unique ideas on how to ask bridesmaids to be in my wedding?!

atinney · December 2010

Hello everyone! I'm new to posting so maybe this has been asked before, but please share with me any ideas you have on how to ask my friends/family to be in my wedding!!! I just feel like I should do more then just say "will you be a BM?" They will be doing so much for me between now and the big day and I want them to know I'm honored to have them be a part of it.

Thanks!

Mrs.B6302007 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_unique-ideas-ask-bridesmaids-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:3a35a381-6cba-4558-9363-6f4b1299f95dPost:0385a060-3fca-4253-b80e-20f05b0058a9">unique ideas on how to ask bridesmaids to be in my wedding?!</a>:
[QUOTE]Hello everyone! I'm new to posting so maybe this has been asked before, but please share with me any ideas you have on how to ask my friends/family to be in my wedding!!! I just feel like I should do more then just say "will you be a BM?" <strong>They will be doing so much for me between now and the big day </strong>and I want them to know I'm honored to have them be a part of it. Thanks!
Posted by atinney[/QUOTE]

Um, like what? They're friends and relatives, you know. Not employees.

SD3194 · December 2010

My friend did a "bridesmaid survival kit" and sent it to her BMs, it was really cute. Had ear plugs, chocolate, tylenol, fake pill bottle that said xanax, duct tape, mini liquor bottles, pack of cigs (for those who smoke), a little note asking us to be in the wedding and some other goodies. The bride is SUPER sweet so we knew it was all a big joke and she wasn't really going to be a bridezilla, we all loved it.

You could always make a cute little note and send it in the mail. I love getting notes and letters in the mail so I'm sure other girls do too. Try googling some ideas too, there should be tons.

mbcdefg · December 2010

I don't personally see the need to ask them in a "unique" way. Why not just ASK?

That being said, if you really want to do something extra, ask each of them privately, and ask in a way you know they'll appreciate. I'd be kind of embarrassed and awkward if someone set up a fancy tea for me, gave me a sappy card or scrapbook, was crying when she asked me, etc. It's just not me. But some people like that. I'd personally feel better about bowling or something.

palmettogirl924 · December 2010

I don't understand why people always need unique ways to ask people to be in their WP. Just ask.

squeakyduck · December 2010

My MOH just said that I should have gotten a virgin Himalayan Dwarf to bring her a scroll of paper that was hand-made by Italian Monks and written in ink made from my blood.

Or you could just ask them.

lalap69 · December 2010

I think the best way is to take them out for lunch or coffee and just ask.

CurlyGirlyGirl · December 2010

Do you really think they are going to care about how you asked them? If they are excited, that's all that matters. You have plenty of other things to worry about.

aerinpegadrak · December 2010

If you can't come up with an alternative idea on your own, it's a good sign that you shouldn't bother trying. Just ask them, not everything about the wedding needs to be a production.

kmd0501 · December 2010

ok so I asked the same question and got alot of nasty comments as well. To me its not about being over-demanding or "bridezilla" but its just like me to be creative and do something nice. Idk when your wedding is or when your timeline for asking your WP is but one of the suggestions I got that I really liked was sending the girls each a personlized Christmas ornament. And since I will be deciding around next Christmas who will be in my WP, I really love that idea. Other girls suggested cute candles with stones matching my wedding colors, or small flower arrangements. I understand that your not trying to over do it, and if its something your friends would expect you to do, then its a nice gesture that only adds to the excitement, IMO. Some girls that replied to my post told me if I asked them to be in my WP with a card or note they would laugh in my face....i dont see this being the case at all. I think it makes your WP feel that much more excited and it means alot to them that would go out of your way to include them and make them feel so thought about. So dont let some of the negative comments discourage you...i think its a great idea!

trix1223 · December 2010

Between now and October, the wedding industry will do their very best to convince you that everything about your wedding must be "unique", "creative", "clever", "special", "unusual", "memorable" or your wedding won't be a success. And that's just not true at all.

The industry is a billion dollar industry because they have done a great job of selling the "fairy tale princess" image of weddings. They've convinced otherwise commonsense women that suddenly they MUST spend money on things that can A) be done for free or

simply don't matter.

Will your friends be less thrilled to be in your WP if they don't also get a cookie shaped like a dress, or get a BMs bouquet of flowers? I'm sure the answer is no.

Start now. Make this your FIRST act of independence from the clever marketers of the wedding magazines, tv shows, and websites. Call up your friends and ask them. If they're local, go out for a cup of coffee and ask them.

