HELP...we can only have 10 chairs at the ceremony

brackenh2 · August 2010

We have booked our ceremony to be at a Gazebo at a lake/park area. Since they do so many weddings they do not allow more than 10 chairs because they don't want the grass ruined.

I need a unique/fun/logistical way to arrange nearly 80 people at our ceremony.

HELP...I'm stressing about this!

aerinpegadrak · August 2010

Do they have any recommendations? Surely they do weddings for more than 10 guests. If they don't allow chairs, would they permit benches, hay bales, that sort of thing? You need a seat for every butt.

brackenh2 · August 2010

There are about 6 picnic tables that can be used. I'm not sure how to arrange them.

twilight.rose · August 2010

I don't understand how if they "do many weddings," they have no alternatives for seating. Surely they are aware that many people will have more than 10 guests at their ceremony.

Honestly, if there's no way you can provide enough seating for everyone (as PP suggested, bales of hay, etc.), I would search for another venue. You must have enough seating for all your guests.

AbbeyS2011 · August 2010

If it is permissible, rent some benches for your guests. I would ask the park ranger what is an acceptable alternative. I would also include the 10 chairs for grandparents or elderly guests so they have a guaranteed place to sit.

If not possible, you need to let your guests know it will be a "standing room only" ceremony so they (ladies especially) can wear proper shoes!

ehathewa · August 2010

I went to a wedding where there were only a dozen or so chairs and I was OK with it... it was a pain that my heels were sinking into the gound.

If you do go through with this make sure you have good ushers/system to make sure the right people (grandmas, people with babies, etc) get the chairs.

Ask about benches or what others have done.

vsgal · August 2010

You need to have seats for all the tushes at the wedding. It is not appropriate to make anyone stand for any reason. I would talk to the venue about the amount of people that you are expecting and see what they recommend. If they do not have a solution for accommodating chairs for ALL of your guests, then I would find a new venue.

It is very rude not to provide seating.

mysticl · August 2010

Get a new venue. There is no way to know by looking who needs a seat. Some people have physical problems that you can't see by looking at them.

megk8oz · August 2010

If there's really "no way around it", I'd just find a new venue. Like PPs, I really can't believe that they do "so many" weddings but have no options other than 10 chairs and a few picnic tables (That I'm not even sure could comfortable accomodate 80 people) ... I'm a firm believer in a seat for every butt.

lalalinny · August 2010

While I would say seats are required, maybe they're not. Make sure the guests of honor (immediate family, grandparents) have a chair. Then,

have everyone stand in a circle around you while the BRIEF ceremony is performed. Don't make everyone stand for 30 minutes or more. Consider a small mic and amp for the officiant, so that everyone can hear you.

lay out picnic blankets on the ground and make a bunch of small comfy pillows (easy by hand!) for everyone to sit on. Make sure this is indicated somehow in the invite so everyone can wear proper shoes/be prepared.

bring in benches/hay bales/picnic table (as "rows") for people to sit on.

I think it would be easy to pull it off! The key is making sure people are prepared and keeping the ceremony a little brief so that everybody's feet are happy for the 'dinner and dancing to follow'

vsgal · August 2010

lalalinny, here is the issue with your line of thinking.

People will arrive early to the ceremony, at least 15-30 minutes.
A wedding ceremony never starts on time. 10 minutes late if you are lucky.
20-30 minutes for the ceremony.
15-20 minutes mingling right after the ceremony.
1 hour at least for pictures.
Ushered in for the reception

You cannot take into the account the length of the ceremony only. As you can see, the actual time of standing is realisticaly closer to an hour. This does not include the cocktail hour while you are taking pictures. Not to mention the fact that when I go to a wedding, I wear pretty shoes that are not low nor are they usually the most comfortable. Pair that with the fact that I have to walk and stand on grass and dirt and you have one very unhappy guest.

A couple of other things. Some men, no matter their age, will not sit if a lady is standing. My friends 87-year old father who uses a cane and oxygen is like this. He refuses to sit and he will give up his seat.

What do you do when Great Aunt Edna, 5'3", gets stuck behind frat brother Frank, 6'9"? What do you do when your friend, Martha, trips and breaks her toe the day before the wedding?

Laying out blankets and pillows has some issues as well. Who do you know that can get up gracefully without flashing everyone in their cute party dress? Would you spend $100 on a new dress or suit and then get down on the ground in it?

Do a test. Go out in the woods in your prettiest dress and shoes for one hour and see how you feel at the end. Bring a blanket and some pillows and sit for an hour and see how uncomfortable that ground gets.

The best option is to get chairs or get a different venue or cut the guest list or use the benches. OP, you have to have a seat for every butt and not on the ground.

Ashes_3 · August 2010

I think the hay bails with cheap quilts placed over them would be very cute. A knotty recently posted photo's on here where she did the exact thing. I don't remember her name to give her kudo's for it, but it looked great.

kendra2727 · September 2010

I read the initial post and was prepared to write "No worries. I can only use 10 or so of my site's chairs for my ceremony [at a non-traditional ceremony location]. Ensure elderly people/guests with disabilities/etc. are assigned to the seats, have a 'runner' of some type to create an aisle, have a few ushers, and rely on the fact that everyone has been to a wedding before and can easily figure out where to stand and which way to face."

