Fiance's siblings

sweet_melissa81 · December 2011

Just curious... how many of you get along with your fiance's siblings?

My fiance is an identical twin and I sometimes don't understand his relationship with his twin brother (he has no other siblings) because I have a younger brother who is 5 years younger than me.

I have noticed that same sex siblings interact far more differently than siblings who are the opposite sex.

I think my future brother in law is actually a great guy, but there a times when I absolutely cannot stand his bad attitude.

For instance, last year we went to get a carry out order from Pei Wei for my fiance's family (his parents, his brother, him and myself) and the wait was a half-hour and he ended up eating something because he said it took us too long. We called to tell them how long the wait was and when we got there with the food he had an attitude, wouldn't sit at the kitchen table, and just sat in the chair in the living room and messed with his iphone. Then when we went to visit him this summer in DC, he started acting really annoyed with everyone on the fourth day that we were there and when fiance and I wanted to go off on our own and meet back up with the family, he said, "don't be late, I'm not going to wait around for you!" It really pissed me off. He called my fiance fat while we were there, he got really short and sat around like a bump on a log. Mind you when he comes home, my fiance carts him all over the place and he never has cash on him and gets fiance to pay for everything. His brother is very financially stable, but ridulously cheap. He wouldn't even buy any food to stock his house when we came. A jug of water in a brita filter and box of weat things and condiments were the only thing he had in his house. He is a bachelor, so I have to give him some slack on that. Sometimes he's funny and nice, but you never know what you're going to get because sometimes he is so rude it makes me uncomfortable.

midgedenver · December 2011

I'm sorry to hear that your FI's twin is unpredictable. I hope it gets better for you after the wedding.
Luckily, FI only has one sister and she is 16 right now. We get along really well, part of it being that we have been together so long and so I've been able to be a big sister to her.

Shanee18 · December 2011

Ugggh I just typed up a response and it got eaten by TK so here is my shortened version.

Fi is the oldest of 3 boys; the other two are 20 and 24. I get along great with the youngest. He is kind of a mini-Fi and most of the times seems to be mature despite the 6 year age gap.

On the other hand, middle brother is not my type of person. He is sarcastic and constantly puts other people down because of his low self-esteem. He is stubborn and immature, and makes really terrible choices that have a detrimental impact on his life. He is living with us currently, which also adds to the stress and strained relationship. He currently owes me around $600 which he "can't pay yet," but he is constantly bringing his gf out to dinner and movies and maxing out his credit card. I just found out that he bought her some coach shoes, but yet he is telling people he is giving them IOU's for Christmas gifts... The good news is he is trying to move out and will hopefully be gone soon! He's not a bad guy, just too immature and irresponsible for my liking...

kipnus · December 2011

FI just has one brother (older), who I'll be meeting for the first time in 10 days. He's married and lives in Michigan. It will be interesting to see how they interact--I've been privy to their online gaming sessions and i-phone calls...

FI gets along just fine with my four younger siblings (two sisters and two brothers), which I am thankful for!

khafner2 · December 2011

FI is one of 7 children...his dad has 3 older sons (they're all in their 40's), his mom has 3 kids (all in their 30's) and together they have FI (26). His older siblings (from his dad) are really wierd around him and treat him more like a long lost friend instead of a brother. We live 5 hrs from them and only see them occasionally. FI's siblings from his mom I get along great with (we live in Oregon and so does another brother, his sister lives in CA, and his brother lives in TX). The only exception is his sister-inlaw that lives here. I hate her with a passion (I don't really say that about anyone but she is horrible). She's very rude, calls my twins (her nephews) it's or things, tells my daughter she can't play with her cousins, etc.

