I'm totally kidding. It's HULU.
Hello, ladies.
I just wanted to stop by and say how much I really appreciate all of the hugs, vibes, and prayers you've sent these past couple of months. A lot has happened recently, apart from the obvious, and it really made me all sentimental when Tarra showed me all the sweet comments and well wishes you girls have sent during this rough patch. I can't say that I'm going to be around a ton, but I did want to make sure that I did my best to keep in touch with all of you, thus the creation of this new account, so sorry if, once again, I've confused you all with my name change. I figured a new start would help (not to mention the constant reminder my previous account would've been for me).
Just a quick little up-to-date on some things. Both of us are fairing as well as can be expected right now, but we've given each other some distance, and right now, neither one of us wants to dwell too much on "will we/won't we". We need some time left alone from "What happened?" or "Are you over for good?", so I'm not going to go into any details, I just want to leave it be for now.
Mildly TMI
I would, on the other hand, like to ask for some T&Ps for something. I have a doctor's appointment in the morning, and I'm a bit nervous. I was put on Effexor (an anti-depressant that was prescribed mostly because of the accompanying mood swings, one episode in which I nearly tore the kitchen apart) about a month ago. As expected, I was relatively sleepy/nauseas the first week or so. (I had taken Celexa a year or two previous for a short period of time, but it seemed to do little for my anxiety) After the nausea/sleepiness spells seemed to go away, I found that I was becoming constipated rather frequently. This continued to the point where I never had the urge to go to the bathroom, and was incapable of using the bathroom without taking a laxative. Then it proceeded to the point where I needed 2-3 to get the job done. Both my doctor and I were disappointed, as the Effexor otherwise seemed to do wonders for my mood and anxiety.
Long story short, I was swapped to Cymbalta. Now I'm basically back to square one. My anxiety has returned, and although I haven't had any explosive tantrums or outbursts, I do find myself getting much more frequently irritated than I was previously. However, my doctor will not be able to up my dosage (if that's what is needed) until I've taken the medicine for a longer period of time (I've been taking it for a week now). What concerns me is the fact that Effexor has not been in my system for over a week, and I'm still incapable of having an urge to go to the bathroom. I ended up taking 12 laxatives total in the span of a month before I was taken off of it. I've heard some really scary stories of women who have jacked up their reproductive system because of an overabundance of laxative use.
One possibility is that the Effexor has paralyzed the muscles in my abdomen that give you that "urge". It's not uncommon, according to the research I've done, but I'm hoping that it's something that will resolve over time. Still, if that IS the diagnosis, there are some rather uncomfortable looking tests that may have to be done (including endoscopy -shudder-).
At any rate, right now I feel as I did before ever being put on an SSRI. I'm rarely ever up this late at night, and I don't see any sleep in my imminent future. Thoughts and prayers would be most appreciated.
Lots of Love,
HULU
Walkin' in high cotton, old times there are not forgotten.
ay kay ay, HULU