if you went ALONE to wed..... family reactions?

Re: if you went ALONE to wed..... family reactions?

• Meg&Austin member

  

  October 2012

  My dad and stepmom love to travel so they are crazy excited. Sister, hubby and baby can't wait. Mom and stepdad not very happy, pull some guilt trips about imp family not being there. What they don't get is we would be fine with just us so not to be mean but don't really care. Stepdad hates to travel. FI mom and dad. Again with guilt trips. He has 3 brothers two just had babies and one in school to become a physician assistant so none of them can afford to go. FI says it doesn't bug him tho. We are having a AHR tho for people to celebrate with us, see pics/ video that helps people feel better! Sorry to hear your getting some grief. Kinda comes with the territory of a DW it seems. If It's truly what you want and don't mind people not being there just remember It's what YOU and FI want!!

  

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• outerbanks+2012 member

  

  October 2012

  We are going away just the two of us, no guests.  I am 37 and he is 40.  Neither one of us has been married before but since we are at the age we are, we didnt want to do the traditional chuch wedding.  There are some family dynamics on both our sides that helped us make the decision to go at it alone.  While my parents were disappointed they do understand.  The one thing I can say is that this day has to be about the both of you and only you.  We tried all angles to include only parents, sisters and brothers and a close group of friends but it quickly became about everyone else and making sure they were happy.  In the end this is our decision and we are more than happy with it and will have no regrets.  We will come back and have a party a few months later where we can invite whomever we want and wont have to worry about who to include and who not.  
  
  Trust me on this, do not let other peoples views or opions change how you feel.  Its about you and only you

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• 2Charm member

  

  October 2012

  thank you both.  you make me feel a little better.  i have been crying all day over this. i am very close with my family.  but this is for ME!!!!!  they dont get it.  think i will have to explain to my mom ALLLLL of the reasoning behind it for her to even be 'ok' with the idea.
  
  just so upset.
  
  

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• cevans11

  

  October 2012

  Maybe an AHR would be a good compromise? No ceremony or anything, but just a chance for people to see pictures, and celebrate your new marriage with you. It can be as few or as many people as you want, and as formal or informal as you want.

  
  

  You said your family is close, so I assume they're just upset because they want to share the day with you. 

  

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• BMcLeodTeam member

  

  October 2012

  As cevans said, maybe having an AHR would be a suitable comprimise. That way she can celebrate with you when you return

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• amorg334 member

  

  October 2012

  My parents both sets were okay with whatever we are doing.  In fact my mom and grandparents and stepdad will be there but they were also okay if they didnt come 

  

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• LiLe422 member

  

  October 2012

  FI and I are having a "just us" wedding.  My parents basically said to do whatever makes us happy.  His parents were bummed but they seem to be okay with it now.  My sister and his brother have both admitted being disappointed but they understand where were coming from.  Our friends think its awesome!
  I get the most resistance from acquaintances and the like.  My one customer asked me if I hate my family.  Not that its any of his business, but that is so far from the truth.  We have people who barely know us trying to change our minds about going alone. 
  I say, you have to do what makes you most happy.  I knew FI and I wanted a small dw.  It was totally unrealistic for our immediate families to come with us so we decided to go, just the two of us, and then follow up with a AHR when we get home.  So far, so good!

  
  

  
  
  

  

  
  
  

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