Your wedding WILL be unique because it's the only time you'll be marrying your FI. Congratulations, and GL.

mbcdefg · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_unique-ideas-ask-bridesmaids-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:3a35a381-6cba-4558-9363-6f4b1299f95dPost:c12e2f07-d985-4be6-bf38-63b82b2d94d1">Re: unique ideas on how to ask bridesmaids to be in my wedding?!</a>:
[QUOTE]ok so I asked the same question and got alot of nasty comments as well. To me its not about being over-demanding or "bridezilla" but its just like me to be creative and do something nice. Idk when your wedding is or when your timeline for asking your WP is but one of the suggestions I got that I really liked was sending the girls each a personlized Christmas ornament. And since I will be deciding around next Christmas who will be in my WP, I really love that idea. Other girls suggested cute candles with stones matching my wedding colors, or small flower arrangements. I understand that your not trying to over do it, and if its something your friends would expect you to do, then its a nice gesture that only adds to the excitement, IMO. Some girls that replied to my post told me if I asked them to be in my WP with a card or note they would laugh in my face....i dont see this being the case at all. I think it makes your WP feel that much more excited and it means alot to them that would go out of your way to include them and make them feel so thought about. So dont let some of the negative comments discourage you...i think its a great idea!
Posted by kmd0501[/QUOTE]

"A LOT" is two separate words. I can't understand why so many people on this website can't seem to comprehend this.

bablingbrooke · December 2010

How on earth is it nasty to say, "You don't need to do a big production. Your friends will be thrilled to be asked"? I'm serious, telling you that your friends will be so honored to be a part of your wedding that you don't need to buy them a memento to make it special should FLATTER you, not anger you.

trix1223 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_unique-ideas-ask-bridesmaids-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:3a35a381-6cba-4558-9363-6f4b1299f95dPost:92ba9459-b9e1-44f2-bf23-8b9fece1fad9">Re: unique ideas on how to ask bridesmaids to be in my wedding?!</a>:
[QUOTE]I had all my girls over for dinner, and got them each a personalized card asking them, I also got some cute bags with their names on them, and found a little voo doo bridezilla kit at Ocean State Job Lot as a joke... They all really liked it, plus it was nice to have a girls night with some yummy dinner!
Posted by sarahmi5308[/QUOTE]

OP: I would consider this advice carefully. I recommend that you do NOT ask everyone in a group. If, for some reason, a friend has to decline the honor you've offered, you're putting her/him into a difficult position.

Do they say "no" and feel bad for derailing the excitement train? Do they say "I'll need to think about it" and again, perhaps derail that train? Do they say "yes" just because of peer pressure and then regret saying yes?

Ask each of your friends individually first. Then, if you must, have a big old happy time dinner.

lalap69 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_unique-ideas-ask-bridesmaids-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:3a35a381-6cba-4558-9363-6f4b1299f95dPost:f80db27c-ed8c-4609-884e-e0299d34d04c">Re: unique ideas on how to ask bridesmaids to be in my wedding?!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: unique ideas on how to ask bridesmaids to be in my wedding?! : "A LOT" is two separate words. I can't understand why so many people on this website can't seem to comprehend this.
Posted by mbcdefg[/QUOTE]
<a href="http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-you-at-everything.html" rel="nofollow">http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-you-at-everything.html</a>

steveandkir · December 2010

Hi Atinney!

I wanted to make it fun for my girls too, and they're from all over the states, so it was a bit trickier than just going out to lunch. What I did was get together little kits to send to them and mailed it out on Valentine's day. I started the kit by buying a Ring Pop for them and making a little card that said something to the effect of "Steve had a ring and a question for me, so now I have a ring and a question for you." I wrapped the ring pops with a cobalt blue ribbon, which was the color of the wedding. I had a personalized card for each of them telling them how much I would love for them to be in the wedding party. I then threw in some Hershey's hugs/kisses and wrote a note saying that since I couldn't be there in person to give them hugs, that this would have to do for now.

Corny/Cheesy? Yes. Did they love them? Yes

It was just a fun/goofy way to get them excited

Good luck making your girls feel special/excited as well

Have fun with it

nurse2be2011 · December 2010

You could use one of these! It's a template that you can print out on your own so it's only going to cost you the price of cardstock and ink. I don't think you need anything over the top or anything but I feel the same way that I want to do something memorable for my girls so I'm going to do this for them. Also if you go to the rest of the DYI section of this site there are other designs. Hope this helps!!!

http://www.weddingchicks.com/freebies/custom-goodies/will-you-be-my-vintage-card/

unique ideas on how to ask bridesmaids to be in my wedding?!

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