Friday ceremony and reception timing?

Betje81 · September 2012

Hiya!

My FI and I fell in love with this one venue but the only catch is it only has Friday availablity. We are also doing a church ceremony so obviously they are not at the same location. There is a 1/2 hour drive between the church and venue. What would the best timing be for the ceremony to start and then the reception?? And most of our guests will be from out of town too!

[Deleted User] · September 2012

Don't forget to account for photo time between ceremony & reception unless you are doing photos before ceremony.

QueerFemme · September 2012

I agree with Stage. I'd probably skip one or the other. My only recommendation is maybe do a first look and all of your photos before the ceremony. Have a 7pm ceremony, reception starting immediately thereafter. But, with the 1/2 hour drive, that will still put your reception at 8:30ish start time. People will likely be hungry and grumpy by that point.

Lilshell812 · September 2012

I'm having a Friday wedding too. The distance between ceremony & reception is about 20-30 minutes. I expect more people to show up to the reception than to the ceremony...but I don't think it's asking too much at all. If I'm sending my save the dates 6 months prior, that will give people plenty of time to take 1/2 day if they need to.

Anyway, our ceremony will probably be at 4:30pm (20-30 minute ceremony) with our reception starting at 5:30pm.

Good luck and let me know what you decide!

Summer2011Bride · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_friday-ceremony-and-reception-timing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:9c6341ef-a9ff-478b-b12b-03a931bb6d2fPost:086135d1-e3a3-4271-a3d3-f88da09ef6bc">Re: Friday ceremony and reception timing?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm having a Friday wedding too. The distance between ceremony & reception is about 20-30 minutes. I expect more people to show up to the reception than to the ceremony...<strong>but I don't think it's asking too much at all. If I'm sending my save the dates 6 months prior, that will give people plenty of time to take 1/2 day if they need to. </strong>Anyway, our ceremony will probably be at 4:30pm (20-30 minute ceremony) with our reception starting at 5:30pm. Good luck and let me know what you decide!
Posted by Lilshell812[/QUOTE]

It's not just that simple all the time. I'm a teacher. A lot goes into me missing even a half day of work--my district has to pay a sub, I have to make sub plans, and I have to have my students miss out on a day or half day of instruction because not every sub has an English background and can teach the concepts/answer questions accurately. Plus we only get two personal days per year, so I have to use wisely.

There are many professions where time off is near impossible to get, or for hourly employees, or employees with no accrued vacation time, you're talking missing out on money to go to a wedding. Six months won't change that or make the situation any better. Sure, you can have a Friday wedding, but your attitude of "Oh well, they can make it work. It's not too much to ask" is rather rude to your guests.

OP, you say your venue has only Friday open. Are you willing to be flexible with your date and change the month if necessary to get a Saturday? If that's not possible, then I agree that in order to start it at a time that is convenient for most people (like 630 or later), you're going to be getting a very late start on dinner and I would hate to drive that far between venues when it's already a late night.

LDubHawksFan · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_friday-ceremony-and-reception-timing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:9c6341ef-a9ff-478b-b12b-03a931bb6d2fPost:086135d1-e3a3-4271-a3d3-f88da09ef6bc">Re: Friday ceremony and reception timing?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm having a Friday wedding too. The distance between ceremony & reception is about 20-30 minutes. I expect more people to show up to the reception than to the ceremony...but I don't think it's asking too much at all. If I'm sending my save the dates 6 months prior, that will give people plenty of time to take 1/2 day if they need to. Anyway, our ceremony will probably be at 4:30pm (20-30 minute ceremony) with our reception starting at 5:30pm. Good luck and let me know what you decide!
Posted by Lilshell812[/QUOTE]

I think a 4:30 ceremony time on a Friday is too early. If it were me, I would try to push it to 5:30. At least then people would be able to maybe skirt out of work a tad early and still make it.

Betje81 · September 2012

Wow! I don't think I was expecting to get that much negative response to just a basic question of timing of ceremony and reception on a Friday.

And if we did a Friday wedding then we would definitely have a first look to save time between the two.

