Minnesota-Minneapolis and St. Paul

UPSET about wedding dress! :( :(

 I AM ANGRY.I got engaged last November and bought my dress in November. I felt totally pushed into it, like the salesgirl was just trying to make the sale. I was uncomfortable, but they kept telling me it was perfect for me, and that if I wait too long my dress wont come in time so I need to make the purchase soon. I also wasn't allowed to take a photo in the dress unless i bought it. Now it is August. Last time I tried it on at the end of July, it felt far away from my chest, like I just kept wanting to hold my chest, keeping the dress close to me. This dress is not right for my body. THEY DID NOT WORK WITH ME to try to find the RIGHT dress for MY body. They made assumptions that a pretty dress could be altered every single way I needed it to be. I basically needed a different dress. I am very upset with Macy's, they said it would be great, that it would be altered to fit me, and it does not, and it probably wont. I can not believe I will have two kinds of stuffing to fill in the huge gap in the chest, and that I will need to tape it to myself. I can't believe that in order to make this dress fit me, I have had to foot the bill and pay for alterations that WOULDN'T BE NEEDED if this dress was more appropriate for my body. I AM MAD!!! This feeling has not gone away in 8 months, and I can't take it anymore. If this dress doesn't fit me like a glove on August 19, I don't know what I'm going to do. THEY NEED TO MAKE THIS RIGHT. I can't hold this in anymore. I just want to go over there and scream at the girl who talked me into it, feeding me a bunch of crap about it being altered perfectly, that they can do anything, that it will be great. It has been anything but great. Now, 31 days away from my wedding day, I have THE DRESS, the big white dress, that should be the most amazing dress of my life, and i am totally uncomfortable in it. It feels like it just doesn't fit, and I can guarantee that the alterations they are working on right now will not help. I want to call macy's and see when that lady is going to really finish the stuff she is working on right now, and see if I don't have to wait until the 19th for my next fitting. I can't take this anymore. I want to know this is REALLY going to be ok. 

Re: UPSET about wedding dress! :( :(

  • maybe984maybe984 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Okay... seriously lady... you need to breathe. Just breathe.

    Not many dresses are going to "fit you like a glove" without alterations. Alterations are 100% normal. Not everyone has the exact same dimensions, and dress sizes have to take that into account. Usually, they leave extra room in the bust in any given size (even more so in larger sizes) so that big busted girls don't have to go a bunch of sizes up just to get something that will fit. In most dress styles, it's wayyyyy easier to take the bust in than to take the entire rest of the dress in.

    I have a really hard time believing a sales girl was 'good' enough to sell you a dress you hated... so just relax and try to think of the things you liked about the dress in the first place.

    Unless your alterations lady is a complete idiot, I am a thousand percent sure everything will be fine.
  • jmkaiserjmkaiser member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree with Maybe. The only thing that upset me with the sales of my dress was that they sold me a dess that was way too big because they were scared of it not fitting if I went to my normal size. I had an amazing alterations lady and everything was fine. My dress looked perfect.

    While I'm sorry your upset, you were the boss during that appointment--not the sales girl. If you didn't like the dress you should have spoken up. It's your wedding, your money, and your time. Their only job is to sell you a dress (that's why most work on commission).

    My suggestion is to find a good seamstress, drink a glass of wine, and relax. Everything will work out.
  • edited December 2011
    Hey Deb! Go see my lady - Brenda @ Amazing Alterations in Anoka - she works magic and is very cheap. She may be able to help? Good luck hun!!!! ~Lauren
    12/17/86 - "Once upon a time...." 10/08/11 - "Happily ever after..." imageimageWedding Countdown Ticker White Knot Follow Me on Pinterest
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_upset-wedding-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:81Discussion:cf259b4f-1a6c-4ba5-8f90-509528abdaf4Post:3afe4791-6e23-44ca-91c1-c17158475c99">Re: UPSET about wedding dress! :( :(</a>:
    [QUOTE] While I'm sorry your upset, <strong>you were the boss during that appointment</strong>--not the sales girl. If you didn't like the dress you should have spoken up. It's your wedding, your money, and your time. Their only job is to sell you a dress (that's why most work on commission). My suggestion is to find a good seamstress, drink a glass of wine, and relax. Everything will work out.
    Posted by jmkaiser[/QUOTE]

