Unwanted guest

S&D23 · October 2012

How would you handle the following:

I work with all women and some I'm friends with outside of the work place. So I'll be inviting some co-works to my wedding. One girl I have worked with over the past 3 years a d she is super nice and friendly to my face, but I hear she talks badly behind my back. She speaks badly behind everyones back. Even when confronted - "i never said that!"
She's stuck up and snotty and always has a comment to make. I act cordial at work and keep friendly, but i will not take it farther than casual talk and chit chat. We don't hangout outside if work or anything of that nature either. I have confronted her a few times about things people have told me she said and she blows it off, says she didn't say it, yaddaa yaaddaa blaa blahhh.. beat a dead horse.
She knows I'm getting married and assumes she's invited along with the couple other girls Im inviting. How do I handle her? How should I "nicely" put that she's not really a friend like the others and therefor not invited? I know it's my wedding and can have who I want and don't want there, but how do I keep the seas calm
while at work? I dont need issues on a daily basis.

lconoran · October 2012

I guess she's said something that leads you to believe she assumes she's invited? I wouldn't have the conversation with her about who IS invited and that she's not. I would expect the people in the office you do invite, to politely not talk about it in the office (ask them not to if you think they will). If she does say something about going, I would discuss it with her privately that you're really keeping it to friends (which even your other co-workers are it seems) and family.

S&D23 · October 2012

We attended a co- workers wedding last weekend and she caught up with me at a point during the night and made a comment along the lines of, "yours is next and I can't wait!" I'm thinking because my co-worker invited almost everyone from work this girl thinks I'm intending to do the same?!?! I will ask those I plan to invite not to talk about it at work and hope that help solves any further comments. I just don't understand why she'd even want to come being she's not nice to me behind my back! You clearly don't think of me as a friend soooooooo why would I have you there? There are some people on the path of life that you'll never understand I guess lol

agu101 · October 2012

While it's not ideal to have someone you don't like at your wedding, just think through if this could have repricussions down the road, especially if she is a co-worker. Do you both see yourself at this particular company for awhile and want a pleasant work environment? Is there a potential she could be promoted and become your boss, OR could she have influence on you not being promoted? Could she impact you getting a job at another company down the road? It really depends on what the relationship dynamics are, which only you know for sure. If she's not someone you invite out when you go out with the other co-workers, than she should not be as surprised, likewise if she doesn't invite you to social events. And if she does question your choice not to invite her, my response would be, "If you were getting married, would I be on your guest list?"

bereasonable2 · October 2012

If she's as much of a biizznatch as you say she is and everyone else thinks the same, then simply don't invite her.

Unwanted guest

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