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Second Weddings
Anyone else more excited about their second wedding then their first wedding?
I can't believe how much more excited I am about this wedding then I was my first!
My first wedding my ex wanted to run the whole show. I didn't get much say in the wedding so I didn't even have fun planning it...
This wedding the fiance is asking me for feedback about his choices, asking me what's important to me about a wedding, and we've just been having a blast planning it together and I'm getting REALLY excited about it!
Is anyone else more excited about this wedding??
My first wedding my ex wanted to run the whole show. I didn't get much say in the wedding so I didn't even have fun planning it...
This wedding the fiance is asking me for feedback about his choices, asking me what's important to me about a wedding, and we've just been having a blast planning it together and I'm getting REALLY excited about it!
Is anyone else more excited about this wedding??
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Anyone else more excited about their second wedding then their first wedding?
In a lot of ways, the first one was easier. I'm still (less than three months out) struggling with the old-fashioned notion that a second marriage should start at a courthouse, with me in an ivory suit and be a low-key event. The first time around there was the "you're a bride, you can have whatever you want" attitude from friends and family. Now there's the "aren't you afraid this one is going to fail too?" Not that anyone has put it quite that bluntly, but it's popped up a few times.
I am much more excited about this marriage, and I think that's the important part. I found a true partner. This will not be the "best day of our lives". If it is, then we did something wrong. It's an important event, but hopefully we have many far happier days ahead of us.
[QUOTE]I am because I am older and less stressed! When I got married the first time I was graduating, starting a new job and getting married all in the same month. This time it is a breeze.
Posted by 20pearls16[/QUOTE]
Yeah mine is definitely less stressful as well, I consider my first marriage my, "Practice Marriage," hahaha.
We have decided not to tell anyone what our plans are until we have everything mostly planned so we avoid all the pushiness of both our families.
I have the worry about this being my second wedding, but I am so much happier this time around. And my family seems to support my relationship with N. I also have it already ok in my mind if people are not happy for us, because I am happy.
My first marriage was an abusive trainwreck that should have never happened. It lasted less than 5 months and I didnt feel like I was married.
But this time, I am happy with my decision.
[QUOTE]I don't have the same sense of dread that I did with the first one, if that's what you mean. In a lot of ways, the first one was easier. I'm still (less than three months out) struggling with the old-fashioned notion that a second marriage should start at a courthouse, with me in an ivory suit and be a low-key event. The first time around there was the "you're a bride, you can have whatever you want" attitude from friends and family. Now there's the "aren't you afraid this one is going to fail too?" Not that anyone has put it quite that bluntly, but it's popped up a few times. I am much more excited about this marriage, and I think that's the important part. I found a true partner. This will not be the "best day of our lives". If it is, then we did something wrong. It's an important event, but hopefully we have many far happier days ahead of us.
Posted by annie912[/QUOTE]
All that matters is that you found an amazing guy that treats you well! You don't need to worry about the people that think, "aren't you afraid this one is going to fail too?" They are just jealous at your happiness...
[QUOTE]I am. My first one, I was still at a point in my life where any little thing sent me into a tailspin. I was so worried about what everyone else thought that I second-guessed every little thing. Would my MIL like these bows? Are they too poofy? Will people think the cake is too plain? Yeah, I haven't seen this person since I was 5, but if I don't invite them, will my second-cousin twice removed be offended? Looking back now, I find it humorous how much I let things get to me! :) This time around, I feel like I know myself better. I know FI better and he knows himself. We're paying for everything ourselves and don't feel like we have to invite people out of obligation. Instead, we're having a small wedding that is uniquely us. We're having only our closest friends and family there, the people who geninuinely want to celebrate with us. We're not planning anything overly formal or stressful and we're focused more on the years after than just on this one day. So yeah...I am more excited about this wedding! I don't have the same kind of anxiety over whether everything will be perfect or not. In fact, I'm not even worried if it will rain. If it does, we'll just have our small ceremony inside our home and it will make for an interesting story. :) I can' t imagine me able to have had that attitude last time around. I wish I'd been that mature back then, but then I probably wouldn't have learned everything I did.
Posted by boaznruth[/QUOTE]
I love your attitude! I think you'll have a lot more fun at this wedding then worrying about bows hahaha.
I seem to be more happy and more in love this time around. I love the feeling I get when I think about us and going through the plans. The only problem I have ran into so far is that my family is more conservative then Mikes and the alcohol issue is going to be stressful. But it all boils down to us and that is all I am concerened about this time around. I am no longer pleasing anyone but US. and I am as happy as ever.
This time I'm happy in love and cant wait! I have a real wedding to plan. Suprisingly everyone is very supportive of us having a big wedding. I think its probably because we did our weddings backwards, and we're so unique the fact that we found each other has really suprised people around us. I'm so happy and excited, I'm not worried about I have to do this for my child.
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Second was a simple handfasting...no planning.
This wedding is special, I have a partner who cares as much about the day as I do. And I am so much calmer, even though this wedding will be the biggest and fanciest.
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My second wedding was a lot smaller (and, for those of you, like POPPow, that a big wedding=a real wedding, it does NOT), on the beach, just the two of us. The ceremony itself was a lot more meaningful to me, as I wasn't trying to fit myself into a religion that I didn't really identify with. And have I mentioned that my identity was stolen and I found out by going to the bank on my wedding day to find all my accounts had been emptied? Yep, good times, good times.
[QUOTE]I'm the outlier here, but that's not unusual in my life. I was really excited about the first one, but my first husband suffered a head injury just after our 5 year anniversary mark--changed his personality, and our marriage. It was like I woke up one morning with a different husband, except I didn't get to choose this time, and frankly, this was NOT what I bargained for. After 12 years of trying to make it work, we parted amicably. My second wedding was a lot smaller (and, for those of you, like POPPow, that a big wedding=a real wedding, it does NOT), on the beach, just the two of us. The ceremony itself was a lot more meaningful to me, as I wasn't trying to fit myself into a religion that I didn't really identify with. <strong>And have I mentioned that my identity was stolen and I found out by going to the bank on my wedding day to find all my accounts had been emptied? Yep, good times, good times. </strong>
Posted by handfast4me[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>That sucks, Hand! </div><div>
</div><div>I wanted a small wedding, but FI has never been married and wanted a traditional Catholic wedding. So that's what we are going with, otherwise I wanted to do something on Lake Pontchartrain in New Orleans, where we both grew up.</div><div>
</div><div>I think that small, intimate weddings are beautiful.
</div>
My FI actually decided to plan the exact wedding I wanted the first time I got married so I am beyond excited. I love that he figured this out on his own and had no idea it was what I really wanted. The last time I got vetoed by the now ex-husband because it was "too much work" to plan a beach house wedding and reception. We ended up having an Italian style wedding just like he wanted.
This time, I have no stress about it at all. We are both very excited about this - counting days until we are husband and wife - FINALLY! The wedding itself is done. All that is left is for us to show up on the big day. (I tried on my wedding gown yesterday!!)