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Great Grandmas Veil Crisis

jackybuettgenjackybuettgen member
First Comment
in Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum
I am having a bit of a family crisis and need some feedback please.  I am planning on wearing a veil that has been passed down through our family and every single female on my dad's side of the family has worn it.  It has a very intricate antique lace edge on the front and then has a satin ribbon trim on the back.  I have loved it since the first time I saw my grandmas wedding pictures.  Every person who has worn it has stayed married to their husband until "death do us part".  It is incredibly sentimental to me...all sounds fine and dandy. 

My mother, who is divorced from this side of the family, proceeded to tell me that the veil is "so ugly" and doesn't go with my dress at all.  She thinks that it would be ridiculous to wear it because it won't match my dress at all.  I was planning on only wearing it during the ceremony, but my feelings are pretty hurt by my mom.  Am I just being a crazy bride or is it ok to wear this family heirloom regardless of whether or not it matches...  sorry for the rambling, I just don't know where to turn.
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Re: Great Grandmas Veil Crisis

  • MeggiemugginsMeggiemuggins
    10 Comments
    Wear the veil!  Many brides would kill to have such a wonderful family heiloom.  You could even put something in your program about how many women have worn it and how they've all had long, happy marriages.  Who cares if it matches your dress or not?  you'll have the love of all those other couples with you on your wedding day.
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  • DramaGeekDramaGeek member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    Wear it!  Can you post your dress and a picture of the veil?  Maybe we can make you feel better about how they look together - and I think the history of the veil is super awesom.  Definitely mention it in the program, I think your guests will find that very interesting.
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  • AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited June 2011
    Wear the veil.

    I'd take your mom's advice with a grain of salt - you never know what else is coloring her opinion of the veil (I know nothing about the divorce, her feelings on your father's famly, etc.)

    Tell her this is important to you and that's that.

    Not exactly the same thing, but I didn't want to wear a veil.  My mom clutched her pearls at this and said I was being silly.  I stood my ground and on my wedding day she said, "You were so right about the veil!"

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  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Wear it.  Sounds like your mom is a bit bitter and may not want the other side of your family to have that much recognition.

    If it were me, my Pastor/Officient would be saying a few words about the history and meaning of your veil.  I'm sure everyone would love to know its' history.
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Sounds like sour grapes to me. Shame on your mom for trying to take away from the sentimentality of that beautiful heirloom veil.
    You should wear it and it would be nice to either ask the officiate to explain it's significance or put a note in the program. Do you know who the first bride who wore it was?

                       
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  • jackybuettgenjackybuettgen member
    First Comment
    Thank you so much everyone.  That is a great idea about the program.  That will definetly help explain it without it being a big deal.  
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  • beckyjason10beckyjason10 member
    10 Comments
    If it has been your dream to wear this veil, then you should wear it.  Like you said, maybe only wear it for the ceremony.  I agree with the others, either in the program or before the vows tell the history of "the happiness" of the veil.
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  • Cynthiajt1Cynthiajt1
    Second Anniversary 10 Comments 5 Love Its
    it sounds beautiful...Wear it :-)
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