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So I had my 1st breakdown on wednesday night

LADY324LADY324
2500 Comments Combo Breaker
in July 2012 Weddings
I found out one of my BM's was backing out of my bach party b/c she had just found out that she failed her bar exam.  Then also my car broke down on me and I had to call out of work yesterday to get it fixed.  Wednesday night I just started to cry.  FI hasn't been helping much with the wedding planning b/c he is a 1st year teacher and has a very stressful job.  So every night after work he is doing lesson plans, grading papers and doing all of these things for work. 

Eventhough I have a ton of help from my mom I have just been feeling very overwhelmed lately.  I am in a wedding June 15th as well.  So not only am I planning my own wedding but I am also involved in that shower (was last weekend) her bach party next weekend and then her wedding.  It is just a lot of stuff going on I feel like my only free time I have I am going to kickboxing, cleaning the house or cooking dinner and making our lunches for work the next day.  I just feel like I am non stop all of the time!!  We have very few weekends between now and the wedding free so it's just go go go all of the time. 

Sorry this post is just more of a vent b/c I am sure you can all relate to me. 
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Re: So I had my 1st breakdown on wednesday night

  • BmoreBride311BmoreBride311 member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary
    Yes, I think a lot of us can relate! I don't know if you were on the boards on WTF weds, but there was one of us venting about pretty much everything you just mentioned.

    I can def relate to you about FI not helping with wedding planning. Mine is also very stressed with school/work. He is in med school, and his finals are next month and they cumulative from the entire year, so he is extremely stressed about them. I wish I could give you some advice that would help, but I don't have any! I guess just 'hang in there'. You seem like a very together person, so I'm sure it will all work out.

    And think of it this way, the more stressed you are in the next 2 months, the more you can unwind and really appreciate your HM!
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  • LADY324LADY324
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_so-i-had-my-1st-breakdown-on-wednesday-night?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:b13da885-0957-4d41-987e-1d8f19650c60Post:386a3d24-abcf-450e-b1b7-185dace2f232">Re: So I had my 1st breakdown on wednesday night</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yes, I think a lot of us can relate! I don't know if you were on the boards on WTF weds, but there was one of us venting about pretty much everything you just mentioned. I can def relate to you about FI not helping with wedding planning. Mine is also very stressed with school/work. He is in med school, and his finals are next month and they cumulative from the entire year, so he is extremely stressed about them. I wish I could give you some advice that would help, but I don't have any! I guess just 'hang in there'. You seem like a very together person, so I'm sure it will all work out. And think of it this way, the more stressed you are in the next 2 months, the more you can unwind and really appreciate your HM!
    Posted by BmoreBride311[/QUOTE]

    Thanks I know it will all work out.  And I am super put together and on top of things.  I am just tired of it lol.  I can not wait for FI's job to be done in June I think he will be in a better mood once school is done.  He is also not going back to this school in September so he also has the stress of finding a new job for september.  He has a couple of things in the works so hopefully something works out soon. 
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  • mekiakoomekiakoo member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    Aw, I'm sorry you're feeling this way. Last year was my first year teaching and I was SO busy! Is your FI going to be done pretty soon now that school is almost out?? Hopefully he'll be able to help you out more when school ends.

    Is there a reason why your BM cannot stand with you on your wedding day? I'm not sure I see a reason for her to back out because she failed her bar exam.

    I HATE car problems!! We had to spend a total of around $1,500 on both of our cars in the SAME month we closed on our house. Murphy's law never fails us.

    Take a breather once a while and give yourself some "me" time even if it's as short as 5 minutes. Do some breathing exercises- I've learned that they help calm me down. Pretty soon all of this will be over with. The end line is almost here, lady! Think Aruba! :)
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  • littlemoments324littlemoments324 member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Totally agree! That is how I felt the week/weekend of my shower...I just needed a wedding break....really a break from everything...<3
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  • colleenm18colleenm18 member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Comments Name Dropper
    I know what you mean!  This weekend is my last free weekend until June 16th!  Between now and then I have three weddings a shower and a bach party!  FI tries to help whenever he can but our schedules normally dont match up and that makes it even more difficult.  He doesnt get home until 9 at night normally and I am normally in bed by 10!! 

