Father/Daughter Slide show Timing

mandy1023 · April 2011

My father has passed away, but in his honour I would like to make a slide show inplace of our father/daughter dance. I want to know the best timing for this. When should I show this slide show so it fits in with the night. I think some people may get a little emotional, so I want to make sure it doesn't sadden the room too much. I feel like timing is everything!

jerseydevil · April 2011

Personally, I am not a fan of slide shows at all. On top of that, that sounds extremely emotional and I wouldn't do that. Especially if it has been in the past few years.

Sorry for your loss, I'm not sure when/if there is good timing for that.

cschuma2 · April 2011

Ditto pp. Weddings are supposed to be joyous and happy occasions. Showing a slideshow like this will only bring people down and upset those closest to your father. Do you feel sad when you think about your father missing from your wedding and the rest of your life? I'm assuming yes. Now multiply that emotion by 50. With everything going on, you will be more emotional than ever before. Don't put yourself in that position. I'm sure that your father would not want you crying over him at your reception. Instead, how about you include a special prayer, memorial candle, a message in your wedding programs, or carry a small picture of him in your bouquet? All of these are much less in-your-face and likely won't upset you and your guests. However, everyone will know that you are thinking about him and honoring him on your wedding day.

FutureJilliannD · April 2011

I don't think that there is a time when you can do this without saddening everyone too much. There are lots of meaningful ways to honor your father. Examples: carry a locket with his photo in your bouquet or wear one, play a song that he loved during the reception, wear some heirloom of his or have your FI wear one, etc. etc.

mandy1023 · April 2011

I appreciate your thoughts, but I have thought about this a lot. I am doing a slide show, so if you have a suggestion as to timing, please let me know
THANKS!

MelissaAnne88 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_fatherdaughter-slide-show-timing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:5ac6a96c-0e47-4f48-83d0-75ac6997fae7Post:f512e00b-ece8-434a-ba87-5dd03833e4bf">Re: Father/Daughter Slide show Timing</a>:
[QUOTE]I appreciate your thoughts, but I have thought about this a lot. I am doing a slide show, so if you have a suggestion as to timing, please let me know THANKS!
Posted by mandy1023[/QUOTE]
Have you talked to your mom about it? Your grandparents? Aunts/uncles? Your siblings? Have you asked them how they feel about having a slideshow at the wedding? It's important to take their feelings into consideration. While it might not bring you down, it's really not all about you. So please consider your family's feelings before insisting that you do the slideshow.

MelissaAnne88 · April 2011

And honestly, no matter what "time" you do the slideshow, it's still going to bring everyone down. So I'm pretty sure timing isn't that big of an issue...

belle249 · April 2011

It will be sad but at the same time if that is what you want then go for it! I would suggest do his slide show that then goes into a slide show of you, friends, family, and your FI friends family, then just your FI and you together. Sure it may start out sad but if you follow it with something fun right away people can laugh off the sadness.

mandy1023 · April 2011

absolutely! I plan on the show being more based on family than just focused on my father. I really want something that feels more alive than just a picture in a frame. I think showing a slideshow of family pictures and home videos will remind everyone that he is there in spirit. I have spoke with my mom and sister about it and they both think it is a good idea. I believe if done correctly it may bring a tear to someone's eye but the happy memories of my dad will be in the room. I just haven't been to many weddings and can't seem to think of a time to show it. I know that in theory it would take the place of the father daughter dance, but not sure if I should have it show after the speeches or after our first dance or what?...
I appreciate how everyone feels, and please understand everyone's situation is different... my dad was a very animated person who filled the room at parties and such. I don't want him to be remembered as a picture on that day!! Everyone will always have an opinion, but that is not what I am looking for here.

suedoyle · April 2011

Could you ask a male family member (uncle, brother) to dance with you in place of your father while you play the slide-show? Keep it short - maybe not even the whole song. Yeah, you will cry, and so will others, but by keeping it short and up-beat, you won't get lost in a long memorial. Ideally, end the slide show with a pic of your dad and your FI -- and have the FI take over the dance then (like your dad might have placed your hand in his at the ceremony).

