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future sister-in-law unvited me to wedding (UPDATE)

smilygrl17smilygrl17
100 Comments
in Chit Chat
The wedding was last night. I still had been uninvited though her mother, her sister, our future brother in law, and many more relatives, told me that I should still go. Since she didn't want me there, I decided not to go. However, after the ceremony I went to stop in for a few minutes to say hello to a few people (it was an orthodox jewish wedding,so after the ceremony the bride and groom have a few minutes alone, so I knew this time was 'safe' to go since I wouldn't bump into her.) The people who told me to go were excited I was there and thought the issue was resolved, but I told them I was just coming to wish them congratulations and then I was leaving. It was really hard for me to leave but thats what she wanted.
Thanks to those that left comments on the other post!
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Re: future sister-in-law unvited me to wedding (UPDATE)

  • futurepivkofuturepivko member
    1000 Comments
    wow. in the end, it sounds like you were the bigger person, and people will see what she had done. the fact that you said it was hard to leave tells how strong you are and how much you did really want to be there for them.



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  • Tula214Tula214 member
    Ninth Anniversary 100 Comments
    I remember your post. I think you did the right thing.
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  • M&R7111M&R7111
    500 Comments
    I agree, you were the bigger person.

    Question:  did you ever find out what "thing" you "did" that apparently caused this whole mess?  I've been forever curious. 
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  • megk8ozmegk8oz member
    2500 Comments
    I'm confused ... how did you "wish them congratulations" (Something that entails speaking to the bride and groom) and completely avoid the bride (Who is the person that didn't want you there) at the same time?

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  • LD1970LD1970 member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_future-sister-law-unvited-wedding-update?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:4c9f641b-e731-4616-8567-3dd2cd88f10ePost:6d222433-7d01-4f7d-8be6-773c9aee1ab6">Re: future sister-in-law unvited me to wedding (UPDATE)</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm confused ... how did you "wish them congratulations" (Something that entails speaking to the bride and groom) and completely avoid the bride (Who is the person that didn't want you there) at the same time?
    Posted by megk8oz[/QUOTE]
    I think she means she wished the families congratulations.
    You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough. ~Mae West
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  • smilygrl17smilygrl17
    100 Comments
    edited November 2010
    M&R- She told me I was telling people things that she would tell me, but never explained it more, just that I keep doing it. I'm not one to spread rumors about people, not to mention I don't even live in the same town as her anymore or speak to anyone from the town since I have barely been back to visit.Not to mention that though we had been close at one time, since a little before she got engaged (June) she has barely spoken to me. Also, I told her that I had spoken to her sister and another friend of mine (the three of us are close) as well as our future brother in law/his wife, when they first started dating, out of concern for her since the relationship didn't seem right. That was over a year ago, if she said that to me then, I would understand cause yes I was talking about her, but she said that it was more recent stuff, which doesn't make any sense. Our future brother in law had spoken to her and she said she was upset that I told people about an apartment they were looking into getting. Meanwhile, she doesn't talk to me about anything anymore and her mother had been telling people about their future apartment.
    Megk- I wished the families congratulations. Also though, tradition at a Jewish wedding is you basically say Mazal tov to everyone, kinda like saying hello, when you first start talking to them. Also, at a Jewish wedding, after the ceremony, the bride and groom have private time in a room (its called the yichud room). They're totally separated from everyone. I timed it so that I would come at the end of the ceremony so they would be going to the room and everyone would be milling about. After their private time in the room they take pictures (since they don't see eachother before the ceremony, so pictures together are taken now). I knew if I came them I would have time to say my hellos before they came in.

    I was looking at pictures yesterday, it was sad, but I'm sure I'll move on.

    Thanks for everyones comments, here and the other post!
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