My Fi and I never have disagreements where one of us isn't willing to budge until now. I feel horrible because it concerns his son whom I absolutely adore. I always knew that he was going to have his 12 year old son stand up for him at our wedding. We discussed making him a junior groomsman and having my friends 12 year old daughter be a junior bridesmaid. We've been trying to finalize the wedding party for the last month, and in that time he has been saying he has asked 2 people to stand up for him, so I have also asked 2 (we will be expanding this, but he is having difficulty actually asking people he thinks it will be a financial hardship for).
Last night, I discovered his son was included in the two he's been referring to (no idea why I never asked him who those two actually were). He also said that during the wedding, it will be his best man, then his son, then the remainder of his WP. I was under the impression that his son would be last in line because that is where junior members of the WP stand. He used to work at weddings, and he said that he always thought poorly of people who put their children last, and they were usually next to the BM or MOH. I've NEVER seen this done. In my experience, all children are at the end because they are unpredictable. I realize he is 12, but he has special needs, and he often says he can't stand for more than 5-10 minutes. I'm perfectly ok with him sitting down during the ceremony if necessary, but NOT if he is so close to us. He has attempted to sit down in the aisle of a store before, and he always wants to be sitting, so this is another reason I think he would be more comfortable at the end.
I feel like I'm being incredibly selfish and taking something important away from a father and a son, but at the same time I feel very strongly about this. Any advice?