misstomrstodr · December 2011

Glad to know I'm not the only one who doesn't get along with the FSIL/FBIL... my FH's brother is 3 years older than him, and while he used to be cool years prior (supposedly) he's really flaky, unreliable and caught up in his own stuff (thinks about himself way before he thinks of other people). When he acts like a jerk, his mother complains and complains to my FH which is a bummer because it puts him in a grumpy mood (who wants to hear their mother constantly complain about their sibling?) He is in the bridal party, but I think he's a schmuck. He recently added some fuel to an unnecessary fire started by a very emotional FMIL...which was unnecessary. I had been giving him a second chance to act like a brother who gave a crap to my FH, and he lost it at that point. They're getting on better terms and being closer, but I have no use for him.In regards to my FSIL, she is a mooch (borrows money from people and never pays them back, cannot keep a job and is almost 30, has stolen from her father multiple times, is technically a dependent of her father because she can't take care of herself) but she at least has a good heart (even though her morals are questionable). I want her involved in the wedding in some way but absolutely not in the bridal party. Still trying to figure out how that is going to work...

But all in all your future hubby's twin sounds a lot like my FH's older brother.... can be cool but the rudeness and my FBIL's selfishness is just intolerable and annoying.

drewmw · December 2011

My FI is the oldest of 5. His youngest sibs are 5 and 6, so it's impossible to not get along with them

He has one sister who's 20 that is absolutey crazy. Like, legit crazy. She tells their family that my fiance is mean to me and abusive, and that our marriage will not last. All of that is really far from the truth! I've actually only met this sister three times, because she lives in SD. She had a falling out with my fiance a little over a year ago, so I think she's just bad mouthing our relationship to get back at him. It drives me crazy.

jaime10285 · December 2011

FI has 2 younger brothers, 21 and 22. The youngest one has a lot of disabilities so some of our interactions are different but we get along. When I first started dating FI, his youngest brother wouldn't talk to me (he's extremely uncomfortable around people he doesn't know) but now we talk. He asks me scripted repetitive questions, "How's school going? Busy?" but we chat. The 22 year old and I have gotten closer mostly because FI and him have gotten closer. He made choices when we was younger that I didn't agree with and he seemed to have no motivation. He's now enrolled in school (and taking it seriously!) and seems to be coming around. We're definitely different but we get along fine.

kaitlyn142 · December 2011

FI has one younger brother. He's... 24? I think. In med school. We get along alright. I barely know him and vice versa. Mostly we are just coming from completely opposite world views, so it makes it hard to connect. Though he is suprisingly cool about my propensity to drunk text him.

MMRoberts11 · December 2011

I have a very strong dislike for my FBIL due to some of the choices he has made in life. He has lost all my respect and I wouldn't complain if I never saw him again.
Long story short, he does drugs with his now wife - weed, smokes like a chimney, and drinks mass amounts of alcohol (even while she was pregnant), whines about everything, complains how hard life is (she's a stay at home mom who is unable to keep a job past 3 days and he can't keep a job longer than 3 months because he always does something stupid to get fired), and complains how they always have no money (but goes out to dinner often, spend it on games and movies, junk food, drugs, and tattoos).
Oh yeah, and where ever they go when other family are around they think family will voluntarily watch the kid so they can smoke, eat, and chat with others. They are terrible parents to their son.

Edit: I feel I should also add that he's 35 and she's 34.

chelseakopperud · December 2011

FI's family is amazing..... they have accepted me and Carter with open arms. They are SO supportive and I couldn't ask to be marrying into a better family. FI's dad even picks Carter up from preschool twice a week and brings him to daycare. They are all so caring and compassionate.

FI is the middle child. He has an older brother and sister and a younger brother and sister. I get along with all of them and they are all in the wedding.

Megbo2012 · December 2011

FI has 2 younger brothers, one is 24? and in law school at Duke. The other is 22 and used to go to my school but transferred. He has the best dog in the world, and lives at home.

The one at Duke's girlfriend is my good friend and one of my bridesmaids. He can be a little difficult and likes to tease me a lot but he's also a runner (as is she) so we all have a lot in common.

