Fiance driving me nuts

meghanmcadams · November 2009

Is anyone else's Fiance over opinionated in wedding stuff!!! Mine is driving me bonkers, as usual he has an opinion on everything!! He is going to drive me more crazy then my mother!!!

aondera · November 2009

LOL. My FI drives me nuts, but about other things. He generally stays out of the wedding-related things. The only thing he has said recently wedding related involved me getting the thundersticks for our wedding, as well as commenting on me trying to get the mascot to make an appearance at the wedding

He "doesn't see the point". A lot of our guests will be OOT guests, and they won't even know who the mascot is. That's what he said. I said boo! And explained that everyone will know within 10 seconds of seeing the mascot!

meghanmcadams · November 2009

That would be awesome if you got Stuff!!

I wish my FI didn't care and let me just take the bull by the horns and run with it.

skhynes · November 2009

Be thankful...there are so many brides who complain that their grooms never care about ANYTHING and it drives them crazy because they would like some help/input! So maybe he's asking to be very involved but in the end it's his day too, so he should probaly get some say

Although, if he's just saying "no" to everything your suggesting, that's not right either. I hate when people shoot every option down but don't have anything better to suggest. Good luck!

StephR1215 · November 2009

haha! Mines is sorta doing the same thing. I think he has been dreaming of a wedding since he was little just like I have so he has premade plans too haha. I say just let him know that this is your event and that he will have his (let him pick the honeymoon or something, that may shut him up). Good luck!

meghanmcadams · November 2009

thanks Ladies sadly he's like this all the time :-)

he's a behavioral specialist so its more of well lets think about it, or other suggestions....

damn psychology degree!!!

AileeneG · November 2009

Honestly, I felt the same way before. He didn't like some of my ideas (like the colors) and I didn't want some things that he wanted.

I thought about it some more and now, I am really thankful that he is excited about our big day and that he is involved. He's being so helpful!

meghanmcadams · November 2009

I don't think it would bother me so much if I wasn't an event planner and I am used to just doing it and not asking anyones opinion.

ahh learning to adapt!

Theresa626 · November 2009

Wow, that would drive me crazy too. I think in marriage, you have to decide who cares about something more and let that person make the decision on it. If both people want to have the say on everything then you'll end up fighting a lot. So, you have to give in a little. Why don't you guys make a list of everything wedding related and number it most to least important to you. Then, if they are different, he can have final say on the things important to him and you can have final say on the things most important to you. If that doesn't work, rate everythign individually, not one through ten and see who cares more about each thing. Perhaps you could also point out an area where he cares much more about what happens than you do and ask him how he would feel if you started to try to control that. It might get him to realize that sometimes it's best to let the other person have the say.

MrsWhitneyAmanda · November 2009

DH had very set opinions on certain things. He wanted tailcoats. He insisted on one specific kind of flower. He would have nothing to do with the color pink and it wasn't allowed anywhere in the wedding, even as an accent.

My thoughts on his thoughts? It's his wedding too. He only gets one to have in his whole life and even though he didn't dream of it for twenty years like I did, he was still going to remember it forever like I would. I figured if it was important enough for him to have an opinion on, it was important enough for me to take into serious consideration. If for some reason I disagreed with his opinion I asked him to support it, and I gave him my reasons for having my own opinion and we made a decision together. Usually we ended up going his way just because I was happy he cared enough to care instead of some of the other grooms I've heard of that say 'tell me when and where and I'll be sure to show up' and consider that the entire extent of their contribution to the wedding.

What sort of things is your FI opinionated over?

umcollegegrl · November 2009

I had the same experience as Whitney.

DH had very strong opinions about a few things, and on those things, we generally went with his choices. There were plenty of things that I took full control of deciding on, and I figured if it was important enough for him to voice a clear opinion, then it was important enough for us to atleast discuss it if we disagreed.

So many people joke about, or tell you their experience of the groom not wanting to having anything to do with wedding planning, that I was happy that DH wanted to be involved. And yeah, sometimes I was annoyed (I designed and personalized each individual RSVP card, and then he had a weird strong opinion about how to list meal choices, so I had to go back and redo each.individual.one. In the end I think he was right though lol) but it made it "Our Wedding" not just "Cheryl's wedding" that he would show up for.

And it was really cute hearing him mention to family or friends that he picked out something, or helped assemble all the programs. He was really proud :-)

amyers321 · November 2009

I haven't been overly pleased with how involved my fiance has been but I realize it's better than his not being involved. He has let me run with any ideas I have had and has been supportive of all the details I want, even throwing in some ideas here and there...although his ideas are often a bit "too" far fetched LOL. He made the final decision on our invitation design(we were down to about 3 and I told him I liked all 3 and let him choose his favorite).
I've had to tell him a few times that his ideas weren't neccessarily "ideal" but he has understood and I think actually saying it to him is what helped. In the end even though it is more so the "brides" day it is his day as well and there should be elements that he helps with.
Ultimately I have gotten to the point where I am asking for his feedback on a lot of things because I want to be sure that he enjoys the day as much as I will.

Fiance driving me nuts

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