And the problems continue

allychase · July 2012

I mentioned my FMIL the other day and about her NEEDING us to have favors apparently and us trying to communicate to her the fact that the photo booth is our favor. Well today she texted me and said "stopped at Party city today and found a place card frame that will work for the favor. Bought one so you can see." ugh. Face palm. I don't understand how else we can explain this to her. First of all, I already bought the 5 dollar pack of place cards at Michaels that you just type the names on. Bingo. Done. I wasn't looking to spend 2 dollars a head for the place cards. Not to mention, since when is a place card a favor? Guests don't take the card home to forever remember what table they sat at our wedding. Also, when did she decide what will "work" at MY wedding? Last I checked she wasn't the one making final decisions on all details for the wedding. Sorry for the vent, but I don't know how else to tell this woman we aren't doing any other favors. I just do not want to spend any money in that category whatsoever. I don't feel as though I need to buy something to appease her when even spending 100 dollars on favors is not in the budget. I can make decisions on my own. Agggghhh!!

allychase · July 2012

Yeah I pretty much threw in the towel after I told her thanks, but I already bought place cards. If she says anything else I'll direct all texts/calls to FI.

starael · July 2012

Maybe she doesn't know what a photobooth is? I had to explain to my parents that, no, they don't just take photos that FI and I will see after the wedding, they make extra copies that you can put in your purse or pocket and take home. If you make it clear that it's something tangible that people can take, maybe she will stop trying to get you to give out other favors.

allychase · July 2012

In Response to Re:And the problems continue:[QUOTE]As I said before, have DH handle it. Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

I just feel rude if she texts my phone directly then have my FI step in on his phone when he's usually never involved in planning details like this.

allychase · July 2012

In Response to Re:And the problems continue:[QUOTE]Maybe she doesn't know what a photobooth is? I had to explain to my parents that, no, they don't just take photos that FI and I will see after the wedding, they make extra copies that you can put in your purse or pocket and take home. If you make it clear that it's something tangible that people can take, maybe she will stop trying to get you to give out other favors. nbsp; Posted by starael[/QUOTE]

This is a good thought, but she actually paid for the photo booth at her daughters wedding and used it and totally gets the concept. I just think shes trying to have all the bells and whistles to impress her family, and work friends, and neighbors that will be at our wedding.

SKPM · July 2012

Honestly, I would just keep her out of the loop as much as possible -- regarding favors and anything else that she isn't paying for or doesn't directly concern her. Next time she asks, just say that you have the favors covered and that you do not need any more help/ideas. If she presses for specifics, say that you want the details to be a surprise, and change the subject. It worked wonders on my now-MIL.

ETA: I don't call or text any of my ILs. If MIL or FIL calls or texts, I let it go to voicemail (for calls), and discuss with H first. "H, your mom called and left a message asking if we want to come over for dinner. What do you think? Okay, please call her back when you get a chance." I wouldn't expect H to be in constant communication with my parents either; this is what works for us.

AdeleDazeem · July 2012

Not that it helps at all, but I've seen escort cards be in small frames that guests later take home. It's a picture frame - not meant to hold your escort card forever.

I agree with Stage, get your fiance to wrangle in his mother.

Kristin789 · July 2012

"Mrs. Jones, my parents are hosting the wedding, and I'm sure they have already made the decisions on favors and place cards. But you can call them if you want to talk more about this. Thanks for your enthusiasm!"

mrskristinyc · July 2012

My dad had someone take pictures of each guest (with their date or family) as they walked in, and they used little frames for the place cards. During the reception, we had someone print out the pictures and give them to each of the guest to put in the frames. Maybe something like that would appease you FMIL?

And the problems continue

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