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SmallenForever · March 2013

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AJuliaNJ · March 2013

You are not wrong AT ALL. I wouldn't want to help pay for a wedding I'm not even invited to either. I've never heard of people asking for people to contribute to their wedding anyway. It's supposed to be a thank you to your guests for attending. This is ridiculous even for people that are invited.

zizibet · March 2013

It would turn me off too-but these are your H's friends and he wants to, so I'd do it anyway. Just be glad you aren't invited.
I've seen the blog thing-I think it's in vogue right now.

loca4pook · March 2013

If you aren't invited to the wedding, there isn't a need to send a gift. It would be nice gesture but not necessary at all.

I agree the paypal account is tacky

lyndausvi · March 2013

I don't think you are wrong, but your DH wants to still send a gift. I suggest because he wants to send the gift he should do all the work. Or just send them a picturer frame, a bottle of wine or something.

AJuliaNJ · March 2013

I was so taken aback by the first part of your post that I missed the part where you said your husband wants to give them a gift anyway. I wouldn't want to, but if they are his friends and it won't break the bank, it's not really worth arguing about. I'd probably want to purposely buy them a gift though so the money wouldn't go to the wedding I wasn't invited to.

Simply Fated · March 2013

You're not wrong. That would leave a bad taste in my mouth, too. I'd leave it up to my husband and hopefully he'll choose a physical gift instead of putting money into the paypal account.

Lizzieyounce · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_is-it-wrong-that-i-no-longer-want-to-send-a-gift?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:cef9edf6-9f25-4f4f-8e4c-8a1921516e14Post:c96bd466-3a45-42bb-ae8d-6d79643486ef">Re: is it wrong that I no longer want to send a gift?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think a big ceramic chicken would be a lovely wedding gift.
Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>A monogrammed ceramic chicken.</div>

jessicabessica · March 2013

A lot of people are ok with honeymoon registries, paypal links, etc., and I think you just need to not let it get to you IRL. It's fine to steer people in the right direction that post on here or otherwise ask your advice, but there's no sense getting worked up over this couple's rudeness.

I think it's fine not to send anything, but if your H wants to send something, he can go for it (unless you think he'd make a paypal donation, in which case you should volunteer to buy a $20 gift online and be done with it...at least that's what I would do).

Jen4948 · March 2013

I don't think you're wrong. It would bother me too. It comes across as very grabby.

If your H wants to send them something, a card would be fine. You don't "owe" them any more than that.

Amyzen83 · March 2013

Wow! After hearing the you weren't invited to the wedding, I was thinking "Gift is not necessary" although I think it was very gracious of you to still want to get your friend one, but seeing that they want a wedding fund????? If they are asking for people to contribute to THEIR wedding, then they should have an endless guest list and not cut anybody out, especially if they are treating it like a concert where you pay for your seat! Totally joking btw! That's inappropriate of them! I get the hunnymoon funds, especially since more people are already either living together before their married or on their own and pretty settled. So I can see not wanting a bunch of extra stuff you don't need, and wanting some extra cash for the HM. But the wedding itself?? Sorry bride and groom, unless you are having your parents help financially, you are otherwise on your own with that one!

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