    But everything will work out and calm down and in just a few months we will all be saying how much we miss planning!
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  • LADY324LADY324
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_so-i-had-my-1st-breakdown-on-wednesday-night?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:b13da885-0957-4d41-987e-1d8f19650c60Post:f0e8b15e-8881-47c8-b563-665a0ae81db2">Re: So I had my 1st breakdown on wednesday night</a>:
    [QUOTE]Aw, I'm sorry you're feeling this way. Last year was my first year teaching and I was SO busy! Is your FI going to be done pretty soon now that school is almost out?? Hopefully he'll be able to help you out more when school ends. <strong>Is there a reason why your BM cannot stand with you on your wedding day? I'm not sure I see a reason for her to back out because she failed her bar exam</strong>. I HATE car problems!! We had to spend a total of around $1,500 on both of our cars in the SAME month we closed on our house. Murphy's law never fails us. Take a breather once a while and give yourself some "me" time even if it's as short as 5 minutes. Do some breathing exercises- I've learned that they help calm me down. Pretty soon all of this will be over with. The end line is almost here, lady! Think Aruba! :)
    Posted by mekiakoo[/QUOTE]

    It was for my bach party not the actual wedding.  She is freaking out b/c she didn't study as hard as she should have so now she has to retake the bar the monday after our wedding.  So she has between now and July 23rd to study her arse off.  However later on that night she sent my BM who is planning the whole bach party a text saying that she is back in and she will figure it out.  My bach party is June 2nd so she will still have over a month to study before the exam. 
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  • ceglare4ceglare4
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    Aww LADY I'm sorry! I feel the exact same way too, especially this week. Between working out 5 days a week, dance lessons, work, wedding stuff, and also car troubles this week... it's been a rough week. But things are getting better, and today is Friday, so that's good.

    Hang in there!
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  • mbodymbody
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    I'm sorry you are feeling so stressed out. I always get a little bit of anxiety when I know that I don't have free time for a month! I'm sorry about your friend. I also have a good friend who didn't pass her first time. She already had a job secured at the Cook County (Chicago is in Cook) Prosecutor's office, so she was crushed when she didn't pass, because that pushed back her start date. She passed her second time, and is now working on all these intriguing cases.

    And, Ugh! Car problems sucks!
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  • LADY324LADY324
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_so-i-had-my-1st-breakdown-on-wednesday-night?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:b13da885-0957-4d41-987e-1d8f19650c60Post:e3a2f56b-fac5-495c-8bf4-aec46f53cd39">Re: So I had my 1st breakdown on wednesday night</a>:
    [QUOTE]Aww LADY I'm sorry! I feel the exact same way too, especially this week. Between working out 5 days a week, dance lessons, work, wedding stuff, and also car troubles this week... it's been a rough week. But things are getting better, and today is Friday, so that's good. Hang in there!
    Posted by ceglare4[/QUOTE]

    Oh no sorry car troubles suck!!  My 1 friend had her car break down a month before her wedding and had to get a new one.  Lol why do these cars break so close to the wedding!
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  • mekiakoomekiakoo member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_so-i-had-my-1st-breakdown-on-wednesday-night?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:b13da885-0957-4d41-987e-1d8f19650c60Post:57035549-53f5-47ec-87b6-5c3f96ee3aa6">Re: So I had my 1st breakdown on wednesday night</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: So I had my 1st breakdown on wednesday night : It was for my bach party not the actual wedding.  She is freaking out b/c she didn't study as hard as she should have so now she has to retake the bar the monday after our wedding.  So she has between now and July 23rd to study her arse off.  However later on that night she sent my BM who is planning the whole bach party a text saying that she is back in and she will figure it out.  My bach party is June 2nd so she will still have over a month to study before the exam. 
    Posted by LADY324[/QUOTE]

