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Bridal Shower etiquette question...

rswan412rswan412 member
500 Comments
in Connecticut
Hi everyone- My shower is this Sunday, and I have started recieving gifts at my home. From what I understand: I open these gifts, but do not use them until after the shower, write a thank you note as soon as I recieve them? I had always thought I would just bring them to the shower with me and open them there, regardless of if the person who sent it is attending the shower or not...thoughts??
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Re: Bridal Shower etiquette question...

  • amymaysaamymaysa
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    Are they from people who are attending the shower?

    I thought any gifts received at home, you opened and send thank you note for right away, and then didn't use till after the wedding.

    I would never think to bring them to the shower to open, there will be enough to open there, I would think.
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  • MsDiamondPrincessMsDiamondPrincess member
    Sixth Anniversary 100 Comments
    My shower is this Sunday too!! I think you can wait until after the shower to send it. It's only a matter of days. The only gifts I opened  and sent a thank you note right away for where the ones that came super early, like two months before.
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  • lfreeman24lfreeman24 member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments
    I went to a shower where the bride opened gifts that were shipped to her FMIL's house for the shower and she opened them at the shower even though the people were not there. I thought it was a nice touch.

    However, depending how far away you live from the shower it might not be worth it. I live in Boston and my shower is in CT so I would not be bringing gifts down to open them. I think its a nice touch to send the thank you as soon as you can/right after your shower! 
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  • Vanessa630Vanessa630 member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary
    Right except I don't think you're supposed to use the gifts until after the wedding (not the shower).  I didn't bring any gifts I had received prior to the shower. I actually hadn't thought of this but, IMO, you're going to be opening so many gifts as it is (and it takes SUCH a long time), I wouldn't want to add more to that process. Also, like you said, if you write your thank you's now, you're going to want to have already opened the gift so that you can personalize the thank you.   However, maybe bringing gifts to the shower is a tradition in your family?  Tradition seems to trump etiquette haha. 
    I'm curious about other people's opinions  :)
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  • rswan412rswan412 member
    500 Comments
    I'm curious too! I'm an only child, the last family wedding anyone in my family attended was well over 20 years ago, so there really is no tradition. I just wasn't sure what to do. There are some individuals who cannot make the shower that are dropping gifts off  at FMIL's house...so I'm wondering if it's strange to have theirs at the shower, but not others who sent theirs to me early? I just really don't know. I think it depends how many I get....
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  • Carebear62584Carebear62584 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    I've never seen anybody transport gifts to the shower.  If they left them with someone else to bring to your shower then that's ok, but I don't think you need to bring them to the shower.  I know I personally wouldn't.  There are 80 something people invited to my shower so bringing extra gifts would be too much.  Watching people open a ton of gifts gets boring after a while.  (Sorry, don't anybody flame me for this....I've just been to sooo many bridal and baby showers in the last 5 years). 
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  • Whtara10Whtara10 member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments
    I would say open them, send out thank you's and don't use the items until after the wedding.
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  • rswan412rswan412 member
    500 Comments
    I hate being the center of attention, so I think I'll just leave them at home. Less time opening gifts. I want it to go as quick as possible.
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  • daniellelmilczakdaniellelmilczak member
    100 Comments
    I don't understand the "don't use until after the wedding thing" - can someone explain? Who's going to know that you used something?
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  • c_meahanc_meahan
    100 Comments
    I'm going through the same thing. I was told to aknowldge the person at the shower by saying, and thank you so and so for the pots and pans, and thank you so and so for the duvet cover. So other people know what you got. I think that's what I'm going to do on Saturday.
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  • CTJennyCTJenny member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary
    I have also been told to acknowledge that you received the gifts at the shower, especially if there person is there.  Think about it logistically as well, if someone bought you all of your china for instance and had it shipped to your home (the bridal party did that for my sister's shower), would you bring it? Or if it was a large item?  I would just say "Thanks to my aunt marge who got me knives" etc. 

    I know exactly what you mean about being the center of attention!! I HATE opening gifts in front of people.  Good luck and ENJOY!!! :)
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  • BeabullMomBeabullMom
    100 Comments Second Anniversary
    I believe the ettiquette of not using until after the wedding was supposed to be in case something happened at the last minute and the wedding never happened.  Then the gifts could be sent back.
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