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MOH NOT ABLE TO COME NOW WHAT.....

DAVIDSANGEL24DAVIDSANGEL24 member
10 Comments
in Maryland-Baltimore
So i got the news a week ago that my moh can not come due to work and changing positions and stores so she lost her vacation. now i have an uneven amount of gm to bm. i dont know what to do and now my sister is my moh...im still depressed that i cant see my original moh because she is my best friend and i havent been able to see her in 2 years since i have moved....now what..do i leave it to i replace her with another bm and its last minute and i have to order 2 dresses by the end of the month to have them here in time for wedding and alterations for august...

Im confused and upset...and dont know what to look forward to now...i was looking forward to seeing her and her little girl.......

Any advice????????
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Re: MOH NOT ABLE TO COME NOW WHAT.....

  • smange10.10smange10.10
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
     I completely understand you being upset - as I think anyone would be.  That totally sucks that your best friend won't be able to attend your wedding.  I don't blame you for feeling this way. 

    An uneven amount of BM and GM doesn't matter in the least!  In my opinion, I would leave everything as is.  If your sister is going to be your MOH, then I would just go from there.  If you have one less person on your side, no one will notice.  These people are here to support you, and not count how many bridesmaids you have.
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  • dawnmhaydendawnmhayden member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm so sorry!  That's awful news.  Honestly, I wouldn't worry about having uneven numbers of BMs and GMs. We actually had a GM drop out a few months ago and our wedding is in October, leaving plenty of time to find someone.  However, I just feel like if you have a "replacement"-they are just that-and not necessarily someone that you are close with and want up with you on your big day.  I also had one of my BMs tell me she was a "replacement" once and felt stupid-she knew she was just filling in and not the first choice...
    Besides also causing a ton more work for you to scramble and get another dress...
    Plus, I think it doesn't look weird if there are uneven numbers-I was in a wedding last year where there were 2 extra GMs and it was fine.  Lots of people have uneven numbers...
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  • gottahavashortigottahavashorti member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I'm sorry, that really sucks.

    Don't replace any wedding party members.  Doing so can make it look like she is easily replaceable in your eyes, and shows the replacement that she was second pick.  You can still list your MOH in your program if you choose.  I'm not sure why you need 2 dresses - if your sister was a bridesmaid before just have her wear her bridesmaid dress. 

    As for the uneven sides, they're pretty common.  Have one groomsman walk alone or two groomsmen walk with one bridesmaid.  Or do a weave and alternate Best Man, bridesmaid, groomsman, bridesmaid, groomsman
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  • strawberrycrzstrawberrycrz member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm sorry to hear that.  I would be heartbroken as well.  I would leave everything the way it is though.  There is no reason to "replace" her, since she's "irreplaceable" to you.  It's perfectly fine to have uneven sides. 
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  • ajerome21ajerome21 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Sorry to hear this.  I completely understand how you feel and it really sucks.  My Fi's brother is, well was, a groomsman.  FI's brother has some "issues" in his life.  He is unreliable and never shows up for anything.  There is no bad blood there it's just the brother makes poor decisions in his life.  FI has been trying to get a hold of him for 6 weeks and wasn't able to do so.  He finally calls FI Saturday and my FI asked why he hasn't sent his response back yet, is he coming the wedding.  The brother said "I don't know, I have to talk to my wife..."  This started an argument bc FI said that your suppose to be in the wedding and you don't know if your coming.  The brother then confirmed that he will not be in the wedding and that he is not coming at all.

    It is heartbreaking and I know this really upsets my FI.  Our wedding is in 3.5 weeks and his name is in the program.  I was able to contact the program place yesterday and they are able to change it.  FI's friend heard about this and called and offered to stand in which FI agreed to.  Otherwise, we would have left it as is.  These things always have a way of working out.

    Your MOH is not able to come bc of work it's not like she is choosing not to come.  I completely understand how you feel but remember it's not the worst thing that could happen.  Uneven sides are fine and it's becoming more and more popular. I agree with other post that you should leave it as is.  It will be fine!!  Good Luck!
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