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July 2012 Weddings
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Flower Girl Vent-Sorry, kinda long

owengirl996owengirl996 member
Sixth Anniversary 500 Comments
in July 2012 Weddings
Really, it's more about her mother! I asked her if her daughter would want to be a FG or a JBM a while ago...probably October or so. She'd talked to her and said she'd love to be a FG. (FG is a distant cousin, but her mom is no longer married to her dad, which is the blood relative. I used to babysit her from age 0-6 so I was really close with her. She's 10 now.)

I have a second FG (FI's Goddaughter), and the original dress I'd found was close to $200. The second FG's mom was totally fine with it, and I threw it out there for first FG's mom, but she said it was too much. Totally understandable, so we found one for more like $60. Both were good with that, but it required ordering online.

First FG's mom sent me a message on Facebook May 14th asking when the wedding was again :/ (she had a STD!) So I told her, and she said ok, she will order the dress now. I haven't heard a peep since!!! The only phone number I have is disconnected, so I have no other way to reach out to her other than FB. I sent a message June 14th asking if all was good with the dress, and asking if she wants to have FG's hair done with everyone else. No response. So I messaged her again Monday to mention I didn't have an RSVP yet and to find out who of her family of 4 is coming. No response as of last night. So I messaged her one last time (no more after this), to find out if FG is still able to be in the wedding, and I understand if not, I just need to know asap.

Still no response this morning. I was trying to give her an "out" with that last email. I REALLLLLLY would like to know if she's going to be there or not! I won't be mad if not, but I'd like to save myself $40 on her pomander if she's not going to be there, and see if I can still remove her from the program. I already have gifts and such for her, but that's no big deal, other than her personalized tote, I can give some to the other FG lol

What would you do? At what point should I write it off that she's not going to be there? The day of the rehearsal I guess? I feel bad sending so many messages, but I just really need to know if she'll show or not. I realize she may still respond to my last message, but I am starting to feel a little stress from this. More like...why won't she respond to me?? She still posts on FB, so surely she is seeing my messages??

Thanks for listening :)
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Re: Flower Girl Vent-Sorry, kinda long

  • butterflyjumper1butterflyjumper1
    1000 Comments
    WOW! this is a really annoying and frustrating situation for you.... Do you have a phone number? email address? work phone number? sometimes my facebook messages don't show up as notifications on my phone, perhaps she missed the messages somehow?

    I think you need to try to actually get a response from this woman before removing her daughter from the wedding, just in case she actually does have the dress and is planning to be there. This is a really annoying situation for you - I hope you can get it resolved ASAP!
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  • michelle11988michelle11988 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary

    Does any in your family have a working phone number for her? Do you have an email address for her? I sent one of my friends text messages and facebook messages for 2 months asking for an address with no response.  He just got in touch with me yesterday(!) and apologized but the messages never showed up in his facebook and he changed his cell phone number.  Also if you see her posting maybe send her something on her wall that says "hey I need to talk to you about my upcoming wedding can you please get in touch with me, I will send you a message with how to contact me?"


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  • owengirl996owengirl996 member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Comments
    Yea, I was considering posting on her public wall. It's just, in the past, she's always responded to my messages right away, but I guess that doesn't mean she IS seeing them. I am definitely not taking her out/off of anything until she tells me she's not coming. Otherwise, we will just plan like she'll be there. I don't have an email address/phone number, but I am going to look around her Facebook a little more, I might be able to find one. Also, she works for the city's newspaper, so I will look around on there to see if I can find any way to contact her. I just hate "stalking" her at work.
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  • honeybear072012honeybear072012
    100 Comments First Anniversary
    Try posting a message on her wall asking her to check her messages.  Try something like,

    "It's getting so close to the wedding and we're getting really excited.  I sent you a PM about some of the details and questions I had if you could get back to me please!"

    She can't not get a wall post but I know I've had problems with PMs on facebook.
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  • arunkumararunkumar
    100 Comments
    I would prepare for her and her daughter to not be there. I'd leave the FG out the program and not plan on her getting her hair done, but still maybe get a pomander in case she does come.

    I'm sure your venue will make enough entrees if they do show up, but I wouldn't count her in your final headcount either.

    Call her at work if you have to. Don't feel bad about it since she's not responding to any messages. I wonder if she didn't purchase the FG's dress and doesn't want to have to tell you? I can't see why she would ignore you otherwise.
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  • owengirl996owengirl996 member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_flower-girl-vent-sorry-kinda-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:e3bb80c8-6101-4dc8-876a-3412eac4581dPost:3dd7fe93-2e7e-49ce-bcf1-c0d01559a276">Re: Flower Girl Vent-Sorry, kinda long</a>:
    [QUOTE]I would prepare for her and her daughter to not be there. I'd leave the FG out the program and not plan on her getting her hair done, but still maybe get a pomander in case she does come. I'm sure your venue will make enough entrees if they do show up, but I wouldn't count her in your final headcount either. Call her at work if you have to. Don't feel bad about it since she's not responding to any messages. I wonder if she didn't purchase the FG's dress and doesn't want to have to tell you? I can't see why she would ignore you otherwise.
    Posted by arunkumar[/QUOTE]

    Yea, FI is really set on taking her out of the program. I did go ahead and post on her mom's FB wall telling her I needed to speak with her ASAP, but if I don't hear from her by tonight, I may see if I can get her name off the program still...I was still against taking it off, but it's one opinion FI has, so he wins lol

    My guess also was that she didn't have a dress...but the place we are ordering from seems like they are in stock (or tell you if they are on backorder), so if she really cared, I'm sure she could get it rush shipped. Heck, 2 weeks may even be enough time to get it regular shipped! I will have to go look at the site in case that comes up as a problem, so I can offer a solution. I think I'm just feeling kind of hurt with being ignored, more than anything :( I'm still holding out hope she, for some reason, isn't getting her FB messages. We'll see! (or not! lol)
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  • Carla1019Carla1019
    1000 Comments
    edited June 2012

    I agree with leaving a FB wall post but don't talk about your wedding. Just say you have been trying to contact her and to please call you asap. Also see if another family member has her contact info.

    Give her 24 hours and then remove the flower girl from the program and headcount. I'm sorry you are going through this but in my opinion if you are having problems with people being responsive before the wedding you are going to have other problems the day of the wedding.

    Wedding date July 7, 2012
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  • owengirl996owengirl996 member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Comments
    I finally got a response- she's not going to be there. It was a decent reason, but I'm still a little upset I had to hound her before being told. Oh well, I think I can still get her off the program, and nobody will ever know! I guess that Facebook wall message worked...thanks girls :)
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