Help! Bms taking forever to get measured...

mek20 · December 2011

So as the 6 month mark approaches, I am freaking out because 2 of my BMs are procrastinating to get measured for their dresses.

They are OOT, but all they need to do is get measured, and then call the store around here. The dresses take 3-4 months to come in, and my cousins (who are 12 and 15, and are also OOT) need to a) get the dress when they come in, and b) get alterations/fittings. These things take TIME and my bms just are not seeing the importance of getting this done. (FYI: we picked the dresses out the first weekend of OCTOBER....)

As brides, we walk that fine line of being aggresive to get things done, but also not annoying the heck out of people. I have asked several times, and actually offered to call for them (and PAY upfront so they can pay me back). They both have said that they will do it by a certain date. That date has come and gone and now I'm really aggravated!

What more can I say? Am I wrong for being upset? HELP!

Jo&Lo83 · December 2011

Oh dear lord....I haven't even picked my BM dresses yet. Wow....okay, I really need to get my butt in gear with this.

MMRoberts11 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_bms-taking-forever-measured?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:c0efca81-8e99-42f0-bfda-5bf0f3933a92Post:33c05fa1-876b-4be7-b3ae-e650630e204c">Re: Help! Bms taking forever to get measured...</a>:
[QUOTE]I would confront them and ask why they have not done it yet. Too busy? Money? Forgetful? I would stress that they need to get it done ASAP for the reasons you listed above and give them another deadline...like January 1st, so that they have a few weeks to plan/budget/whatever but it will still be done soon enough. The first step in solving any issue is understanding where the other person is coming from, then you can address the real problem at hand. Good luck!
Posted by Shanee18[/QUOTE]

This. Definitely give them a deadline.

MMRoberts11 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_bms-taking-forever-measured?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:c0efca81-8e99-42f0-bfda-5bf0f3933a92Post:33c05fa1-876b-4be7-b3ae-e650630e204c">Re: Help! Bms taking forever to get measured...</a>:
[QUOTE]I would confront them and ask why they have not done it yet. Too busy? Money? Forgetful? I would stress that they need to get it done ASAP for the reasons you listed above and give them another deadline...like January 1st, so that they have a few weeks to plan/budget/whatever but it will still be done soon enough. The first step in solving any issue is understanding where the other person is coming from, then you can address the real problem at hand. Good luck!
Posted by Shanee18[/QUOTE]

This. Definitely give them a deadline.

kelsey+brandon · December 2011

I also suggest giving them a deadline. That's what I did for all my girls and they did a good job of getting their stuff in (at least a couple of days after). I know it's frustrating, but even if they say 3-4 months, I'm sure it won't take that long. I'm getting mine from Amsale and they originally said 5 months. We're placing the order on Monday and they're expected to get here the first week of March.

diamondx423 · December 2011

We picked out dresses in September and the store said they needed to be ordered by Nov 15. Three girls went on Nov 15th to do it. It annoyed me that they waited, but it got done by the deadline.

Ash61612 · December 2011

What was the deadline you gave them?

Shanee18 · December 2011

I would confront them and ask why they have not done it yet. Too busy? Money? Forgetful? I would stress that they need to get it done ASAP for the reasons you listed above and give them another deadline...like January 1st, so that they have a few weeks to plan/budget/whatever but it will still be done soon enough. The first step in solving any issue is understanding where the other person is coming from, then you can address the real problem at hand.

Good luck!

JGreenfan2000 · December 2011

tell your bm that if they do not get measured by this date then they will not be able to fit and they might be "falling out" of there dresses. If that does not work say that it cost more to have alterations done right before the wedding then it does to take an hour to get measured.

