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Caterer has gone crazy

This is the first post I have ever done, my wedding is February 20, 2010; and my friend is a baker, and she caters on the side also. Well she told me and my FI that if we helped her by setting up weddings and serving food, she would cook our food for free and all we would have to do is buy the food. I thought this was a great idea. So, for the past 4 months sometimes every saturday, or every other saturday me and my FI have spent 4 to 6 hours "volunteering" so we would have a good deal on our food and the cakes. Well, my friend started calling my FI and asking him to pick up mattresses, or put together tables, and he did it for maybe gas money or she would bake a birthday cake for him. Well, she asked if he would be ale to paint the inside of her house, and he said yes. Well, when he told her a price she says well I could have got someone to do it way cheaper than that, after all I'm doing your wedding for free. I feel uncomfortable now, and I want to find someone else to cater. What do you think??

Re: Caterer has gone crazy

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    Find someone else.  IMO, this is why most of the time having friends as vendors is not a good idea.

    Just tell her thank you but you've decided to go with someone else.  She'll probably be pissed and you'll lose all the time you volunteered but at least you'll have someone that isn't taking advantage of you.
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    I agree, this is a good example of why using friends is a bad idea.  Since you've already put in so much time helping her, I would try talking to her before you just write her off.  Maybe try sitting down with her with an itemized list of how much you guys have helped her, dates and hours, and let her know that you feel that you're even now and she should stop asking you to do things.  If she doesn't agree, then you might want to consider finding someone else to cater your wedding.  Keep in mind this may really affect your friendship though, so you need to be prepared for that.
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    I spoke to my friend, and she she "said" she would still do our arrangement, but I can't trust that maybe she won't do as good a job as she might have if this had not happened. This day is too important for people to have attitudes or do sloppy work because they think you owe them something. I am in the process of finding a new caterer and a new baker. Thank you for your advise.

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    Good luck!
    Try not to let anyone ruin your day, it's too big a deal to spend all that money and time planning to have someone make you wish you hadn't bothered!
    She'll probably be pissed, but if your friendship is strong, she'll get over it eventually.
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    Business is business.  If she is in breach of the verbal contract you made with her, she can't be trusted.  I'm sure as a friend, she's a lovely person, but she's obviously not a great businesswoman, or all of these arrangements would have been made more clear.

    Get someone new.  This is a stress you don't need on your wedding.
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    exactly... no time for the nonsense. business is definately business. find a new caterer and go from there.
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    edited December 2009
    Find someone else ASAP. She's taking advantage of you.
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    If you decide to stick with her (or even if you go with someone else)- get more than a verbal contract- get it in writing! If she's any sort of businesswoman, she will understand that this is perfectly acceptable and completely necessary for such an affair.  That would be the perfect opportunity to also spell out what kind of discount you and your husband have earned through your helping her.
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    ..thats why you cant do business with friends  :(   You are going to have to spend a little more but at least you know you will get a quality product. Its worth the money
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    definitely find another caterer. You don't want anyone or anything spoiling your special day.  I'm in the middle of planning and found a caterer/event planning company that is AMAZING!.  Actually found them here on the knot if you're interested...I feel like I'm in great hands
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    Find someone else and be done with it.  This is why you really shouldn't rely on friends to provide services for you.  There are always strings attached and feelings will be hurt and boundaries overstepped.  It was nice for her to offer, but you should have politely declined.
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