What did you do with?....

tlgilmore · January 2011

As I was reorganizing holiday decorations I came across a storage box that contained proofs from my first wedding... I have been separated from my ex for over 6 years and haven't thought about those pictures in a really long time..

What do I do with them? Its a part of my past and I cant change that, but still my family and friends are in there... I have removed some of the pictures I would like to keep. But what about the rest...

What did you do?? FI and I talked about it. He does not have any pictures from his because his Ex took them when they separated.

Just curious what you all did..

TIA!!

tjraines · January 2011

I still have mine as well. I had a child with my ex and thought that someday my son might want the pictures of his dad's family.

Tonya

Lisa50 · January 2011

I kept it all for my son. I have no idea if he wants it; we'll see.

mybooboos · January 2011

I just came across mine last week, while cleaning out a storage area. I decided to put them back where I found them, in case my daughters would be interested in them in the future.

If I didn't have children with him, I'm not sure what I'd do with them. It does document a period in my past, so I'm not sure if I'd trash them. My FI still has his pictures in a photo album stored away, which I don't mind. Again, it was a period of life in his past, and I have no issues with it.

ichellemay1 · January 2011

I kept some of the pics - no kids involved, so that wasn't an issue. Mostly I kept pics of my family and ones I looked good in.

Lisa50 · January 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_did-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:cb296f18-8f03-47f4-b6ab-f5527348e999Post:d68c575d-70a2-420c-9eb3-77ac84383e9c">Re: What did you do with?....</a>:
[QUOTE]I kept it all for my son. I have no idea if he wants it; we'll see.
Posted by Lisa50[/QUOTE]

If I didn't have a child, I might give it to my former MIL. She and I still have a great relationship. My ex is the eldest of 9 kids, so she'd have a great record of the ga-zillion grandkids, all dressed up ... plus photos of her with her husband, who passed away last year.

NZbride2011 · January 2011

I didn't have any children w/ my ex, but I still have them, among other things. We were married for 6yrs, and together for 11yrs. They are currently stored in my basement in 2 containers. My FI doesn't mind at all and he's actually gone through them all. He thinks I looked beautiful and reminds me that it is a part of my past, and a part of something that made me who I am today. So I have them, I never look at them, but they are there. Maybe someday I'll purge more, but that's for another day. Good luck with your decision.

right1thistime · January 2011

I think it depends on what your feelings are about your former relationship. If you have children, keeping them can be an important memory of better times for the kids.

If you are at peace with the end of that marriage, I think that keeping them is just a part of your life history. One of the reasons I knew that DH was "the one" was his willingness to accept both his own past and mine-- he said, 'you cannot deny that at one point in time you were in love, or thought you were, and that the sad/bad times were preceded by happier ones." It is certainly not an affront to the person you are currently marrying. If you have weeded them down to just the photos that are meaningful to you, passing the remainder off to the families and the ex is also a nice gesture.

For those who their entire prior relationship is a nightmarish recollection of horrid times, some have burned the photos in a cleansing moment. I would not recommend doing that immediately after the seperation/ divorce, when emotions are high--but if a couple of years down the road the urge persists, it can be healing. ~Donna

debi1941 · January 2011

That is so funny that you brought up this topic...less than month ago I came across my wedding album from 1988......I found myself sitting on the floor and looking at the entire book....I then showed my FH.....and he got a kick out of looking at them.....

So many people in those beautiful pictures that are no longer here.....

I am going ot keep mine...forever, and hand it down to my children...it is a memory in my life....and people I loved are in those pictures......

Believe me, I can care less about the pictures of me and m x...but....wow, we were so young.....

some pictures can never be replaced.......and the memories whether they are good or bad are forever also.....

Good luck with your decision......

Marrin713 · January 2011

xH made short work of our wedding pics. Luckily, my mom still has her album.

nmauser82 · January 2011

I left mine behind when I moved out of state. I had no interest in keeping hard copies. I did however keep the digital copies on a cd only because there are a lot of good candid photos of friends and family.

I don't have any children with my ex so I really didn't see a need for keeping an album of proofs. All it would do is collect dust on a shelf where I could store something more usefull.

2dBride · January 2011

There never were a whole lot of pictures of my first wedding. (The photographer disappeared after sending us proofs, so all we have is the amateur shots.) However, I have kept the ones I have. NotFroofy even looked at them when we were planning our wedding, to get an idea of some of the Jewish wedding traditions.

tenofcups4me · January 2011

The album and half the proofs are in a box in the basement along with the albums from my showers and all the cards we received. Oh, the video is there too. He took whatever proofs he wanted of his family and friends. I think I've looked at them maybe twice in the 7 years we've been divorced but no way would I get rid of them -- there are some great family and friend pictures there and hell, there are some great pictures of the two of us. The marriage didn't work, but the wedding was a very happy day and the whole experience is still an important part of my life.

tlgilmore · January 2011

Thank you sooo much for all of your responses..

I'm not sure what I will do. We did not have any children so that is not an issue. Over the years I have sent pictures of he and his family to his Mother because I didnt feel right throwing them away. I have no contact with him or his family. I now live out of state and have thought about mailing these too.. For now they will continue to live in the garage.

While it didnt work out for he and I, I learned so much and love that my FI and I can talk about our marriages and know how and what to say to have the life we want together. No regrets!!

Thanks and best of luck to you all!!

kimp67 · January 2011

I asked our son if he wanted any (he kept one) the rest I threw out with the trash.

missmelanie81 · January 2011

Ive kept mine. Mostly because of my family thats in them. My grandmother passed away shortly after the wedding, so those pictures are priceless to me. I dont look at them often...but I cant part with them and fiance doesnt mind I have them.

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