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Wedding on FMIL's 50th Birthday...

OR my birthday? We chose the month of October for our wedding because we love the peak fall foliage and think it would be beautiful for our wedding!
BUT the first two Saturdays of October will land on my birthday and the other on my FMIL's birthday!
I have no problem sharing my birthday with my wedding...but I feel like my FH will always feel like our anniversary is more about me than us.
The ideal day we really want lands on my FMIL's 50TH birthday...

any suggestions?!
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Re: Wedding on FMIL's 50th Birthday...

  • Pick the day you want... If its FMIL's birthday then owell.. maybe you can get her a little cake or do something to sy Happy birthday to her at the wedding. If she doesnt care then go for it.
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  • I personally would find a different day.   This may sound selfish of me, but I would like to celebrate our anniversary without celebrating something else at the same time.  I wouldn't want to miss out on future MIL's birthday in order to celebrate our anniversary or vise versa. 

    But if it works in your family and future MIL doesn't seem upset about it then go for it.
  • Talk to her about it. Does his family usually do special things for birthday's? In some families, birthdays are a big deal. And with it being a 50th bday, you never know, someone may be planning something such as a surprise. I would try to find out some of these things before you go booking vendors and such.

    If I were you, I would try to steer clear of both of those dates, but maybe that is just me and I will be in the minority here.
  • What's wrong with the other 2 Saturdays of October? By all means, get married on the day you want, but if you're that concerned about it just pick another Saturday. And does your FMIL even care? If she doesn't mind then I don't see a problem, but if she does, regardless of how childish that is, then I'd suggest remembering the fact that you have to live with her "til death do you part."
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_wedding-fmils-50th-birthday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:bee7324e-001f-4c4c-9ce4-530e5f374accPost:e4c1ee5d-3fcf-41e1-be23-64649b1c4ffa">Re: Wedding on FMIL's 50th Birthday...</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>What's wrong with the other 2 Saturdays of October?</strong> By all means, get married on the day you want, but if you're that concerned about it just pick another Saturday. <strong>And does your FMIL even care?</strong> If she doesn't mind then I don't see a problem, but if she does, regardless of how childish that is, then I'd suggest remembering the fact that you have to live with her "til death do you part."
    Posted by Seshat411[/QUOTE]

    You should talk to FMIL about it.  Is there something keeping you from picking the other weekends in October?
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  • edited October 2010
    This is a big birthday milestone and I would absolutely ask your FMIL before you pick a date. That's not something you want to spring on her, especially if birthdays are a big thing in her family.
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  • My MIL wouldn't care at all.  She hates birthdays, and would enjoy any opportunity to forget hers.  I think you definitely need to consult her first though.
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  • We ended up getting married on my mother's 50th birthday, but it was good- we both got a huge party! My mom was very understanding and birthdays aren't all that important to her. The other weekends in October were booked, so we chose that one- after asking my mom if she cared. Of course, she didn't mind. We had our band sing happy birthday to her, and brought her a little piece of cake with a candle in it.
  • I don't see what's wrong with it being on your birthday. You could always celebrate your anniversary and birthday two days in a row. And then your husband would never forget about it. But then I've never made too much a deal of birthdays so.
  • I would just talk to your FMIL about it like others have said.  Some people really care about their birthday and do a lot for it and some people don't.  I don't think I would personally want it on my own birthday just because you'd always be celebrating both your birthday and anniversary at the same time for the rest of your lives.  I prefer things spread out so you have multiple things to celebrate all year long :-)...this is coming from someone whose always resented having a birthday fairly close to Christmas lol.

    However, I know I stopped caring about my actual birthday years ago (and I'm still relatively young) and I'm pretty sure my FMIL and own mother would prefer if we all forget what age they're turning all together so they wouldn't care lol.  But definitely talk to her about it...some people just really like keeping their birthdays a special day for them. 
  • HaylaCHaylaC member
    Knottie Warrior 100 Comments
    edited October 2010
    ditto pp's just talk to her, if she says fine, do it.  Im getting married on my FMILs 59th birthday, we explicitly checked it was ok with her first and she was fine.  She has given up her birthday for our wedding, we will give up our 1st anniversary for her 60th.

    i am curious as well though why it has to be those saturdays and not any others or a friday?
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  • I talked to her and she is totally fine with it!!
    My FI's family really do not make a big deal out of birthdays at all, so he said it really shouldn't be a problem.
    To answer the question about the other Saturdays is that the peak of fall foliage is the first two weeks of October...which is the exact reason we always wanted it in October. Just that year happens to have all birthdays fall on the first two Saturdays.

    I'm glad it worked out. Thanks for the advice!
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  • I'd pick a different day then her bday or yours. I'd rather turn a regular old day into a special day. When we were trying to chose our day we made sure to avoid any birthdays or holidays  (but thats just us)
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_wedding-fmils-50th-birthday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:bee7324e-001f-4c4c-9ce4-530e5f374accPost:4bc0e685-636b-484b-a4e9-dcaa829bd0da">Wedding on FMIL's 50th Birthday...</a>:
    [QUOTE]OR my birthday? We chose the month of October for our wedding because we love the peak fall foliage and think it would be beautiful for our wedding! BUT the first two Saturdays of October will land on my birthday and the other on my FMIL's birthday! I<strong> have no problem sharing my birthday with my wedding...but I feel like my FH will always feel like our anniversary is more about me than us.</strong> The ideal day we really want lands on my FMIL's 50TH birthday... any suggestions?!
    Posted by emersic9[/QUOTE]

    I think you already decided that you prefer not to have your wedding so close to your birthday. If you FMIL doesn't like the idea of your wedding being close to her bday then pick another day. You never know she may not mind! I am getting married 1 day after my FI bday and it doesn't bother him...but that's him. 
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