Plus 1 Drama

jinnlinn · July 2010

With my wedding only 5 weeks away I feel it might be to late to do anything but I am upset and need to vent! I realize I must be way to much of a control freak to deal with Plus 1s and I should have not given single people a Guest. It seems a lot of my Single Guests are bringing people I do not want at my wedding!! My FI and I work at the same place so we had a huge number of work people invited, we had to cut the list and that was a hard thing to do. My boss decided to bring this other co-worker as her plus 1 ( I don't really mind this girl but I wouldn't invite her) and my Boss told my Other co-worker( who is invited) to bring this unvited girls husband!!!! So now I have a couple coming to my wedding that I did not invite! I have never even met this woman's husband! None of them even seem to see an issue with this. I know you can't control who people's plus 1s are but come on!! I feel so upset I am paying for these people to attend my wedding when I did not want them their in the 1st place. I have another co-worker bringing their adult son we also work with who is a total weirdo and another guest who might bring this woman who has pretty much been with all the guys we work with ( and their wives hate this girl) I feel like our special day will be filled with more drama than I care to deal with. How do you let go?

emilyinchile · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_plus-1-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:21c24d0a-3eed-4934-bb04-b80a6f0211f5Post:96e8c579-c718-4c51-ab1f-d5712afd7fd9">Plus 1 Drama</a>:
[QUOTE]With my wedding only 5 weeks away I feel it might be to late to do anything but I am upset and need to vent! I realize I must be way to much of a control freak to deal with Plus 1s and I should have not given single people a Guest. It seems a lot of my Single Guests are bringing people I do not want at my wedding!! My FI and I work at the same place so we had a huge number of work people invited, we had to cut the list and that was a hard thing to do. My boss decided to bring this other co-worker as her plus 1 ( I don't really mind this girl but I wouldn't invite her) and my Boss told my Other co-worker( who is invited) to bring this unvited girls husband!!!! So now I have a couple coming to my wedding that I did not invite! I have never even met this woman's husband! None of them even seem to see an issue with this. I know you can't control who people's plus 1s are but come on!! I feel so upset I am paying for these people to attend my wedding when I did not want them their in the 1st place. I have another co-worker bringing their adult son we also work with who is a total weirdo and another guest who might bring this woman who has pretty much been with all the guys we work with ( and their wives hate this girl) I feel like our special day will be filled with more drama than I care to deal with. How do you let go?
Posted by jinnlinn[/QUOTE]

This is silly. You invited single people to bring a guest presumably knowing that those guests would be people you wouldn't otherwise have invited. I really don't see how this creates drama at all, nor do I see why it's such a big freaking deal that two of the guests are part of a couple.

Stackeye210 · July 2010

Other then saying hello when you go around greeting the guests I can probably almost guarantee that you won't notice these people again the entire night.

andy71781 · July 2010

Yes it is too late to revoke the +1s you gave to people and no you can't do anything about it.

Let it go by focusing on the 10 million other things you will probably need to think about before your wedding - including, but not limited to, the fact that you are marrying your future husband.

Simply Fated · July 2010

That does suck, but since there is nothing you can do about it now, just smile politely when you see them, then you can spend the rest of the night not worrying about them.
I've seen this happen a lot at work events... it's one of the problems when the Plus 1 is left open to interpretation.

And lesson learned, because next time, you can attempt to be more specific about the plus 1s. And I mean next time you have an event, not your next wedding. That all sounded better in my head, honest.

quotequeen · July 2010

You let it go by recognizing that nobody did anything wrong in this situation, so there's nothing to get worked up over.

mandysmear · July 2010

That does suck. But, like stacks said, you won't even know they're there. Promise.

redheadfsu · July 2010

I have no idea why this is a problem. They are bringing a guest. Did you not want to know their +1 at all?

arv266 · July 2010

You can stop thinking of this issue as DRAMA.... because it isn't. You can dictate what guest you can invite, but its ridiculous to police and care about who your guest will bring as a date.

jinnlinn · July 2010

All very true and thank you

flutgrl1 · July 2010

why would anyone want to come to your wedding solo?

Why do you care what other people are doing?

Be happy you are getting married and don't be a control freak.

vtbm · July 2010

I don't think you're wrong to be upset at all. I think it's so rude when people just scrape up anyone because they were invited with a guest (unless they don't know many people attending the wedding). In the case of your co-workers, they know each other and should only bring a guest if it's a husband, boyfriend or someone they are dating!

rotella · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_plus-1-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:21c24d0a-3eed-4934-bb04-b80a6f0211f5Post:568ac0ed-afae-4eba-ba21-fc0ce97347fd">Re: Plus 1 Drama</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't think you're wrong to be upset at all. I think it's so rude when people just scrape up anyone because they were invited with a guest (unless they don't know many people attending the wedding). In the case of your co-workers, they know each other and should only bring a guest if it's a husband, boyfriend or someone they are dating!
Posted by vtbm[/QUOTE]

I'd agree with vtbm. Obviously you didn't invite certain co-workers for a reason so it's rude for the invited co-workers to bring them along as their plus 1. I guess you can't un-invite, so you'll just have to stick it out. I'm sure you'll be fine and that day you'll be so happy and having too much fun to even notice the weirdo and the slut are even there.

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