jerseydevil · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_fatherdaughter-slide-show-timing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:5ac6a96c-0e47-4f48-83d0-75ac6997fae7Post:f1b655cc-0edb-4569-81c0-3cf8afc4ee8c">Re: Father/Daughter Slide show Timing</a>:
[QUOTE]Could you ask a male family member (uncle, brother) to dance with you in place of your father while you play the slide-show? Keep it short - maybe not even the whole song. Yeah, you will cry, and so will others, but by keeping it short and up-beat, you won't get lost in a long memorial. Ideally, end the slide show with a pic of your dad and your FI -- and have the FI take over the dance then (like your dad might have placed your hand in his at the ceremony).
Posted by suedoyle[/QUOTE]

If you absolutely, positively will do it anyway, please consider this suggestion. That way it is not the only thing showing and the mood will probably be lighter. Your FI taking over the dance would be a really cute, warm moment.

staceymhanson · April 2011

Go for it! as for timing talk to your dj about this, i may be a sad but yet happy momment because if you have silly pictures of your father and family it might also bring laughter!

ARB51183 · April 2011

Wow, some people are so quick to judge and force their opinion on others! Mandy- if you want to do a slide show, then do it! You are certainly able to make your own choice concerning your own wedding. I went to a wedding once where the mothers or both the bride and goom had passed away and they did a special tribute to them at the reception. It was sad and a lot of people were crying, but it definitely didn't ruin the atmosphere of the party.

I can't offer advice as far as timing since I don't really know what your slideshow will look like, but I'm sure you will figure out the perfect moment to show it. Good luck and I hope it all turns out how you plan!

mandy1023 · April 2011

Thanks for the support ARB. I feel the same way... funny thing is, I never asked "should I do a slide show." I just asked about timing, and I get all these opinions shoved down my throat! Anyway, thanks for speaking out. I really appreciate some positive feed back

Stacey- excellent Suggestion! I will ask my DJ... I never even thought of that!

jerseydevil · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_fatherdaughter-slide-show-timing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:5ac6a96c-0e47-4f48-83d0-75ac6997fae7Post:50b2c7a1-1b9a-4ac4-b02a-aa4f88c239e5">Re: Father/Daughter Slide show Timing</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks for the support ARB. I feel the same way... funny thing is, I never asked "should I do a slide show." I just asked about timing, and I get all these opinions shoved down my throat! Anyway, thanks for speaking out. I really appreciate some positive feed back :) Stacey- excellent Suggestion! I will ask my DJ... I never even thought of that!
Posted by mandy1023[/QUOTE]

Nobody shoved opinions down your throat. When you post on a PUBLIC message board, people are going to give their two cents whether it's something you agree with or not. You don't have to take any of the advice you are given.

Good luck with your planning!

MelissaAnne88 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_fatherdaughter-slide-show-timing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:5ac6a96c-0e47-4f48-83d0-75ac6997fae7Post:056909e1-52e2-45bf-b8ac-f1b82b64fd65">Re: Father/Daughter Slide show Timing</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Father/Daughter Slide show Timing : Funny thing is, this is a public message board. You're going to get opinions you don't want. Your question was 'what is a good time to show this that won't be so sad and bring everyone down so much?" Answer: There isn't one. So, if you still want to do it, that's gravy. But you did actually technically get the answer to your question. It's just not the answer you wanted.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]
Yeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

HockeyFan4 · April 2011

i would suggest maybe doing a dance with your mom during the traditional father/daughter dance and play the slide show during your dance.

bertke10 · April 2011

I think it's a sweet idea. i would do it when the father.daughter dance would usually be. I would focus on keeping it SHORT AND SWEET. Give people the warm fuzzies without giving them time to break down and cry. Aim for less than one minute, about half a song, and I agree with above posters - dance with a fatherly figure during, and have your (then) husband take over at the end.
Stick to funny and cute pictures as well!
Another note on length, I work in traffic engineering - we aim for stoplight waits to be under 30 seconds, because at the 30 second mark, people start to get impatient. I would keep it between 30 seconds and a minute long. Don't give people time to get sad. Your dad doesn't want to dominate your day, but I bet he sure is proud you are mentioning him!

Father/Daughter Slide show Timing

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