Wording question

concara86 · May 2011

We're wanting to have a potluck type reception and have guests bring something. How do I word that and where do I put it in? Should I put it as part of the RSVP card and assign food (ie bring main dish, desert, etc)?

ahhhitsshannyn · May 2011

I will say this as nice as possible, but please do not do this. You do not have to do anything fancy, but at least provide enough food for everyone.

Mrs.B6302007 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wording-question-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2fc8b19d-c20d-43a5-a81e-baa94130ed46Post:42685ce5-084f-4f9e-acb3-19bac5138404">Wording question</a>:
[QUOTE]We're wanting to have a potluck type reception and have guests bring something. How do I word that and where do I put it in? <strong>Should I put it as part of the RSVP card and assign food (ie bring main dish, desert, etc)?</strong>
Posted by concara86[/QUOTE]

Nope. Guests shouldn't be providing the food at the reception YOU'RE hosting for them.

pantherRN · May 2011

Potluck is not a good idea. Your guests should not have to bring their own food to a party you are hosting and there are health concerns as well. There isn't a good way to keep hot food, hot and to keep cold food, cold. And a lot of people have horrible food sensitivities as well. What if Aunt Sally bakes her chocolate chip cookies on te same pan she made her peanut butter cookies on and little Johnny, who may have an allergy, eats one?

A cheap alternative is to cater barbecue, it's usually about $8-$13 per person, depending on your area.

Edit: clarity

TheFutureMrsFreckles · May 2011

Oh I cannot say this enough, and hate to say it...please, please do not.

Yes, it's your day and yes it's about the love and not what people think...but if this is truly a wedding and not a celebration of your vows (ie backyward bbq after city hall)....This is technically rude.

HOWEVER I get that there are budgets. I would suggest discussing your menu with several CLOSE friends and family; between those ppl you should be able to feed everyone. Have several ppl do apps, several do the main dishes, etc. like close family and the bridal party.

I totally get that potlucks seem like a necessity but I assure you there are cheap ways to do this without appearing thoughtless. The fact that you are unsure of how to word the invitation is enough to show it shouldn't happen (technically, your guest's meal is supposed to 'pay them' for their wedding gift to you, hence the tackiness). And trust me, too many ppl could show up with nothing at all regardless of what they communicate...then you're dealing with bitterness and hunger amongst your guests.

I really do hope this helps, and I know that with organization you can do a potluck and it won't be tacky at all! Or scrap it and go with apps.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · May 2011

The reason you're having trouble wording it is that it's rude to ask people to bring a gift, which, for all intents and purposes, this would be.

The reception is to host your guests - to recieve them after they do you the favor of witnessing and supporting your marriage. To save money you can pre-make some food that can be served room temp (if it's a small wedding) or just do a cake and punch reception, maybe with a few finger foods like cheese and crackers, at a non-meal time.

Brandiewine11 · May 2011

I totally understand how this would be appealing for budget reasons. However, you should host your guests, not ask them to bring food. If budget is a concern, maybe your mother and aunt have asked if they can help? Have them make the food for everyone. Or just serve cake and punch. Or get barbeque. Don't do potluck.

mica178 · May 2011

I strongly suggest that you figure out a way to host your guests rather than potluck. How about just cake and punch? That could be very inexpensive and will reduce the risk of Aunt Edna's cassarole causing mass food poisoning or Uncle Joe's special dip congealing during the ceremony.

jessicabessica · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wording-question-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2fc8b19d-c20d-43a5-a81e-baa94130ed46Post:962c3234-e919-4176-9fc1-7b8cb5e85991">Re: Wording question</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh I cannot say this enough, and hate to say it...please, please do not. Yes, it's your day and yes it's about the love and not what people think...but <strong>if this is truly a wedding and not a celebration of your vows (ie backyward bbq after city hall)....</strong>This is technically rude. HOWEVER I get that there are budgets. I would suggest discussing your menu with several CLOSE friends and family; between those ppl you should be able to feed everyone. Have several ppl do apps, several do the main dishes, etc. like close family and the bridal party. I totally get that potlucks seem like a necessity but I assure you there are cheap ways to do this without appearing thoughtless. The fact that you are unsure of how to word the invitation is enough to show it shouldn't happen (technically, your guest's meal is supposed to 'pay them' for their wedding gift to you, hence the tackiness). And trust me, too many ppl could show up with nothing at all regardless of what they communicate...then you're dealing with bitterness and hunger amongst your guests. I really do hope this helps, and I know that with organization you can do a potluck and it won't be tacky at all! Or scrap it and go with apps.
Posted by TheFutureMrsFreckles[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Um, what?

</div>

Loopyseven · May 2011

OP don't do this. It's really rude to request someone bring something to a party you are hosting. There is absolutely nothing wrong with hosting just cake and punch, appetizers and cocktails, casual barbeque if that's what you can afford.

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