Community› Cultural Wedding Boards› Jewish Weddings
Jewish Weddings
New Discussion
Options

How Does This Work Exactly?

Jeni35Jeni35 member
First Comment
in Jewish Weddings
Hello all! As some may know, we recently moved to the east coast from LA. We found a shul that we will be joining so that's great. Our rabbi is coming from LA to marry us, which is great as well. Yesterday, the rabbi of the new shul offered his services and to have the service in the main chapel. That is pretty awesome; but there's an open invitation that all congregants are invited to attend the religious ceremony. I would be thrilled to share our special moment with new friends; however it is not in our budget to serve 150 plus people for the dinner reception, when we've been planning at most around 30 people. I've been told that you can serve cookies, cake and punch after the ceremony as a token of good will and appreciation for those who attended. Then the people are invited will go to the reception. I am unsure of the correctness on this and I am hoping some of you can let me know from experience. Thanks everyone!
Report Reply to Post

Re: How Does This Work Exactly?

  • Options
    masteralephmasteraleph member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    "I've been told that you can serve cookies, cake and punch after the ceremony as a token of good will and appreciation for those who attended."

    Instead of doing that, perhaps you can serve them before?  Even if you're not doing a traditional kabbalat panim/bedeken, there's no reason not to serve a cocktail hour beforehand.  That would presumably eliminate some of the awkwardness of having a separate reception after, with guests trying to figure out when to leave or how to sneak off to the reception.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Jeni35Jeni35 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    That's a good idea. We will be doing the bedeken and a mutual kabbalt panim. So many options and I have such little time to figure out. I heard back from hte lady at the temple who is assisting and she stated it was not unusual to invite the shul to attend the ceremony as a special event and not to worry about the after; but I know how I feel and how I worry! :)
    Report Reply
  • Options
    reebsreebsreebsreebs member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Can you ask the synagague's representative how many people in the community typically show up? For my bat mitzvah we were required to invite the community (through an announcement in the Temple Bullitian) but I don't think anyone actually came.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Jeni35Jeni35 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I am def going to do that and am currently waiting for a response. I am excited that we have this opportunity and everyone really does seem very friendly.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    2dBride2dBride member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If you are sending people individual invitations, then they should be invited to the reception.  However, if there is just an announcement to the whole congregation that they are welcome to attend, they do not need to be invited to the reception.  If you want to serve cake and cookies, that's fine, but it isn't mandatory.
    Anniversary
    Our wedding bio page (including vendor reviews) and items for sale
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Jeni35Jeni35 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks everyone! That is exactly what the lady at the shul told me too! We will have a kosher cake and punch for everyone who attends; but the invited will come to the reception. I feel much better- everything is finally (and I do mean finally falling into place!!!).
    Report Reply
  • Options
    slbriz34slbriz34
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Our president said the same thing and we didn't have a problem inviting the community, though our reception was somewhere else by invite only.  When the day came, no one came except our guests.
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards