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changing guest list...

avoidsrealityavoidsreality member
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in Wedding Etiquette Forum

A few relationships in our lives have changed since we originally drafted our guest list. We had an engagement party back in September based on our original list. Since then we have decided some of our co-workers are not nearly as good of friends as we had thought and we no longer enjoy their company in a social setting - however they aren't really aware of this. (No "fall outs" so to speak, they just aren't the people we thought they were and we've come to realize we just don't care for them as much as we thought we did.)

Since they have already been involved in the engagement party (and yes they did come to the party) other than probably extinguishing all friendly ties we have with them, how uncouth would it be to NOT invite them to the wedding? I feel fine inviting them (I still enjoy their wives company...) however my fiance is pretty adament that we cut them out all together.

Any thoughts??

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Re: changing guest list...

  • avoidsrealityavoidsreality member
    First Comment
    oh they have been approached. and denied it. It's a lot more complicated and drawn out than us just hearing through the grape vine that they said something negative once or twice. It's been 6+ months of some of our very good friends at work (and in life) coming to us with downright mean and outlandish comments they've heard from the guilty parties.

    It's basically come to we don't want to work where do anymore because of the things that were said and the attitudes said people have when we're not looking. But face to face it's all very cordial.

    However I completely agree I don't want to make it any worse. I was just hoping perhaps someone had a similar situation and maybe the people who didn't get invited....maybe...forgot that etiquette states they should have been.

    C'est la vie. I suppose...
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  • avoidsrealityavoidsreality member
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    sorry about that. Was just trying to have fun with it. Never written a pole before...
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  • danieliza1127danieliza1127 member
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    Well if what these guys have said is really that horrible and you've confronted and they've denied, I'm guessing your relationship is already damaged.  If you really want to make that statement, then don't invite them.

    Being men, I highly highly doubt that they even know that etiquette says they should be invited. 
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  • tlv204tlv204 member
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    That's good that there's at least been confrontation. However, I would probably still invite them honestly if face to face everything is fine. I just decided that a wedding isn't a good time to make a statement about stuff like that, and I'd rather pretend like everything's fine for at least that one day (particularly since so many other things can be frustrating/stressful) and deal with it later. But I'm like that.
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