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Planning Your Own Bachelorette Party??

andreaw10andreaw10 member
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in Pre-wedding Parties
OK, So here is the deal...I know that it is the MOH's responsibility to plan the Bachelorette Party, but I want to know if it would be rude to tell her what I want?  I'm not the clubbing type who wants to go out, get drunk, and stare at half-naked men.  I'd rather have a girls night out...Maybe rent a lake house for a night and go to the spa =)  However, I do know that this idea is a bit more pricey than the traditional party.  I plan on paying for part of it but hope that my other bridesmaids will pitch in as well.  Do you think it would be rude to suggest what I want or should I just let them plan the whole thing and be a surprise?? Thanks!! 
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Re: Planning Your Own Bachelorette Party??

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    AmeliaAndSeth8890AmeliaAndSeth8890 member
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    edited December 2011
    I think you can suggest your vision/idea, but you don't "plan" anything. It's understandable that you don't want the movie version of a bachelorette party and it's okay to express this to her. If she doesn't know already, she will appreciate knowing rather than planning something you (and your BM's maybe?) won't enjoy.

    If it's going to be pricey, you could also suggest that she tell everyone that they can each pay for themselves? That includes you paying for yourself as well OR they can all pitch in and pay for yours as a gift. But that is completely up to them if they want to.




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    SeptemberFall2011SeptemberFall2011 member
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    edited December 2011
    when i was a moh i went by the brides likes and dislikes...she loved the party...esp the part where it was grandma friendly because she was extremely close to her grandma and wanted her involved...weird soundin-yes. but true!  hope that your bridesmaids know you well enough to plan the perfect party for you!
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    marissa_clairemarissa_claire member
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    edited December 2011
    My MOH made it a surprise (ha, I totally would have been open to a male stripper, btw) but if I didn't trust her to know my tastes I might have asked her beforehand what was going to happen.  This might not be the best option for everyone.  

    On that note, FI's mom planned a shower for me but with the usual Italian food they have at every family thing (all stuff I don't like) so I'm a little miffed in hindsight that she didn't think to do other stuff, knowing that I usually eat like a bird at family festivities.  Hopefully your MOH will be a gracious host and put your interests and needs first, but I wouldn't help her plan it.  If you want to one thing off-limits, that would be okay, but I wouldn't say "the only thing we can do is..." 
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    kittenweekskittenweeks
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    edited December 2011
    I've just posted my own thread about this...

    Over here in the UK, I've not heard of a single bride who hasn't had a word in her own hen do (as we call them). Whether it's a night on the town or a weekend away, the bride has always, always put her oar in to steer it towards something she won't weep at the memory of.

    For the two times I've been a maid of honour, the first the bride asked for a day at the races (but not in London where we live), so we hired a cute cottage and bundled in for a long weekend. The other time, the bride herself insisted on planning it, with me assisting on details such as timings and late night transport home.

    So, for the sake of your own sanity, there is no harm at all in taking the British route and just say you've "always wanted to get away with the girls to relax before the big day, maybe a lake house, a day spa, something like that...!"

    If she's worth her salt, she'll listen, and you won't end up with an oiled fireman grinding on your lap...!

    Oh, and as someone sensibly suggested - when you split costs it gets cheaper.
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    deepcovejackiedeepcovejackie
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    edited December 2011
    I think it's fine to tell them your preference, if they ask.  Destination bachelor parties are expensive, so that suggestion should really be initiated by your hosts.
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