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Uninvited Guest

dfburickdfburick
First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I need some advice about an unhappy friend that was not invited to our wedding. I now have her family members calling myself and my fiance upset, anger and just plain rude saying that we are being rude by not inviting her. Now what so I do? I feel like I am being bullied into it. THis is typical of this family. I do not have a problem with this individual coming, but we have a small guest list whiich is why she was excluded. I want to hold my ground and still not send an invite because it is our event, not theirs.However, I know we will never hear the end of it from the other family members. I'm so angry right now!
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Re: Uninvited Guest

  • LoopysevenLoopyseven member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 5 Love Its
    Why is your family so concerned?  Is this a close family friend?  A friend of yours?  I need more information on your level of friendship with this person and how/why your family is involved.
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  • DramaGeekDramaGeek member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    I think that'd be the end of my relationship with that family.
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  • dfburickdfburick
    First Comment
    It is not a family member. The univited guest is a family member of some close friends that are also a part of the wedding party and/or showerr host. It is the uninvited guest's family that is making the big stink.
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  • DramaGeekDramaGeek member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited May 2011
    Wait, the ones making the stink are in your wedding party?  Please tell me it's different family members that are calling you up.

    In any case, you have two choices - stick to your guns or give in.  Giving in might be the easier option in that you won't have to deal with the crazy, but I doubt you'd be very happy with that choice.  It sounds like you need to firmly tell them that your guest list is not open for discussion and then ignore them.
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  • thesequelthesequel
    100 Comments
    Repeat after me "Thank you for your concern, but we are having a small wedding and want to keep the guest list as such".

    Like PP have said - you have two choices - let yourself be bullied and invite the individual or stick to your guns.

    Good luck!
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  • EllenG27EllenG27
    100 Comments
    Even if you give that person an invitation, that doesn't mean it's not going to be brought up again. They'll probably still mention 'oh, you almost didn't let susie come to the wedding'. or 'aren't you glad you let susie come to the wedding?'
    I think that I would stick my guns. There was clearly a reason this person wasn't on the 'must have' list.
    Another thought - could this person end up coming as a guest of someone who is invited?
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  • dfburickdfburick
    First Comment
    Thanks Ladies -
    I am leaning towards inviting just the quiet everyone. I will also be asking them to NOT bring up the topic again. SO RUDE!
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  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Just hold your ground.  Hold tight!  Good luck.
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  • sweetcanadian1979sweetcanadian1979
    1000 Comments
    I would say "i know you would like this person there but we have a small budget and have to stick to it, if we invite them then we will have to invite so & so etc etc and that will create even bigger problems, please respect our wishes as it is OUR wedding & OUR budget and unfortunately we can not accomodate everyone that we would like to, now please kindly do not bring it up again" EOS
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  • blahblah85blahblah85
    100 Comments
    If I were the uninvited person, and I suddenly got an invite I honestly wouldn't go.  How awkward! 
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  • marinabreezemarinabreeze
    500 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_uninvited-guest-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ed0b6a0d-ce7e-4601-b859-c14022ef0a5ePost:f9628516-a66b-4a5a-8114-f904ab43ac45">Re: Uninvited Guest</a>:
    [QUOTE]Even if you give that person an invitation, that doesn't mean it's not going to be brought up again. They'll probably still mention 'oh, you almost didn't let susie come to the wedding'. or 'aren't you glad you let susie come to the wedding?'
    Posted by EllenG27[/QUOTE]
    I totally agree with this.  You're kind of damned if you do, damned if you don't.  In this case, especially considering the gall of these people, don't.  How are these people contacting you?  Can't you block them or ignore their calls, texts, or messages?  Sounds like a lot of crazy.
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  • katheriner89katheriner89 member
    100 Comments
    I wouldn't invite them just for the fact that they might be spiteful about almost not getting invited and try to ruin something or make a scene at your wedding. (my cousin had this happen at hers, so i know from experience)
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  • theanglfactheanglfac
    100 Comments
    Stick to your guns!!! You can do it. Do not let these people change your guest list. Understand that they are being rude and not you. I think the other posters had much more polite things to say than anything that would ever come out of my mouth on the subject!
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