Now, after reading the responses, I am worried. No one's heels will be sinking into the ground (it is concrete). We have stressed with our officiant that we need to start on time and keep the ceremony to ~10 minutes. Our reception is at the dame location, and during the cocktail hour, guests will have access to the dinner area which will have a chair for each person. But most people will have to stand for the ceremony. (Great advice to let people know this in advance; I'll include it in an email and on my knot.com website.)

But honestly, am I going to be viewed as a rude bride and a terrible hostess if I don't have 'a seat for every butt' during the wedding reception? Renting additional chairs is an (out of my price range) option. I certainly want everyone to be happy and comfortable ... Thoughts?? Thank you.

vsgal · September 2010

I honestyl think you will be viewed as rude to your guests. I would certainly side-eye the situation. We rented chairs for $2.00 each. They were not elaborate, but they served the purpose. If you want everyone to be comfortable, cut out something else in the budget and provide them. As a guest, I would rather have a seat than have a favor that I probably won't take in the first place.

I have to tell you that despite your best intentions, the ceremony will not start on time. We had the same expectations. I even left the hotel super early to get to the ceremony location early. We ended up starting 10 minutes late. But, as you see, life still happens on your wedding day. Rain still falls and backs up traffic. The hairstylist gets behind and everyone is an hour behind schedule. Traffic accidents still happen. The MIL has a flat tire on the way to the ceremony and you wait for her. All I am saying is that you can have every intention of starting at a certain time, but there is a very real possibility that you won't.

As my response says above, it is plain rude to force people to stand at your ceremony. Nobody would ever say it to your face, but they will talk behind your back. One of the worst weddings I went to did not provide chairs and we still talk about it to this day and not in a good way.

mrskaniver · September 2010

I went to a wedding that ended up being standing room only. It was suppoed to be in her backyard, but unfortunately it poured rain all over her rented chairs, tables, everything. They moved everyone inside to the living room with her arch and squeezed us around a plastic aisle runner. I didn't think it was "rude" because of the situation but it was definitely awkward standing around. We had to stand in the back as well because FI is 6'5".
I think it's doable to have standing room only, if you truly do keep it brief. However, it would seem a bit rude to me as a guest if not enough chairs were provided for everyone there. It is unlikely they would be aware of the rule- I've never heard of such a thing. So all they would see is some people get to sit while others do not.
If I were you, I would be looking for another gazebo or similar affordable venue that would allow you to have seating.

aerinpegadrak · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_helpwe-can-only-10-chairs-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:b97b9f0e-992a-4d81-b0bd-442c4099af94Post:02ede595-c0a3-4b24-be69-afb8cac4adc7">Re: HELP...we can only have 10 chairs at the ceremony</a>:
[QUOTE]I read the initial post and was prepared to write "No worries. I can only use 10 or so of my site's chairs for my ceremony [at a non-traditional ceremony location]. Ensure elderly people/guests with disabilities/etc. are assigned to the seats, have a 'runner' of some type to create an aisle, have a few ushers, and rely on the fact that everyone has been to a wedding before and can easily figure out where to stand and which way to face." Now, after reading the responses, I am worried. No one's heels will be sinking into the ground (it is concrete). We have stressed with our officiant that we need to start on time and keep the ceremony to ~10 minutes. Our reception is at the dame location, and during the cocktail hour, guests will have access to the dinner area which will have a chair for each person. But most people will have to stand for the ceremony. (Great advice to let people know this in advance; I'll include it in an email and on my knot.com website.) But honestly, am I going to be viewed as a rude bride and a terrible hostess if I don't have 'a seat for every butt' during the wedding reception? Renting additional chairs is an (out of my price range) option. I certainly want everyone to be happy and comfortable ... Thoughts?? Thank you.
Posted by kendra2727[/QUOTE]
I told everyone that I didn't care if we walked down the aisle naked, the ceremony was going to start at 7:30. There was some confusion over the music, and I think it was closer to 7:40 before the processional started.

If the ceremony and reception are in the same venue, why not just have guests sit at their tables and do the ceremony? Or even just move the chairs? I've been to a couple of weddings where I had to move my own chair, I never really minded. It's not the best option, but it's far better than having everyone stand for the ceremony. (Besides, standing in one place on concrete is even worse on your feet and knees than standing on grass. When I was at Disney, every position that required you to stand in one place had a rubber mat, because the concrete is just brutal even when you're wearing comfortable work shoes.)

preciosa4 · September 2010

You need to have some sort of seats... (And picnic tables are awkward for anyone in a narrow skirt, delicate fabric, wearing pantyhose or heels, not to mention someone with knee or mobility problems...)

In my opinion, it is rude to provide seating for some and not others, but even if you take care that the little old ladies are seated, what about the person with the back problem that you don't know about or the person who is feeling warm and dehydrated? Not to mention trying to wear heels in the grass and not sink in...

I hate to say it , but I'd either raise a little hell with the venue (The chairs won't destroy the lawn THAT much!) or I'd go elsewhere. You can get creative with benches or whatever, but people really DO need to be able to sit. Young, healthy people may be fine, but you never really know. Even 10 minutes is too long for some people. You don't want people passing out or being in pain, or whatever. It's just not worth it.

HELP...we can only have 10 chairs at the ceremony

Re: HELP...we can only have 10 chairs at the ceremony

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