Ash61612 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_bms-taking-forever-measured?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:c0efca81-8e99-42f0-bfda-5bf0f3933a92Post:33c05fa1-876b-4be7-b3ae-e650630e204c">Re: Help! Bms taking forever to get measured...</a>:
[QUOTE]I would confront them and ask why they have not done it yet. Too busy? Money? Forgetful? I would stress that they need to get it done ASAP for the reasons you listed above and give them another deadline...like January 1st, so that they have a few weeks to plan/budget/whatever but it will still be done soon enough. The first step in solving any issue is understanding where the other person is coming from, then you can address the real problem at hand. Good luck!
Posted by Shanee18[/QUOTE]

<div>agree. I would kindly remind them that they missed the first deadline</div>

Jean6912 · December 2011

I am so sorry you are having this problem with your bms, but honestly I'm glad it's not just me. I just finally got them all to agree to go get measured by Friday or they will have to pay extra for a rush order. I'm taking the kill them with kindness approach but being firm that this has to be done this week (as told by the bridal store). Like pp mentioned I would try and figure out why they are waiting and go from there. If it's a time issue then I would worry about them having time or caring enough to be in your bp, it might be that they were waiting to be more in shape or it could be a financial issue. Whatever it is they need to tell you and keep communication flowing, this is what I ask my ladies to do so if there is a problem I can try to help fix it. I totally agree with you about that fine line we as brides walk when it comes to getting things done. Good luck!!!

midgetthemighty · December 2011

Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one not freaking out over BM dresses. Two out of my six BMs have ordered their dresses and both of them came to the store in less than a month. I told my BMs February-March would be fine to order them by.

HarperBargo · December 2011

Remember it is the Holidays and everyone's life is more busy, stressful, and hectic. I suggest communicating with them either on the phone or in person. Try to find out why they didn't do it. As PP said there are number of reasons for why they missed the first deadline (personal issues, financial, ect). If this really becomes an issue lay everything out on the line such as the price of rush order or alterations and then set a hard deadline...that if they don't do it by the new deadline they take themselves out of the WP.

eltar08 · December 2011

I would take the, "In order to be in the wedding, you need to get a dress ordered by x so it can be altered and ready for the wedding on Y" tact - if they don't get it done, then it's on them for their actions which would lead to them not being in the wedding.

I had my FSIL telling me I was being too planny when I asked her to go with her daughter (Jr. BM) to pick out a dress by January because that's what DB recommended - I was growing tired of every excuse in the book as to why we should wait till Feb or March (it'll be too $$ right after Christmas (mind you the dresses I looked at are between $80-$100 and they pretty much begged to be in the wedding knowing there was this cost associated with it), we don't know what the sports schedule looks like for this time of year so we can't plan everything, it doesn't take that long for the dress to come in, etc.) At the end of the day, for me personally, it wasn't worth the added stress of trying to get her to commit to a plan. Since we're having such a small ceremony to begin with and already moved our wedding date for this family to attend, if they couldn't take the need to plan a little bit for my wedding into account, then they will need to reap the consequences. I know it sounds heartless, and luckily they came around so I didn't have to explicitly say it, but I did feel better knowing that was how I felt about the situation.

foreverurz23 · December 2011

One of my girls is procrastinating on getting her dress becuase shes trying to get pregnant.......grrrr

Shelly527IN · December 2011

My MOH wouldn't try on the dress when we went to DB...says she's the same size as her sister (another BM). I don't thinik so. Fiance and I are about to take her ourselves and make her try on the dress. I am paying for it afterall!

lindseyann410 · December 2011

I still haven't even looked at BM dresses yet. I'm not too worried about it.

If you're concerned they won't come in on time if they wait too long, give a deadline according to when the store says is the latest they can order them without paying for rush shipping.

mek20 · December 2011

Thanks everyone!

My original deadline was thanksgiving. (one of them is a senior in college, so we have crazy schedules, but she didnt didnt have school over this time, so I thought ok, everyone can just get measured quick and call and be done with it).

They each told me on many different occasions "Oh, by this friday I will", and no dice.

I knew it wasnt for financial reasons...one of them just booked a 4 day trip to Alaska, "just becacuse"...

The reason I am freaking out mostly is for my cousins, and because the store we are ordering from (who is a family friend) said that the brand Alexia are known to have late orders, and they do not want to risk it, and with the alterations (and OF COURSE, i chose that brand for my dresses!!)

Update: One of them did it yesterday! So only one more to go...I will not bother her though this week because it is her finals, and I would kill someone who did that to me!!

Ebarr22 · December 2011

I just had the same issue.
One thing you could do is ask the woman at the bridal shop call her and ask her if she has her measurements nicely explaining she is the last one and they are waiting to order them... that way you don't have to nag her again. hope this helps

Help! Bms taking forever to get measured...

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