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wedding party gifts
I'm having a bit of difficulty figuring out what to get my 2 sisters, one is my personal attendent and one is a reader. I've already bought custom picture frames for them but still feel I need something else. I was thinking around $20 for each other them, any suggestions?
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Re: wedding party gifts
[QUOTE]I'm having a bit of difficulty figuring out what to get my 2 sisters, one is my personal attendent and one is a reader. I've already bought custom picture frames for them but still feel I need something else. I was thinking around $20 for each other them, any suggestions?
Posted by samanthajeremy[/QUOTE]
<div>For gifts, shop like it is their birthday. Since we don't know your sisters, we have no idea what a good gift would be for them.</div><div>
</div><div>For the personal attendant, you should pay her the going rate for that service. That's a vendor, like a wedding planner or a DJ, not something you ask a friend to do as a favor. If you're having someone miss out on your wedding to do this, you need to be writing them a check. </div>
What do they like?? Gift certificates to a place they like to shop is a good place to start.
I bought my sister a white gold necklace because she likes jewelery. I also considered getting her concert tickets because she loves U2, but couldn't find anything.
Maybe a stupid question, what is a "personal attendent'? I got married and didn't have one.
I gave my MOH a gift card for her fav store because she was out of state and couldn't take much back with her. We got BM a cooler/chair for fishing and he used it on the beach the next day!
I could go to the restroom on my own.
I had BM pay for things that we didn't pay before hand. I didn't know this had to be a different person.
I'm also not going to pay my sister in a check, this seems absolutly absorb it me. I'm not asking her to be at my beck and call all night, I'm not a bridezilla so I don't need her to fetch me a drink either. In fact, I'd rather do it myself and get to enjoy my day not get stuck talking to the same person all night because I can't get away!
[QUOTE]First of all, my sister asks to have this position. Second of all, I'd rather be a personal attendent that spend an ass load of money on a dress, shoes, hair and makeup, showers, parties you name it. You are still involved with all the wedding aspects but at a much cheaper cost to yourself. I'm also not going to pay my sister in a check,<strong> this seems absolutly absorb it </strong>me. I'm not asking her to be at my beck and call all night, I'm not a bridezilla so I don't need her to fetch me a drink either. In fact, I'd rather do it myself and get to enjoy my day not get stuck talking to the same person all night because I can't get away!
Posted by samanthajeremy[/QUOTE]
What's "absolutely absorb it"? Did you mean exorbitant???
I think it's kind of presumptuous that you think your sisters/friends are so desperate just to be a part of your day that they would take any job you had for them. If they don't want to be a BM or reader, which are both honors IMO, then guest is also an honor. I'm curious, what "jobs" do you think your PA should do? If you're not asking her to do anything but just follow you around, that's kind of crappy. That would be the most boring thing ever and you don't even get to be in pictures or wear a special dress or anything. PLUS the costs you say are associated with being a BM are really only the dress and shoes. Hair and makeup being professionally done should be optional, and if you require them, you pay. Showers are OPTIONAL.
[QUOTE]My personal attendent just helps me get ready, helps me hold up my dress at the reception so I can go to the bathroom, she's also taking care of paying the vendors the day of. I've got all the checks ready to go but I've put her in charge of passing out the moeny so I dont' have to worry about it. Alot of time personal attendents are just an extention of MOH.
Posted by samanthajeremy[/QUOTE]
Oh geebus.
I'm sure your PA is jumping with excitement at the thought of "holding up your dress while you pee." I can imagine no greater honor.
My MOH's only job is to show up in a dress. She doesn't need to worry about paying vendors or helping me pee. I'm a big girl who's paying vendors ahead of time and picked a dress that will allow me to be an independent being. I didn't want to saddle anyone with these ridiculous problems because they are no one's problems but mine and my fiance's.
"Extension of MOH"... ::rolls eyes::
[QUOTE]First of all, my sister asks to have this position. Second of all, I'd rather be a personal attendent that spend an ass load of money on a dress, shoes, hair and makeup, showers, parties you name it. You are still involved with all the wedding aspects but at a much cheaper cost to yourself. I'm also not going to pay my sister in a check, <strong>this seems absolutly absorb it me</strong>. I'm not asking her to be at my beck and call all night, I'm not a bridezilla so I don't need her to fetch me a drink either. In fact, I'd rather do it myself and get to enjoy my day not get stuck talking to the same person all night because I can't get away!
Posted by samanthajeremy[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Awesome. Absorb it. </div><div>
</div><div>And by the way, expecting your BMs to spend money on shoes, hair, make up, showers, and parties is the definition of a bridezilla. Those things are ALL optional, and if they choose to do them, it is a gift to you.</div><div>
</div><div>If you are ok with taking advantage of your sister in this way, that's on you and your conscience. But what you are asking her to do is to be a staff person at your wedding, and you should be paying her for this. What you describe is basically a day of coordinator, and it's not cheap, nor is it enjoyable. To hint that treating her this way is not a bridezilla or selfish move is delusional.
</div>
The question posed here is not whether or not a personal attendant is the bride's b*tch, its not whether or not the bride's sister is honored to be a personal attendant or if any personal attendant is honored. That is completely subjective. Some people hate to be bridesmaids or personal attendants and aren't happy, some live for it, and most of us fall somewhere in the spectrum.
The truth is that there is documentation to show that people enjoy weddings more when they feel they have a stake in it. If I had a sister, and she was getting married, I WOULD feel honored to be there for small, special parts of her day. Even knowing I was needed and trusted with the most mundane errands, I was helping with a day important to someone I loved. That's family, and that's love. I know people don't feel its an honor to help someone go pee. I wouldn't feel that way about a college friend or cousin or something like that. But I have a few choice women in my life that I would happily do anything for to make their big day special, and I think everyone needs to just relax a little.
If you hate the idea of personal attendant, don't have one! I don't have one. But she's got a sister who wanted to be part of her day, and why does spending time with your sister on her wedding day have to be mundane and tedious when they've probably spent their lives doing small things like this for each other.
It's an honor. It may be abused by some, but let's give it a rest.
[QUOTE]I agree with WinterWed17 and I have your back, samanthajeremy. The question posed here is not whether or not a personal attendant is the bride's b*tch, its not whether or not the bride's sister is honored to be a personal attendant or if any personal attendant is honored. That is completely subjective. Some people hate to be bridesmaids or personal attendants and aren't happy, some live for it, and most of us fall somewhere in the spectrum. The truth is that there is documentation to show that people enjoy weddings more when they feel they have a stake in it. If I had a sister, and she was getting married, I WOULD feel honored to be there for small, special parts of her day. Even knowing I was needed and trusted with the most mundane errands, I was helping with a day important to someone I loved. That's family, and that's love. I know people don't feel its an honor to help someone go pee. I wouldn't feel that way about a college friend or cousin or something like that. But I have a few choice women in my life that I would happily do anything for to make their big day special, and I think everyone needs to just relax a little. If you hate the idea of personal attendant, don't have one! I don't have one. But she's got a sister who wanted to be part of her day, and why does spending time with your sister on her wedding day have to be mundane and tedious when they've probably spent their lives doing small things like this for each other. It's an honor. It may be abused by some, but let's give it a rest.
Posted by stitchingchica[/QUOTE]
Thanks for the lecture, Mom.