Not exactly sure where to post this, but since my sister was originally a bridesmaid, I will do it here.
My sister and I got along pretty well as kids... or at least when I was a kid, as she is 10 years older than me. But when I was about 20 some family drama went down that included her disowning me. I thought it was related to her husband, who never seemed to like me and sure enough, when they got a divorce she tried to mend the relationship and since she is my sister I was happy about this.
Well, fast forward to my engagement. I asked her to be a bridesmaid... Our relationship isn't what it used to be, but I was a bridesmaid in her wedding so I thought I would return the favor. Then she started taking things into her own hands. She started to try to tell me how to plan my wedding and, how to manipulate my mother into giving me the wedding I want. I didn't agree with her approaches, told her such, and the next thing you know she is disowning me again. I told her that was pretty drastic and she responded, "I don't deal with idiots"
I can understand where she might think she has advice for me. She is older than me and has already been through her own wedding. (Even though she is already divorced) But this is MY wedding, so shouldn't I plan it as I want to? I gladly took all of her advice and was never mean about it, I just told her I wanted to do things differently. But oh well... now she doesn't talk to me, even in family group settings, and I was not even invited to Thanksgiving dinner last year at her house about a 5 hour drive away when the rest of my family was. I was unemployed at the time and could have easily made it down there, and I know she knew this. My mother also knew this and didn't even invite me along either, I was very hurt.
We haven't even spoken about it, but I think it is pretty clear she stepped down from her bridesmaid position when she disowned me. Plus, as this is the second time she has done this I wouldn't want her up there with me anyway as she has now shown her true character.
The real issue, is that she has 2 daughters. I still want them in my wedding, and my sister also told my MOH she still wants them in the wedding. It is coming time to start picking out flower girl and junior bridesmaids dresses for them, but since she won't acknowledge me I don't know how to go about doing this. I'm picking the colors for the bridal party dresses, but am leaving the dress pick up to all my girls, so do I just tell my mom/MOH what the colors are and have her convey the message to my sister? Or any other suggestions?
I also do not want her ex husband anywhere near my wedding... they have started seeing each other again and. My mother tried to tell me that if she wanted to bring him as a date that was her choice, but it is MY weddind celebration and I do not want him there to ruin it, so I think it is actually my choice. If this comes up, how do I handle it?
