Putting a Different Start time on Invites

yoshijo · October 2012

I recently went to a wedding where the invite said 3pm but the wedding did not really start until 3:30pm (and I don't mean they were running behind, I mean they intentionally were not starting until 3:30). They put an earlier time to make sure everyone got there on time. Maybe I've just never noticed it before but how common is this? I understand not wanting to start the ceremony without the majority/all of guests present but I just don't think it is fair to have your guests intentionally waiting. Just curious to see what you all think about it.

MrsGandthebeag · October 2012

It's rude.

cwaggoner07 · October 2012

We started about 10 minutes late. I wouldn't say that was 100% our plan, but people were still pulling up/at the valet station/etc. and we kind of anticipated that.
If everyone was in their seats at 7pm, that's when we would have started, but realistically that's rarely going to be the case.

ootmother2 · October 2012

It's extremely bad manners and it implies that your guests have the same

courtski2004 · October 2012

I typically arrive at a wedding 30 minutes early, so if my punctuality were being tested and I had to wait an additional half hour for them to start I would be ticked. People will be late, but to expect it and make the people who arrived on time/early wait longer is incredibly inconsiderate. I even think that wording on the invitation asking people to be punctual is insulting. Trust your guests to arrive on time like actual adults. If they don't, it's on them. They don't get to see the processional and get to sit in the back.

achiduck · October 2012

It's incredibly rude. So long as everyone's there, we're starting at 4 pm.

QueerFemme · October 2012

It is VERY rude. Most guests will show up 15-20 minutes early, so that rude bride and groom had their friends and family waiting for almost an hour. Absolutely rude and unacceptable etiquette, as far as I'm concerned.

We started 5 minutes late to accomodate the last few stragglers. Anyone who came in after that was held back from entering the ceremony area by the wedding coordinator until the wedding party was down the aisle, and then they were allowed to sneak in the back.

catloverd · October 2012

Yeah, I would find this rude since I always go early to everything, so I'd have to sit even longer than those who arrive late. If you don't want to wait for guests, then just start your wedding and allow the stragglers to sit after the wedding party has gone down the aisle.

HobokensFury · October 2012

Athough I've seen it before it's rude. Adults can get to places on time.

MyNameIsNot · October 2012

This is so incredibly rude. It's also really insulting and condescending to your guests. You assume that they are a bunch of morons that can't get anywhere on time.

If they are late, have them stand in the back or go on to the reception. Do not punish your guests that show up on time for the off chance that someone will be late.

lls31 · October 2012

Our venue told us that since we put 5:00 on our invites, the ceremony should start at 5:30. I disagree. As a guest, I get there 15-30 minutes before the time on the invite. If I'm waiting for an hour, I'm not a happy camper...

Ali092011 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_putting-a-different-start-time-on-invites?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:f3e3a1a3-6fa1-4487-9920-d691f16f11dePost:042445ba-a5a2-4c35-97a9-b6debc393cc6">Re: Putting a Different Start time on Invites</a>:
[QUOTE]Our venue told us that since we put 5:00 on our invites, the ceremony should start at 5:30. I disagree. As a guest, I get there 15-30 minutes before the time on the invite. If I'm waiting for an hour, I'm not a happy camper...
Posted by lls31[/QUOTE]

Our venue told us the opposite. They stressed the necessity of putting the<em> exact time</em> on the invitations. They can hold up to three weddings at a time, but they usually stagger them by half an hour or so. Therefore, if guests arrive early, there's the potential that they will have nowhere to go or will end up at the wrong wedding.

There's a good chance that quite a few of my guests will be late to the ceremony (and I say this based on the fact that they've been late to every wedding/party/concert/funeral I've attended with them), but we are going to start as close to 6:00 as possible. And we listed 6:00 on our invitations. I trust that my friends who are always late will either rise to the occasion, or will be unobtrusive and slip in the back after the processional. Not a problem.

GoodLuckBear14 · October 2012

I get to weddings 20-30 minutes early. After waiting 15 minutes past the start time at one wedding (found out from an usher it was really supposed to start a half hour later than the invitation said), I left and then showed up for the reception.

lyndausvi · October 2012

I get anexity attacks from being late. I would be pissed if I found out the wedding was really a half-hour later.

Don't punish those of us who are on time (the majority in my world) because of a few inconsiderate people (the minority in my world).

Besides how do you keep such a thing from getting out? The WP more than likely knows, they tell 2 friends, who tells 2 friends. Then those of us in not in the know are waiting around while the late people are still going to be late because they know the time was reallly a half-hour later.

StephJean83 · October 2012

I have ONE friend that we joked about sending her a different invite from everyone else with the start time about 2 hrs earlier but it was JOKING. I would never think of putting one time down on the invite and plan on starting later. I get putting 2pm on the invite and starting at 2:05 or 2:10 to let stragglers in who show up at 1:55 to 2pm, we had to wait to start my sister's wedding because our mother was late!!! I find it extremely rude to put a time down just so everyone will get there on time because you don't know why someone might "always be late" from them having horrible timing skills to them needing to make medicine at a certain time. I would be pissed, especially if I was traveling from out of state for a wedding and rushed to get there a little early and they lied about the start time was really starting 30 mins later.

artbyallie · October 2012

The time on the invitation is supposed to be the time the bride walks in. Most people know to show up before then. Some people are just ignorant.

Although I've heard that for Jewish weddings, the wedding starts 30 min. after the time on the invitation. I've never been to one, though.

amymaysa · October 2012

Very rude.

Like others, I arrive 15 or so min early (typically) so if I got there and realized I was 45 minutes early, I wouldn't be happy at all.

Meghannsix · October 2012

Very rude. I'm in the "if you're not five minutes early, you're late" camp. Our wedding will start at 4pm, exactly. I don't give a flying f*ck who's not there. As long as I'm there and FI's there, that's all I care about.

Summer2011Bride · October 2012

It's rude, like others have said, but also, our wedding absolutely started on time, even though there were some stragglers. At 3:00, the BMs started processing in. Those who came in late were either held in the vestibule until I had processed in or escorted down the side aisles of the Church where it wasn't noticeable. Adults should be able to get to places on time in general, much less an affair like a wedding, and I don't believe in pushing the start time back at all just to accommodate a few rude individuals.

ETA: And the few who were late were all grown adults with no small children to wrangle. They also all lived in town. Some people are just perpetually late, and it's one of my biggest pet peeves. I hate when people have no respect for others' time. I had a friend who would always show up 15-30 min. late for get-togethers, and after that happening a few times, I would start just leaving if she was late.

eelsbury08 · October 2012

Sadly my cousin came down the isle with the bride at a wedding the family went to. The family was embarrassed.

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