May 2013 Weddings

Considering a Court House Wedding

I have already begun plans for an outdoor wedding and it is very simple. Lately, though, I have been considering getting married at the courthouse first and then following it up with a ceremony afterwards when my FI and I save up more money and are not so bogged down with school.

Would anyone else consider this route or have any thoughts on it?
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Re: Considering a Court House Wedding

  • SwazzleSwazzle New Jersey member
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    If money & school is keeping you from having the wedding you want then why are you rushing to get married?  Why not just save the money & finish school & then have the wedding you want?

  • I agree with PP... honestly I would not consider a courthouse wedding because I know that's not what I envisioned for my wedding day. If it is money and school holding you back then you should wait till you can financially afford to have a wedding and you are done with school/ What's the rush nothing is going to change if you two just wait? IMO I say you need to sit down and think about what's most important to you right now... HTH....
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  • Yeah, I would definitely NOT do this, partly for what pp said before - what's the rush? - and also because of the implications of the second ceremony. You can only have ONE wedding to the same person (barring if you two would get an official divorce, then remarry). The second ceremony could only be considered a vow renewal, because the two of you will already be married.

    That also means you would have to forfeit any bridal showers, bachelorette parties, ect, because you aren't a bride anymore. You're a wife. There is only one wedding, and a courthouse ceremony isn't any less of a legally-binding ceremony.

    I remember in a previous post you wrote that you two are pretty young. Seriously, don't rush into the marriage thing. I know it sounds all sunshine and butterflies and yay I'm a wife!, but marriage is hard work. And should be considered a pretty serious committment. Not saying that you aren't ready, because only you can make that call, but a few more years as a fiancee isn't going to change much than if you're a wife. And then you can save up as much as you want to have the day you really want!
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  • We were actually considering a courthosue wedding. but we would only have a reception at a later date. Both of us originally wanted jsut imediate family there. Well then our families became involved and actually made our wedding larger. Now instead of having the 12 people we wanted there, we have 200. We still may just get hitched at a courthouse and have a reception.
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  • I have no problem with court house weddings.  If you want to do this instead of a wedding, then that's your decision and there are plenty of advantages (it's WAY cheaper!).  However, I have a huge issue with people who recreate weddings later, like a play.  This is not a show, so don't "fake" another wedding ceremony. 

    I would say if you really want to have a wedding, but want to have a court house wedding first, have a delayed reception only.  My parents did this 30 years ago.  They were married by a JP in February and then had a small reception in May.

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  • I agree with melb2013 on this one.  I do think that having a courthouse wedding is a decision that has its merits.  It is about the marriage in the end, right?  However, if it does mean a lot for you to have a wedding, I would wait until you can save for a wedding first. 
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  • hmm. myself i would never do the whole "second ceremony" just does not make any sense to me. money aside, if you have an inkling you will not be happy with just a court house wedding, don't do it. because to me, the second time will not be as special, you are already married. and if you have visions of what your special day could be, dont rush into something else just because you want to get married.  PP said you were very young. to me, being in school and planning a wedding takes all the fun out of it. and also, a wedding is alot of work and very costly...i know i speak for myself when i say this and a lot of other brides probably agree, if i could i would get married to my fiance TOMORROW! ahaha, but like i said, weddings are costly and time consuming and a year is just enough time to plan it all out exactly how you want it to be AND to be able to save enough money..add school to that for both of you and you'll be waiiting a little longer, but to me the anticipation is exciting and think how rewarding your wedding day will be when you actually work hard for it and see everything you really want come to life...just my opinion though...
  • A lot of people could potentially be offended by your proposed plan because it would be like you're lying to your friends and family about being married and whatnot. I could see having the courthouse wedding then a reception later down the line, but not the courthouse wedding then another ceremony plus reception. 

    I'd save it all for until you're both done with school just to save yourselves a ton of stress and give yourselves plenty of time to get the money together.
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  • Thanks for all the input! The ceremony really matters more to my fiance than it does to me, as weird as that may seem. I would be totally fine with just going to the courthouse because I'm not that great with large crowds and the attention being soley on myself and my fiance. I'm skipping out on all the bachelorette parties and things of that nature. It's just really not my thing. We aren't rushing, I know it certainly seems like that though. This is just how we want things. Young marriages is sort of a trend in my fiance's family.
    Apparently I have been stressing for no reason because my fiance (unknown to me) was already putting hundreds of dollars a week into a savings account. Maybe someone should let the lady doing all the planning know how much she can spend, haha!
    I just want everything to be as simple as possible. The wedding is one day, marriage is for life. There's no need to stress out over one day.
    Again thanks for all of your opinions Laughing
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