    This!
  • SSaltzman87SSaltzman87 member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_upset-wedding-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:81Discussion:cf259b4f-1a6c-4ba5-8f90-509528abdaf4Post:5252c801-8794-4c0f-91ae-8ba4cf8c4379">Re: UPSET about wedding dress! :( :(</a>:
    [QUOTE]Okay... seriously lady... you need to breathe. Just breathe. Not many dresses are going to "fit you like a glove" without alterations. Alterations are 100% normal. Not everyone has the exact same dimensions, and dress sizes have to take that into account. Usually, they leave extra room in the bust in any given size (even more so in larger sizes) so that big busted girls don't have to go a bunch of sizes up just to get something that will fit. In most dress styles, it's wayyyyy easier to take the bust in than to take the entire rest of the dress in. I have a really hard time believing a sales girl was 'good' enough to sell you a dress you hated... so just relax and try to think of the things you liked about the dress in the first place. Unless your alterations lady is a complete idiot, I am a thousand percent sure everything will be fine.
    Posted by maybe984[/QUOTE]
    I agree 100%. It's rare to not need alterations for a wedding dress, one of the most common alterations IS in the bust- whether it's letting out or taking in. If they have really talented seamstresses, then they can work magic on your dress.
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  • edited December 2011
    Obviously I am ok with needing alterations, but we have made some seriously insane alterations to the top of this dress so it will fit, and the back is open lace so we cant take in the top without the back buckling.

    ALSO, I know I am the boss with this wedding and I should have been more in control, but I have never gone shopping for a wedding dress, and we all have preconcieved notions of what it will be like, and it was nothing like I had imagined. The sales girl said, "this was made for you, it's perfect." and then in the next room I heard another girl say exactly the same thing to another bride. It made me feel completely duped, like I should have listened to my gut. 

    A week after I bought the dress, I DID speak up and go back to Macy's to express my concern, and I was told, "You could sell it on ebay". I didn't think this was a professional answer, or a helpful one. 

    I haven't just been sitting around stewing for the past 8 months. Macy's is well aware of how I feel, there is just nothing they or anyone can do. Once the dress was purchased, they didn't seem too interested in helping. 

    What really gets to me is that I was told a specific piece of the dress would be able to be removed with no problem. That was not the case. It can not be removed. I was told that the top would fit perfectly and it would not be a problem. Not true. I was told that no matter what I needed or wanted for this dress, the alterations women would make it happen because they work specifically with Demitrios dresses and it won't be an issue. Not true.

    They were not honest, and that is what bothers me the most. 

    @Lauren: Thanks hun :) I appreciate the recommendation. After my next fitting I will see where we are at and look into your alterations gal. I'm glad you are on here. Hope all is well!
  • edited December 2011
    I agree that everything will turn out okay.  You are a pretty girl and I'm sure the dress will make you look like a princess on your day.  Was your family with you when you picked it out - what do they think?  I can't see anyone's family talking them into something that did not have something special about it or that they didn't see as beautiful.   

    My dress I bought this past summer does not seem perfect yet, but I know that alterations are a huge part of just making it more accustomed to your body.  I am a little busty as well, but there are some tricks that can be done to bring the dress closer to you.  I'm having a corset sewn into my dress because of that same issue and it made me feel way more comfortable just knowing that was there.

    It will turn out perfect in the end and I'm sure your husband to be will agree!  :) 
    image
  • edited December 2011
    Deborah:
    I am sorry you had a bad experience with Macy's. That is where I went and we had no complants. (Although I'll be honest and say I can see the potential for poor customer service)  I was torn between two dresses, one they showed me in the store and another I fell in love with in a mag (both demetrios). They didn't have the 2nd but worked really hard to get it there so I could try it on. I knew I was going to pick one of the two so I put down my deposit on the 1st dress, which they allowed me to transfer to another dress. Once you pay in full and it is ordered, you are stuck with the dress. That goes with any bridal salon not just Macy's.

    I would recommend having another alterations person on hand in case the one at Macy's is unable to create your dream look.

    Alterations can sometimes be a long process, so hopefully it works out for you!
    GL!
  • graysquirrelgraysquirrel member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I agree with Shan-- I would try finding another alterations person to do your dress, especially if you are unhappy with the customer service at Macy's (I'm assuming that is where they are working on the dress). A number of us on here have had really good seamstresses that have been able to work wonders. 

    I went to Unique Bridal in Blaine. The woman who runs the place used to be the head designer at some fancy pants salon (the name escapes me now), so she really knows her stuff. They do all of the work in-house, too, while most places contract it out to people in their homes (and wont fess up to it). 

    I wish you luck! 
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  • shainabironshainabiron member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm sorry you're feeling frustrated about your dress experience, especially so close to your wedding.  I had a great experience with the woman who did my alterations.  She was able to complete my alterations (which involved taking my dress in about two sizes and fixing a fair amount of beadwork since I had bought a smaple) in two weeks.

    www.weddingshoppeinc.com/VendorProfile.aspx?ID=6&name=Amy+Jane+Stariha">Amy Jane Stariha
    stariha@comcast.net
    651.276.9492
    1172 Ashland Ave.
    St. Paul, MN 55104

    I really hope everything works out and your dress is everything you could have hoped for on your wedding day :)
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  • edited December 2011
    Thanks Lang125 and Shan87. I appreciate your feedback. I think once I have this last fitting, I might feel better. I am small-busted and it's hard to fill the top of this dress, I don't want to feel like I'm floating around in the top part, I want it to hug me so I feel secure. 