    Oh! I misread your OP, sorry. Hopefully she'll be back in the party, it's only one night after all- she will NEED a break from studying too :) I hope she does well on her next exam.
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  • ceglare4ceglare4
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_so-i-had-my-1st-breakdown-on-wednesday-night?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:b13da885-0957-4d41-987e-1d8f19650c60Post:4a30f05f-35c1-4287-aa2b-2945ac1467a4">Re: So I had my 1st breakdown on wednesday night</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: So I had my 1st breakdown on wednesday night : Oh no sorry car troubles suck!!  My 1 friend had her car break down a month before her wedding and had to get a new one.  <strong>Lol why do these cars break so close to the wedding!</strong>
    Posted by LADY324[/QUOTE]

    Or the same week that your FI's car has troubles?? Who knows!
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  • bells24412bells24412
    1000 Comments
    Lady this totally blows. I am sorry that everything happened. Just think in 2 months we will be sipping some tropical drinks in Aruba!! That is the only thing that gets me through sometimes and getting married to FI. Hope it gets better for you.
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  • k8888k8888
    1000 Comments
    It especially sucks when everything seems to go wrong all at the same time.  Your FI's school must be REALLY awful if he's leaving after one year.  He'll def get a job with another district... special ed teachers are in demand now.  Fingers crossed!

    If you need any help with wedding stuff, don't forget I'm nearby and a really good worker!  :)
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  • LADY324LADY324
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_so-i-had-my-1st-breakdown-on-wednesday-night?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:b13da885-0957-4d41-987e-1d8f19650c60Post:3bcb80f1-b09e-4132-a94b-c3cf11b5f727">Re: So I had my 1st breakdown on wednesday night</a>:
    [QUOTE]It especially sucks when everything seems to go wrong all at the same time.  Your FI's school must be REALLY awful if he's leaving after one year.  He'll def get a job with another district... special ed teachers are in demand now.  Fingers crossed! If you need any help with wedding stuff, don't forget I'm nearby and a really good worker!  :)
    Posted by k8888[/QUOTE]

    Um we might just need to drink wine together haha!!  When do you close?  We need to do dinner again before you move!!
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  • butterflyjumper1butterflyjumper1
    1000 Comments
    I am so sorry, Lady! What a crappy feeling!! Three of my best friends (one is a BM) haev backed out of my bachelorette party, and despite the reasons for them doing so, it just plain hurts.

    Tell your fiance to get his butt in gear and help you out some more!! It's been really, really hard to work, work out, house hunt, wedding plan, cook, grocery shop, plan meals, etc....I couldn't do it without help from my fiance, so it's totally understandble that you are overwhelmed!

    Not to be a debbie downer, but failing the bar exam is A. BIG. DEAL. If I were your friend, I would absolutely be freaking out about it - I can't imagine what it feels like to fail it. Perhaps she could just come to part of your bachelorette party to at least make an appearance?  I am glad she is still going to be able to be in your wedding - I had approximately 967 mental breakdowns the weekend before the bar exam (I passed) but it's a type of stress unlike anything else.  I am sure she will do what she can to be there for you, but it totally sucks that the bar is only offered twice a year and this is when she has to take it - just a few days after your wedding.
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  • k8888k8888
    1000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_so-i-had-my-1st-breakdown-on-wednesday-night?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:b13da885-0957-4d41-987e-1d8f19650c60Post:54e53510-1beb-4938-b542-38b22a1bf033">Re: So I had my 1st breakdown on wednesday night</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: So I had my 1st breakdown on wednesday night : Um we might just need to drink wine together haha!!  When do you close?  We need to do dinner again before you move!!
    Posted by LADY324[/QUOTE]

    WINE PARTY!  Let's shoot for dinner within the next 2 weeks??  I start bootcamp May 21 so I'll be dead to the world for 4 weeks haha.

