedding because we won't both be allowed leave in the small amount of time we have to request it, not to mention book anything ahead of time. I have access to a barn and stuff at home and I don't want a Vera Wang dress. Iowa would be VERY affordable, but we can't make it to Iowa, we need something in Washington state and where we live the cost of living is very high and it's a tourist area...