    I went with my mother and father to look at the dress. They both agreed it was a beautiful dress, and it is, but it had a long way to go before fitting my bust. The other thing that freaks me out is that because it has an open lace back, I can not wear an undergarment underneath to hold in my tummy, and I'm soft in the middle, and quite self-consious about it. The dress is thin, and I feel like I can see my tummy. I hate that. I've been working out, but I'm not toning up. The belly remains. I want to feel beautiful on my day. Not self conscious. 

    Everyone seems like they have had a dream experience with their dress, and I wish I felt the same way. I hope in the end it all works out, and my Fiance thinks I look stunning. I just want to take his breath away :)

    Thanks for the feedback, folks. My anxiety was heightened by a dream last night that they couldn't fix my dress, so they gave me a replacement dress that was pink and strapless, the day of my wedding. I woke up at 5am from it. I've got about 30 days until the wedding, and I think I'm just nervous about everything. I hope it all comes together. 
  • newlyseliskinewlyseliski member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_upset-wedding-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:81Discussion:cf259b4f-1a6c-4ba5-8f90-509528abdaf4Post:611a852b-a0ea-4679-be03-ece127ac7bd6">Re: UPSET about wedding dress! :( :(</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thanks Lang125 and Shan87. I appreciate your feedback. I think once I have this last fitting, I might feel better. I am small-busted and it's hard to fill the top of this dress, I don't want to feel like I'm floating around in the top part, I want it to hug me so I feel secure.  I went with my mother and father to look at the dress. They both agreed it was a beautiful dress, and it is, but it had a long way to go before fitting my bust.  
    Posted by DeborahG83[/QUOTE]

    I had the same problem with my strapless dress... only I had my seamstress (Louise Kegley) add a top to the dress to camouflage my lack of endowment and give the added security of having straps :)  My dress also fit horribly when I got it in compared to the sample I had initially tried on!  Pretty sure my bust is a size A- (if that's possible) and it kept slipping down and was all gappy in the wrong places.  I'd also recommend finding another seamstress if you don't feel comfortable with your current one.  Yes, it's last minute... but if someone is available and it gives you confidence and peace of mind, it's totally worth it!  They could also probably help with enhancing the lining and sewing in extra support that could help you shape and hide your tummy if you're not a fan of the current structure of the dress.
  • tpender13tpender13 member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    This is just a thought, but if you still REALLY hate your dress after the alterations have been done, it might not be too late to find something different. I bought a sample dress from DB for about $250, and my seamstress only had it for a couple weeks -- though since I wasn't in a huge rush, she took her time with it. If it's been altered and you still feel really uncomfortable, it might be worth it to just bite the bullet and get something different.
    image
  • edited December 2011
    That sucks about your experience.  I would definitely go to a different alterations person.  I haven't had my fitting yet but I'm scheduled with brenda from Amazing Alterations as well.  I think just having someone NOT related to Macy's will make you feel 1000% better.
  • EmilyW416EmilyW416 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_upset-wedding-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:81Discussion:cf259b4f-1a6c-4ba5-8f90-509528abdaf4Post:cfc3d39c-9864-4904-a8d8-d476a7585407">Re: UPSET about wedding dress! :( :(</a>:
    [QUOTE]This is just a thought, but if you still REALLY hate your dress after the alterations have been done, it might not be too late to find something different. I bought a sample dress from DB for about $250, and my seamstress only had it for a couple weeks -- though since I wasn't in a huge rush, she took her time with it. If it's been altered and you still feel really uncomfortable, it might be worth it to just bite the bullet and get something different.
    Posted by tpender13[/QUOTE]

    This is what I was gonna say. If you hate it THAT much maybe trying something new
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  • saric83saric83 member
    Ninth Anniversary 500 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Ditto PP's suggestions of going somewhere else for alterations!  Also, you mentioned being concerned about your tummy but couldn't wear anything because of the lace back.  But they have backless strapless bra/shapewear pieces that could totally suck you in and make you feel more comfortable! Good luck. : )
  • AETS26AETS26 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Echoing tpender13 -- if, all alterations done, you are still not happy with your dress, check out the consignment dresses at Brides of France (Richfield location) or the Bride to Be Consignment Store. You can get some amazing -- like $1000 designer dresses -- for a steal. Might be a long shot, and additional time and money, but may also be worth a trip if you're still unhappy.

    Even if the dress doesn't end up to be perfect, as long as you remember the reason for your wedding, you will be a beautiful bride :)
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