Believe me I completely understand about people getting time off, etc. I'm a teacher myself, though am lucky enough I work for a charter school and having an extended school year (and school days) means I get 16 personal/sick days. I guess I figured that with most of my friends who are getting married in the next year or so are having Friday weddings, I know it means enough that I'd figure some way of being there. I can see people misisng the ceremony but who would miss a party!! I'm also in the boat where all of my family is oversees too so our wedding is already pretty small as it is since I know most of them won't be able to make (along with the fact my sister gets married next year too) so it's really important to me that my friends are there since they are practically family to me. Just feels like if we have to sacrifice a venue (which has no Sat availablity until Nov which does not work with my FI work schedule at all) in order to have family and friends there I guess that's what we might just have to do.l

kmmssg · September 2012

My youngest stepdd had her wedding on a Friday with a ceremony at 5 pm in our capital city. We have a large number of teachers in the immediate family. None of them were able to attend because the wedding was in mid-late May and several of them had contractual requirements of no PTO the last 4 weeks of school. Kids were invited and they also weren't going to pull the kids from school.

My nephew had a Friday night wedding that worked out fairly well. Ceremony was at 6:30, all pics were done prior to the ceremony, and reception was 20-25 minutes away. The best you can do is plan it later. My stepdd's 5 pm wedding cost her a lot of guests, including one of my DD's with whom she is close. DD was at a new job, 90 day probation period. No time off at all. If stepdd had gone with a 6 - 6:30 wedding her aunts and uncles who are teachers could come and so could DD.

If you are doing Friday, go later.

Lilshell812 · September 2012

Jeez everyone, I did say " I expect more people to show up to the reception than to the ceremony."

I also have a job where it's difficult to get time off so I understand your plight. But since Fridays are cheaper and I'm on a tight budget, I don't have many options. Friday and Sunday weddings are extremely common nowadays.

LDubHawksFan · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_friday-ceremony-and-reception-timing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:9c6341ef-a9ff-478b-b12b-03a931bb6d2fPost:ec95b9f6-442f-4c86-8444-8018c080d24e">Re: Friday ceremony and reception timing?</a>:
[QUOTE]Jeez everyone, I did say " I expect more people to show up to the reception than to the ceremony." I also have a job where it's difficult to get time off so I understand your plight. But since Fridays are cheaper and I'm on a tight budget, I don't have many options. Friday and Sunday weddings are extremely common nowadays.
Posted by Lilshell812[/QUOTE]

No one was saying that a Friday wedding is bad. We were simply saying that if you do a Friday wedding, having a later ceremony time is preferable. If you are fine with a lot of people missing your vows (which is the important part of the day), then go for it, but honestly, like all of us have said, pushing it to 5:30 or 6 would be better. Best of luck with your Friday wedding!

random4180 · September 2012

I got married on a Wed (3:30 ceremony;) and it really worked out well. First things first, we're from NYC where everything costs an arm and a leg. We found a place less than an hour away in Westchester, with a Catholic church across the street where we could have our ceremony, where all day rental was $650. We thought about going with a later ceremony but since rush hour lasts from about 4:30-7:30...at that rate, we weren't going to have our ceremony until 9 and our reception would practically turn into an afterparty. So we checked with our VIPs and made sure they would be able to make it and went from there. We sent out STDs 9 months in advance and were fully prepared for no one to be there BUT our immediate familes. We got about 105 of our 177 invitees; a perfect number for us!

It's unconventional, I won't deny that, but it can definitely work and the timing really has a lot to do with your circumstances and your area. Be ready for a larger number of declines and always be understanding of others' circumstances. If you can't imagine getting married without one person or another, check with them before you set the date! A lot of professions are M-F, 9-5, but there were a large number of guests on our list who work jobs that are essentially 24/7 (nurses, EMT, etc) or are students who are home from school in August or teachers who had the summer off. For our group, it worked out. We were faced with a scenario where we could have the wedding we could afford and the guest list we wanted or we could find a place that we could afford on a Saturday and be limited by our budget to our immediate family anyway.

Everyone will agree that all you need for a wedding are bride, groom, and license; everything else is extra. As long as the guests you invite are hosted properly, the rest of the details of the event are secondary. Invite people with significant others, don't make them pay for anything, don't tier your reception, everyone who gets a STD gets an invite, etc., and while your wedding and ceremony might not be everyone's cup of tea (and they will happily point out the potential flaws in your plan,) they will appreciate a proper host who can be realistic and not throw a fit if everyone doesn't drop everything to attend their wedding!

Sspencer89 · September 2012

our ceremony wil be starting at 4pm and the recepetion starts at 6. most of the guests are oot, and its June 28th and the monday is canada day so people can make a long weekend out of it. we dont get to spend alot of time together any other time of the year

Friday ceremony and reception timing?

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