    Closing should be around the first week of June!  It's only 20 minutes farther south, so we're still fairly close to you guys. 
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  • bridetobe71412bridetobe71412
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_so-i-had-my-1st-breakdown-on-wednesday-night?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:b13da885-0957-4d41-987e-1d8f19650c60Post:a826dfe7-0c65-41a5-b88c-db20ac5d560d">Re: So I had my 1st breakdown on wednesday night</a>:
    [QUOTE]Not to be a debbie downer, but failing the bar exam is A. BIG. DEAL. If I were your friend, I would absolutely be freaking out about it - I can't imagine what it feels like to fail it. Perhaps she could just come to part of your bachelorette party to at least make an appearance?  I am glad she is still going to be able to be in your wedding - I had approximately 967 mental breakdowns the weekend before the bar exam (I passed) but it's <strong>a type of stress unlike anything else</strong>.  I am sure she will do what she can to be there for you, but it totally sucks that the bar is only offered twice a year and this is when she has to take it - just a few days after your wedding.
    Posted by butterflyjumper1[/QUOTE]

    I'll ditto that. I studied (literally) 20 hours a day and thankfully I passed the first time . . . but in this economy, failing the bar exam is a BIG EFFING DEAL. Like, I would probably have to be locked up in a mental institution if I didn't pass. I can totally understand her freaking out. Those 2 months leading up to it were the worst 2 months of my life, bar none. I would have a major meltdown if I had to do ANYTHING during those two months - I had to give up my dog because I couldn't bring him for walks. I also lost about 10 lbs because I didn't have time to eat. I'm not even joking.

    I'm glad to hear she'll still participate in the bach party, though. I think one month out, she can take an evening off. On the other hand, I would totally be understanding if she's flaking. And if she ends up being less-than-"there" during your wedding, please try to understand she's not doing it on purpose!!! She loves you and I'm SURE she'd rather be there for you than have to take the bar exam again.

    And I agree with PP - you shouldn't be bearing the brunt of all of the work! Sure, fiance is busy, but I think in the two months leading up to the wedding, you're allowed to be a bit of a bridezilla. :) Tell him to help with a specific task! If you trust him to do it "right" that is. hahaha
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  • k8888k8888
    1000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_so-i-had-my-1st-breakdown-on-wednesday-night?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:b13da885-0957-4d41-987e-1d8f19650c60Post:7c4b7cee-88dc-4a6e-acd0-18cd148f4465">Re: So I had my 1st breakdown on wednesday night</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: So I had my 1st breakdown on wednesday night : I'll ditto that. I studied (literally) 20 hours a day and thankfully I passed the first time . . . but in this economy, failing the bar exam is a BIG EFFING DEAL. Like, I would probably have to be locked up in a mental institution if I didn't pass. I can totally understand her freaking out. Those 2 months leading up to it were the worst 2 months of my life, <strong>bar none</strong>. I would have a major meltdown if I had to do ANYTHING during those two months - I had to give up my dog because I couldn't bring him for walks. I also lost about 10 lbs because I didn't have time to eat. I'm not even joking. I'm glad to hear she'll still participate in the bach party, though. I think one month out, she can take an evening off. On the other hand, I would totally be understanding if she's flaking. And if she ends up being less-than-"there" during your wedding, please try to understand she's not doing it on purpose!!! She loves you and I'm SURE she'd rather be there for you than have to take the bar exam again. And I agree with PP - you shouldn't be bearing the brunt of all of the work! Sure, fiance is busy, but I think in the two months leading up to the wedding, you're allowed to be a bit of a bridezilla. :) Tell him to help with a specific task! If you trust him to do it "right" that is. hahaha
    Posted by bridetobe71412[/QUOTE]

    PUN INTENDED??

    (Totally not making light of your ordeal, btw... that's intense!)
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  • bridetobe71412bridetobe71412
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_so-i-had-my-1st-breakdown-on-wednesday-night?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:b13da885-0957-4d41-987e-1d8f19650c60Post:e15967ce-1067-4272-93c6-5a0d7f9d7ad3">Re: So I had my 1st breakdown on wednesday night</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: So I had my 1st breakdown on wednesday night : PUN INTENDED?? (Totally not making light of your ordeal, btw... that's intense!)
    Posted by k8888[/QUOTE]

    HAHAHAHAHA if I said yes, pun intended, would you judge me more? :) hahahaha
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  • k8888k8888
    1000 Comments
    I would judge that you are awesome hahaha
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