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September 2013 Weddings

Courtesy Invite? What would you do?

Ok... So last Feb we were invited to an engagement party for my second cousin. Her mom emailed me and invited me. I had no interest in going, since I hadn't seen her since we were kids, however, she's engaged to an NHL player and before I even had the words out of my mouth FI said we'd be going.

Fast forward to now. I just received their save the date. I was hoping they wouldn't invite us so we didn't have to decline. But I know for sure FI will want to go to the wedding now too.

The dilemma I'm faced with now is with our guest list. Do we invite them since they invited us? If I invite them, am I required to invite her mother? What about her Grandmother (my Grandmother's sister?) 

From what I've heard, my Second Cousin asked her Grandma to make her an invite list. I believe I was on that list. So I feel like its her Grand mother inviting us, not necessarily the Couple.

I'm stuck. I really don't want to add anyone to our list. I'm kinda hoping since we'll be getting married at the start of hockey season they wont come because he'll be away playing pre-season games so at that point its a courtesy invite and its more the gesture than actually wanting them there.
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Re: Courtesy Invite? What would you do?

  • Are you inviting any other second cousins to your wedding? If you are not- then I don't see why you need to make the exception for her just because she invited you to her wedding. If you are- then yes, I think you have to in order to stay true to "inviting in circles"

    If she is your only second cousin- I still do not think you are obligated to invite her just because she invited you.

    Just my opinion :)
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  • The girls over on The E board say that you do not have to do courtesy invites. In with you in that I'm trying to cut people not add them
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  • We're not inviting any cousins.

    With the exception of my one (first) cousin that got married last year. We're inviting her.

    Othre than that, no cousins, first or second. This second cousin would be the exception to the rule that we're using for my other cousin. But is it necessary?
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  • No, invite who you want. 
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  • Are you only inviting the one first cousin because she just got married and invited you? In this case as well I would say you could leave her off and the second cousin. If you are not close and you decided not to invite any cousins just stick with that.

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