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BM issues

lyar915lyar915 member
100 Comments
in African American Weddings
Okay ladies need to vent!! First let me say hi again it has been awhile since I have been here. Here is the situation my lovely older sister is giving me the blues and I haven't official set the date yet (paid deposit). I too quickly asked her to be a BM and she has accepted. I knew when i asked that I would constantly have to be on top of her with everything ie reminding of important dates and such. She is totally not happy for me she has been engaged for 5 years and her relationship status is it complicated. So yes my bad but I wanted all my sisters in my wedding.. I have a daughter who just made 1 in December invited her to her only niece party and of course she did not show up nor has she called me since this has occurred.This is only a tiny preview of our interesting relationship. She can mess me over but my daughter Hell no!!!  This is so typical of her. Yet ,I try to have a positive relationship with her and she always disappoints. i see this as a preview of my wedding. She is going to stress me out!!! I can't take my request back can I???? LOL!!!!


Signing off too quick to ask bride 
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Re: BM issues

  • rodeo417rodeo417
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    First thing take a deep breath... Now if you go to any other board and ask them the same question they are gonna tell you no....However me personally i say if they are gonna stress you during the whole time and make you unhappy then yes remove her...But you need to talk to her first and see what the heck is her problem... There is no need to take this out on a little girl that wanted her auntie at her birthday party... See if you can get to the root of the problem and nip it or her in the butt.. Good luck...
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  • lil01lil01
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011

    I agree with pp. You should talk to her to see if she even still wants to be a BM. Because of her own relationship issues, she may feel jealous because it looks like you"ll be married before her. Sorry she's taking her issues out on you & your daughter. Good luck & I hope she can get it together before its too late.

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  • prncszprncsz member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I agree with pp's
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  • eagles347eagles347
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    If she's going to stress you, do what you have to do.

    My opinion may be in the minority, but I would say not to rush to that decision. Sometimes, we have too many expectations of other people with regards to our wedding. Have you asked why she didn't make it to the party and let her know how that made you feel? I'm certain that your 1-year old would have enjoyed her being there, but at 1, it is doubtful so maybe y'all can put this behind you. I'm just confused as to how that ties in to her being a part of your wedding.

    Hope this doesn't sound harsh. I may just not really understand. I just answered based on the limited information in your post.

    I hope you feel better about all of this soon though.
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