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African American Weddings

big or small wedding?

that is the question. what are you having?

after much consideration and going over the budget with our DW. we're more than likely going to have 10 or less ppl, close family and friends come with us to mexico for a small symbolic ceremony at the adults only resort we are staying at.

we reserved a wedding package but are adding some details of our own. we want to have the cake done here in dallas, but having it sent to mexico? im not sure how that works. or if thats even possible.

whenever i think big wedding i think more money, so i guess im  a little cheap too lol. but the 3 things we didnt skimp on were the rings, my dress and the resort that cost us an arm and a leg.

smaller to me equals more intimate. but if i had the money to go BIG, i might have.

how many ppl are you planning to invite?

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Re: big or small wedding?

  • edited December 2011
    I wish we would have went small or eloped lol. We both have big families. When we started the guest list it was way over 200, darn near 300. And that was family, not including friends. So we tried to scale it down. We are now at 155. With a lot of family members that are mad at us and threatening to come anyway. So I guess we're down to a medium wedding. lol
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  • edited December 2011

    Our guestlist currently is at 230~240 and we need to be between 200-210 max. Fiance has a large family but he wants to invite people that he barely knows. Ex: fbil is getting married in a few weeks, he wants to invite his mil. No! I do agree bigger guestlist= more problems, more money, and mor_________(fill in the blank)



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  • amberlynnedamberlynned member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We are expecting somewhere around 200 people. It started out huge (300+), but due to things coming up, family illnesses, money problems, etc. we're expecting to lose about 100+ people. Overall, I like that we are doing a big wedding, but can also appreciate (and sometimes wish for) smaller weddings. :)
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  • edited December 2011
    We always knew that we only wanted about 100 people! So that is what we are working with no matter what people say.
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  • adgenyaadgenya member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Too many! Our guest list started really large and then we cut, cut, cut, but somehow it ballooned to 225 people. Hopefully we stay in the 180-200 range. I originally wanted 150-175 people. FI was a different story and our current number is our compromise.
  • edited December 2011
    We are kind of doing both. We are legally marrying in Las Vegas. My FI wants a super small wedding so Vegas works for him because it will only maybe be a couple friends of mine, my mom, and maybe his parents.

    I have a HUGE family and so many people know me thru my mom so most of the guest list is hers. When we get back from Vegas our actual wedding day wedding will be pretty big. At least 200+ want to be invited, but we can only have just over 150+ at the venue. So plus the wedding party it might be 160ish.

    Luckily when it comes to a lot of things I know so many people who work in the wedding industry to cut some of the major costs. My mom is paying for it all, but she also is a caterer and so food has always been taken care of. My aunt makes wedding cakes so she is making our cake as a wedding gift. My mom's friend's husband is a Videoagrapher and one of my good friends is a photographer. My mom also has done wedding planning so she knows AMAZING ways to cut costs.  The church is free because my best friend's dad is the Assistant Pastor.

    I think the biggest splurge has been my dress, which I'm so happy I'm getting the dress I fell in love with.
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  • edited December 2011
    well our intial estimate is for 200 people....i really don't want to go over 250....but we will see when the rsvp's start pouring in
  • cincy2011cincy2011 member
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    edited December 2011
    medium size - 150 (hopefully only about 120 will show!)
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  • edited December 2011
    Were having a small destination wedding in Las Vegas.  We only invited 20 people.  The problem with the destination wedding is planning it from afar, regardless of how many people are attending.  Two weeks after the wedding we are having a reception for about 100 people - which in itself is starting to be a headache. Alas, I'm getting married in 16 days, so it's all water under the bridge :-)
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  • mnm729mnm729 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I was hoping for something more intimate, but we ended up inviting ~250 (that is after making some cuts) and our room holds about 210 max.  I am the first girl to get married on both sides of my family, so it just got out of control!  The invitations went out on Friday and I am praying for some declines to start coming in! 
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  • edited December 2011



    We started off planning a midium wedding  of  about 120 poeple,However, I realized I do not like my family and did not want to spend 10000 on poeple who complains and would not appeciate our union . So now we are planing a vegas wedding with only 15-20 guest. I can have evrything I want and surrounded by poeple who care about us.
  • prncszprncsz member
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    edited December 2011
    We started out with a estimate of about 300 people but once I started looking that the cost of feeding that many people at around 25 dollars a plate or more that had to change drastically. I personally would like 150 people FI and my mom both think a good number is 200-250. When I told my mom 150 and she had 50 guest she and her husband could invite she said what that's not including family right? I said total family, friends, etc whoever you are inviting. She said no we have increase that. I don't care I'm paying for the food so guess what 150 it will be. We will probably invite about 175-200 with the hopes that the other 50 won't show!
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  • edited December 2011
    Well, I guess it depends on your definition of small, medium, and large.  We started with the idea of an intimate wedding with 50 guests....LMBO!! FIs list was 50 plus while mine was around 20 (this includes our mutual friends).  So, we are now around 100 at last count..please don't make me go into the whole A, B list thing.  All in all, I believe we will have around 80 at the wedding...let's just say AAW Knotties give some really good suggestions;)  I mean really, great uncle man man who has not seen you since you were 5 and does not drive?  For real, we have to pay for him to see you?? 

    I digress, small wedding.
  • edited December 2011
    Intially we wanted no more than 100..but of course the list has grown to 160 invited. I think we will end up around 140..but who knows..
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  • ufsweetiebearufsweetiebear member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Ha... originally, we wanted 100 guests and planned to send out 160 invitations. But once our save-the-dates went out, people were angry, hurt and full of drama. It got exhausting and now we're up to inviting 250 people to save our sanity. Since all his family will have to travel cross-country, we're really only expecting 150 to show.

    Unfortunately, having a small wedding just wasn't in the cards for us.
  • ktrntrryktrntrry member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Me and my FI want no more than 80. However, my lovely mother thinks we should raise it to 150. The venue can fit 150 (max) but we don't want to fill the room with tables. We were thinking about going to Vegas b/c are count would have been less than 60.
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    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Initially when we stared planning we said we didn't want to go over 45 total guests. We ended up with 35 people which was perfect.  We had a chance to talk to everyone and people got an opportunity to really connect with other guests.  It was fun and intimate just what we had envisioned.  
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