The youngest is really chill and laid back and pretty much doesn't care. He can tease too but in general he's on the internet playing video games and playing with the dog

kelsey+brandon · December 2011

FI has one sister and she's 3 years older than she is. We get along fine, we just don't have that much in common and we're both at very different stages in our life. She got pregnant at 18, then married at 19 and has a 10 year old son. She never left their very small hometown either. It's not that we don't like/love each other, we just don't really have many common interests excpet for FI being her brother and we're both Christians (except very different denominations).

laurabub · December 2011

My FI has one brother and and 2 step brothers and 2 step sisters (which he considers them all the same...never calls them step brother/sister). I love them all! They are a really fun/happy family and love to get together often. My family has recently moved away in the last two years and I am SOOOOOO grateful that I have his family nearby. Actually they remind me of my family (loud/crazy/family oriented) which makes me love them even more!

HarperBargo · December 2011

My FI has a brother that is 5 years younger then FI. We get along fairly well. My only issues now with him is that they (FBIL and FSIL) are expected their first child. I am happy for them but I'm getting sick of all the baby talk as well as our lives are suppose to stop for this child. FBIL wants us to move from Cincy to Orlando to be "hands on aunt and uncle." Not to mention they feel we should have a baby right away so our children can be close in age. It drives me up a wall! (Vent over)

squarepeg72 · December 2011

FH has a step soter on year younger than him and a half-brother 10 years younger, but he always calls them his brother & sister and the step and half never really matter. His brother almost died as a baby (born with a diphramatic hernea) and spend 3 months in the hospital but they get along great. his sister came to live with them a year after his mom married her dad (who he calls his dad too ... blood is not everything needed to be someone's dad - sorry - mini rant over) I get along great with both of them. I love his family and they have taken me and my three in with open arms ... FMIL keeps trying to talk us in to eloping but FH thinks she secretly wants the wedding but worries about the finances ...

franklissa · December 2011

My fiance has a great family. He has one sister who is a year older than him so she's 27. then he has an older brother that is my around my age, he's 36, He had a brother that was 2 years younger than that who would be 34 but he was killed in a car accident a year and a half ago. That has been very hard on the whole family, he was a incredible person. Then there is "the baby" who is his younger brother that is 19. They have all always been so welcoming to me as well as my children. I could ask to be marrying into a better family.

Jean6912 · December 2011

Fi has one sister who is 6 years older, we have a rocky relationship but at times so does fi with his sister. I'm not going to go into details of all the craziness but she causes a lot of drama and trouble among fi and his family and when it comes to the wedding she makes everything 10x mire stressful. She also at times has it out for me but we are trying to work it out and when I say we I mean me. Melissa you are absolutely right, same sex siblings do act differently and to me have a closer relationship. I am the youngest of 3 girls (we have no brothers) and I get along with my one sister more then the other. I think it's because my oldest sister is 9 years older then me, where as with my other sister we are almost 5 years apart. The two of us are really close and can communicate without talking it's like we are twins born 5 years apart (which I think bothers fi a little). People always confuse us on the phone including parents, and my fi. I hope your fi's brother's attitude gets better, he could be feeling jealous that your fi found the one and he hasn't. The twins I know are very competitive and right now he's down one. Also he isn't gonna change, and he isn't going to make an effort unless it comes from your fi or his parents. Good luck!

sweet_melissa81 · December 2011

I don't really hate my fbil, but his attitude at times makes me uncomfortable to be around him. He has a PhD in physics, so he really hasn't had any time until now to really start dating. He seems to have found a girl that he really likes, but he doesn't share any details with anyone except his close friends in the DC area where he lives. Dating only now started to become important. I don't think he's jealous that his twin is getting married and not him. I just think he's a brat at times.

He did tell my fiance that he liked me better than anyone he's ever dated and approved of us getting married, so I can't hate on him too much. Sometimes the way he behaves rubs me the wrong way when he is mean to my fiance. I guess that's just a brotherly thing!

Fiance's siblings

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